Dating Someone Who Lives Out of Town – Worth The Time & Effort?

Posted by ekzact_team - February 1, 2011 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, From the Dating Trenches, Relationships - 9 Comments

long distanceSince divorcing, I’ve dated a few out-of-town men. These men were whirlwind romances that I KNEW would go nowhere – our geographical distance was too great. Nonetheless, these relationships were exactly what I needed at that time to help me find my bearings in the dating trenches soon after separating from my former husband.

Recently, however, I’ve noted a shift occurring in what I want – I’m ‘slightly’ closer to wanting a REAL relationship. The mere idea of that scares the heck out of me in many ways…yet there’s no denying, I’m opening to the idea.

Enter stage left – a man who lives out of town – maybe three hours drive away. We’ve gone out on a couple of dates now. And though I’m not throwing myself into him, I do quite like him. And for the first time ever I’m wondering, “IF this were to go anywhere, wouldn’t the long-distance logistics be a total upstream battle?”

Cause he has a great job and life in his city. I wouldn’t ever want to move there. My kids have been through enough upset since the divorce – relocation is not what they need. So why invite the chaos and potential despair in my life by continuing to date him?

Oh, I know I’m very pragmatic. I also know I’m reading too much into a relationship that hasn’t even gotten off the ground. But I don’t want to live in an idealistic bubble; I don’t believe in fairytales anymore, nor in the great sacrifices people make in the name of Love.

So I’m putting it out there to you: Do you think out-of-town relationships are doomed from the start? Especially when one person – or both people – have children?

At this point (two years into my divorce), I honestly just don’t know…

(WRITTEN YEAR TWO POST-DIVORCE – Is this an issue YOU”re facing now?)