Top 3 Memorable Date Moments of 2011

Posted by Delaine - January 16, 2012 - Between the Sheets, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches - 7 Comments

Ah, another year…another year of dating (smile). 

2011 brought its shares of up and downs in the dating trenches for this divorced mother of three. Not as crazy as years previous (phew!), but memorable just the same.

Thus – a quick peek back at my most memorable date moments – what shocked me, rattled me, and warmed my heart.   There are lessons inherent in every date we go on if we look for them!

1) Rob the Rejector.  Rob and I dated maybe half a dozen times and I quite liked him.  But on our final date together, he told me was getting attached to me – and that really concerned him because, as he’d mentioned before, he wasn’t keen to be involved with someone who has three kids.  (His kids were fully grown; didn’t want to ‘go back’ to that).  I totally understood and appreciated his honesty. But since we got along so well I asked if he’d like us to be friends with benefits.  His response?  “I don’t know how to do that.  I can’t continue having sex with you without developing strong feelings.”

Lessons learned: Having kids can be a dealbreaker to some.  It hurts to hear it; sometimes it’s irritating, too.  But better to know the truth.  Also, the way that Rob expressed that he couldn’t have sex without attachment was very endearing to me; sex isn’t just a physical act to all men. It was sweet to watch and hear him say it. 

2) Mister “I’m Not Into Monogamy.”  Yup, I sure wrote about this guy. It was pretty shocking to come face to face with someone of this outlook on our fist date.  I’m just glad he laid his cards out so quickly: spared me potential hurt further down the line.  And in the end, though his views made me think hard about faithfulness, what it means to me, and the nature of humans and love, my opinion was reinforced:  I AM into monogamy!

3) The Cheating Cowboy. Yessiree, I wrote about this guy too; got a lot of flack from readers for it as well.  Turned out that this smooth-talking cowboy was married – and playing me to a T.  In the end, I chose to out him and tell his wife.  That’s right – I didn’t just silently bow my head and walk away.  And to this day, I wouldn’t change my choice. Even though I got called everything from a home-wrecker to a bitch with anger issues.  The bottom line to me was that his wife needed to know; what she did with the info was her business.  And I would do it again tomorrow if a similar thing transpired.

As I said above, there are lessons inherent in every date we go on – we just need to look for them.  If a date doesn’t turn into Mr or Mrs Right it doesn’t mean it was a waste of time.  It can be a mirror.  It can test us to discover new things about ourselves.  It can test our morality, and sometimes even bring us face to face with light or darker parts of our personalities. All I know for 100% sure is that sitting at home, crying in our tea or swearing off the opposite sex only yields one definitive thing: aloneness.  Life is much more interesting and fun when we come out of hiding and embrace it : )