A Child of Divorce asks: “Are You Going to Marry Him, Mom?”

Posted by Delaine - October 1, 2009 - Children, Parenting, Single Dads, Single Moms - 2 Comments

boy-divorce-family-fatherMy eight-year-old son and I entered a conversation on my possibly remarrying the other day.  It came through a strange side-door.  We were walking down our street, I ahead of him, when two men walking the other way called out: “Fine fine fine, like a bottle of wine” followed by ”The Whistle.”

“Why did they do that Mom?” my son suddenly asked me. 

“Ummm.  Cause they thought I was attractive.”  Seeing the confused look on his face, I added, “Sometimes men and women do funny things when they like someone.”

In the car the next day, he brought it up again.  “Mom, you know those guys who said ‘fine fine fine like a bottle of wine’?  Are you going to marry one of those guys?”

“Gosh no!” I replied.  “Honey, I don’t even know them.  I can assure you I wouldn’t marry either one of them.”

Later that day:  “Mom, are you SURE you’re not going to marry one of those guys who said fine fine fine like a bottle of wine?”

I sat down next him and looked at him sincerely.   “I swear I’m not going to marry either one of them.  And honey, if I was dating someone special or falling in love with someone, I’d let you know.  And I’ll make sure he’s a really great guy, I promise.  Someone all of you will love too.”

“You promise he’ll be nice?  He’ll be gentle?  Maybe someone like your brother, Uncle Chad?”

I smiled.  “Absolutely.  He will be kind and gentle and funny and love the heck out of you too!”

He beamed.  Then:  “I have an idea Mom.  If Roy and Tina get divorced, maybe you can marry Roy!”

I laughed.  “They’re happily married sweetheart.  But yes, the man I marry will be gentle like Roy.”

“And then Kooper and Len will be my brothers!” he whooped.  “And that would be AWESOME cause Kooper’s my best friend!”

I sat there shaking my head but grinning nonetheless.  Oh, the inner workings of a child!