Stop After The First-Date Kiss – Yeah, RIGHT

Posted by Delaine - September 24, 2011 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Women's Sexuality - 11 Comments

Hollywood TV and film make it look so easy:  at the closure of a first date, a man and woman stand facing each other on her porch.  Both are intensely attracted to one another.   Chins tilt, lips touch… and for a long, blissful moment, they yield to the passion of their first kiss.

But -  hands never venture anywhere inappropriate.  Lips inevitably unlock.  And then what do they do?

They go home.  Separately.

Pfft.  Yeah right.

There’s no doubt in MY mind that ‘parting’ is a lot more difficult in real life.  Cause a lovely gentle kiss usually becomes deep kissing; deep kissing leads to hands roaming; hands roaming lead to hips pressing; and HELLO!  Who the hell wants to separate and go home then????

As a divorced woman who doesn’t have an active sex life (*sigh, blame it on bad luck)  - and hasn’t for a looooong time, I’ll honestly admit that if a man dared kiss me right now, and I was more than half-way into him (and he was a good kisser), clothes would be flying off within minutes. I wouldn’t have the desire or will power to show restraint. Nothing short of the roof collapsing would stop me.

I know my admission is very unromantic.  I sound impatient, reckless, possibly even cave woman’ish.  But if I polled a group of divorced men and women, I bet more numbers would tilt to the carnal side that the virtuous.  Stopping after a passionate kiss looks good and all in the movies, but it’s what you do when you’re, say,  15 years old.  But to write the same script for a fully grown adult?  One who knows how good sex feels, who went from steady stream of sex to nada, and who’s hormones are verging on a meltdown? C’mon!  It’s a hell of a lot easier said than done!

I see only two possible ways out of this first-date-becomes-first-sex situation – assuming this is a situation anyone wants to avoid.  First, one of the parties involved  has to ‘control the show’ so to speak, and be strong enough to walk away.  A man has never done that to me before…but, if one were to, I know I’d honor it (though potentially go mad till I see him again).

The other option is to avoid first date kisses altogether – a handshake or hug will do.  I personally like the sound of the latter:I think it’s easier to refrain from everything, than to have to shut things down mid-atomic explosion.

I’m just calling the situation as I see it here. folks.  It’s not romantic.  It’s not pretty.  But it’s darn well honest and worth a ponder.  What do YOU think?