What To Do When He Won’t Commit To A Relationship?

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Why do you need a commitment in a romantic relationship? What to do when he won’t commit to a relationship? Read this blog and find out the answers!


There are 7 billion people on this Earth, and the fact that you and your partner are sharing a romantic bond is rather special.

Such a relationship requires a lot of work for it to blossom properly, and it’s even harder to keep alive for a long time.

When the flame has dwindled a little in your partner’s heart, you alone can help the spark in your dynamic ignite again!

If you are wondering why your partner isn’t cooperating and what to do when he won’t commit to a relationship, this is the article for you! Read up to learn more!

Commitment – Why Do You Need It In A Romance

Love is merely a chemical reaction, so it can happen naturally and easily. Yet, building a relationship out of that initial spark is going to take more than that.

It takes two to tango, so you two will have to work together to make the bond strong and healthy!

The first two years are considered the “honeymoon phase”, as both of you find out new things about each other and fall in love with them.

As soon as the two-year period is over – or when you have found out enough about each other, you’re going to get a little bored with one another.

From that point on, commitment will be the key to your relationship’s survival.

Without commitment, you two will lose the incentive to do things for one another, as other priorities take over both of your time.

What are love without gestures and special moments? You’ll find yourself being unable to schedule for them, and worse, unable to be swayed by them anymore!

So, what should you do once you sense that your partner is losing interest and effort? Try this guide on for size!

What To Do When He Won’t Commit To A Relationship

The best thing you can do – if we are completely honest with each other – is care, sympathy, and honesty.

That alone will bridge your feelings towards one another and remind your partner to pay attention to you once more. 

However, talking alone is not going to be nearly enough since it takes more than that to make you guys fall in love with one another again.

Here are the steps to your full strategy:

Understand His Needs And Adapt Accordingly

By now, you should know what he wants at times already. Still, do you know what he really needs out of you and of life?

Take a moment pondering over that and whether or not you’ve been aiding him with that particular area of life. 

Everyone’s wants and needs are unique to themselves, but overall, they all want to be loved and cared for.

How they receive love and give it away can also differ from person to person, so try to see if your partner has a distinct love language that he uses. 

Whether he loves spending time with you, having and handing gifts, doing favors for you – give him the opportunity to be himself, and he will show his commitment to you once more!

Leave When You Feel Like You’ve Had Enough

If being tied down isn’t his main goal, you should be careful

If you have been relenting support in his life for a long time and still receive nothing in return, you might want to consider leaving.

You have been giving them a chance after chance, so if they do not want to show you appreciation, then you do not have to stay.

A relationship should be balanced from both sides, or one party will feel dependent on the other for emotional approval.

That’s not going to form a healthy dynamic any time soon, and you both will be miserable in the end.

Talk to your partner about your needs, and if he feels like he is not ready to fulfill them, or he doesn’t know what his needs are yet, give him some time to think for himself.

You cannot intervene in that process, but you don’t have to be there to see the end of it either. 

Let Him Know That He Can Trust You Again

All relationships are built on trust, and romantic ones are no exception. The best way to show that he can trust you is to let your vulnerability out in front of him.

You have been holding a lot of tension to yourselves, so a complaint session for the both of you every once in a while will be good as a trust exercise.

Another tip to go about this is to show your capabilities. Long gone are the days where women were expected to stay home and be dependent on their lover!

If he knows that you are able to take care of yourself and still give him affection, he will have more incentive to place his faith in you and commit to you.

However, you should note that men can also be dependent on women, so don’t let them live off you without giving anything in return!

Keep Your Temper In Check

Don’t let your partner feel like he has to walk on eggshells around you!

Once he does, it births the assumption that you do not appreciate his efforts made towards you, and that causes him to be less motivated to commit.

Take a step back whenever you feel like you’re going to explode

When going into an argument, stop yourself before you start to scream. Consider whether this is worth having a rift over, or you both are just in the heat of the moment.

Besides, avoid having dumb arguments, and your partner will respect you and your temper a lot more.

This carries over daily things as well. Whenever someone or something inconveniences you, take a moment to think if it is worth your attention. 

No one wants to be with someone who is in a constant bad mood, especially a partner who’s wondering if he wants to commit.

There are times for healthy emotional releases, so make use of those times instead of letting your anger burst all the time!

Allow Him To Take Initiative

How long has it been since you two have been on a date or bought a thoughtful, non-last-minute gift for one another?

If you can’t recall, then it’s about time you plan for some!

You should give him some hints as to what he should do if you want to see changes in behavior.

Some men are rather bad at picking up signs, so you might want to spell it out for him. If he truly wants to surprise you, he will make it work. 

Try these quotes around him to give him some headstarts:

  • “I’ve been wanting to buy [insert item here] for a long time, but I haven’t gotten around to seeing it at the store!”: This shows that you have interest in a little something within their budget, and the item is readily available at a store for them to grab!
  • “Hey, hasn’t it been a while since we’ve been to [insert location here]? I wonder if they have anything new there!”: This shows that you want to visit old memories, which will trigger his nostalgia as well. A trip down memory lane is always a good idea for a date!
  • “I’m free this weekend. I’m down for anything if you are!”: Actively showing that you’re available prompts your SO to make time for you. You can also let him switch roles with you and be the one to clear your schedule for him as well! 

However, if you say that you’re “down for everything”, be sure to keep your words and go along with the captain’s directions.

When your partner takes charge of an activity that you happily follow along with, the occasion will serve as a nudge for him to do so again in the future!

Are you having trouble with dating? Do you need any practical advice or tips on how to draw attraction and make your man commit to you, check out this “His Secret Obsession” guide.

Find Ways To Ignite The Spark

Aside from going on dates and giving each other gifts, you can also focus on how you interact with one another on a daily basis. A little goes a long way, so get creative!

If your partner likes to sleep in late, give him a kiss on the forehead every morning to gently wake him up.

A sticky note in his work shirt’s pocket will keep the thought of you in his mind throughout the day.

On those days when he has to stay up and work, make him a hot cup of coffee and wait for him to head to bed with you instead of dozing off immediately.

This is the best way for romance to seep into your routine once more, now that you are spending more time together than ever.

The possibilities are endless in your interactions, but if you need help, you can still browse the net to find out new ways to make your love feel novel again!

Read more:

Discover What To Do When He Becomes Distant And Cold

Be Yourself

What to do if he won't commit to a relationship

This goes for the both of you since one can only love fully when they are true to themselves. As we have spoken about showing your vulnerability, the only thing left to do is to communicate your feelings.

Declarations of love are easy to make when you are first starting out in your relationship, but as you go further in, you drop the habit on the way.

Tell him you love him, appreciate his presence, and he will do the same for you. Everyone loves to hear affirmations, so long as it is not overdone.

You may think that a lot of your guilty pleasures are yours to keep, but letting him in on a thing or two will allow him to feel more comfortable around you.

It will also encourage your partner to do the same thing, turning your shared space into a truly private safe zone for the both of you!

Discover how to understand him on a deep emotional level, and how the subtle things you say affect him much more than you might think. Click HERE to GET YOUR FREE EBOOK TO LEARN HOW TO DO IT!

Build A Healthy Relationship With One Another

A surefire way to keep your relationship on the healthy side is to ask for feedback and be sensitive about what the other party does or does not like.

Even though people always say that you have to love every part of your beloved’s life, everyone has room to grow.

Although that doesn’t mean you should turn this into a ranting or nagging session, be truthful and gentle so that your partner can take your advice without taking offense.

Vice versa, allow your partner to give you constructive criticisms as well.

After all, you are here to make each other more perfect.

What better way to develop yourself than have someone to keep you in check?

Read More:

How To Explain How Much You Love Someone And Why? – Some Simple Steps

My Personal Story On The Method

The reason why I can tell you with confidence is that I’ve been through the situation you have.

My ex and my current husband all started as commitment-phobes – they’re not exactly the type to expect a long-term relationship.

Both relationships I have with them are rather heart-breaking at first, but only one of them comes out with a happy ending (hence one of them is now an ex-boyfriend).

All of the tips I mentioned above are from my own experience and life, and I can tell you with confidence that they work.

Despite that, I must admit that I am not the most healthy person ever in the context of romance as well.

I had caught myself blowing up at my ex’s face when he was late to date or nagging for an hour straight because he left his clothes on the floor.

Still, I’ve learned my lesson and I’ve become better, though it wasn’t enough to save my previous relationship.

After being through a few relationships with those who don’t want to commit, I’ve come up with tactics, but there’s no denying that I got lucky.

The one thing that you should remember from all of this is that: A man will only commit if he wants to commit.

You cannot force them, pressure them, use ultimatums, or threaten them into doing so. 

The fact that your lover does not commit doesn’t always rest on your shoulder either: If they don’t want to commit to you, it’s not you who’s supposed to make them do that anyway.

Believe in yourself and do your best; you’ll reap your rewards soon!


  1. How Can I Speed Up The Process?

Let’s face it: You can never tell. The decision on whether or not your partner will commit will be on him, and he has the final say in it no matter what you say or does to him. 

The only thing you can do to (hopefully) help him make a decision is to be there and remain supportive.

  1. How Long Does It Take?

Again, there is really no telling whether he is going to be quick or slow about it. Those who have been hurt by relationships in the past will take longer to trust their partner and decide to commit to the romance.

Being patient with your partner will reward you with a dedicated and strong-minded lover, or at least, a lesson on how love works.

  1. How Do You Get A Guy That Doesn’t Want A Relationship To Commit?

If he has made it clear that he does not want to commit, there is no way you can sway him. He might be hurt by his history or simply uninterested in romantic relationships, and those are not exactly things you can influence. 

If you cannot stand to be by a person who will not commit to you, you do not have to stay.

You will find the Prince Charming that loves you enough to commit to you soon enough!

  1. How Do I Get Him To Commit Over Long Distance?

Long-distance relationships can be quite difficult, especially for those who don’t know each other too well just yet. If you are flexible and creative, everything you’ve read above can go into your plan to show your love across the globe even:

  • Encourage him to talk over the internet. You don’t have to text him every day; only do it so much that he thinks of you every time he touches his phone.
  • Set up online dates and movie nights, so you can still celebrate milestones in your relationships despite the distance.
  • Make use of delivery and postal services to send loving gifts and food over to your lover.

These are merely three of the various ways to lighten up your other half’s day while they’re away. Get creative and use all the tools you need!

  1. How Do I Make Him Worry About Losing Me?

You shouldn’t aspire to make someone need you, as that mindset births co-dependence and toxicity.

Instead, try gearing yourself towards helping your relationship develop naturally, and you’ll be on his mind for good!


That is all you need to know about what to do when he won’t commit to a relationship!

I hope that this piece is helpful for you, your partner, and the relationship you two have in the long run. If you have any more questions or simply want to chat, be sure to reach out. Goodbye for now!

Further Reading

Man Decoder: The Truth About Why He Won’t Commit

What to Do if Your Partner Is Afraid of Commitment

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