The Dating Gloom & Doom Bandwagon

Posted by Delaine - October 6, 2009 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Longing...and Learning, Support & Girlfriends - 11 Comments

dating-gloom-doomDuring a 24-hour period last week, I heard three gloomy outlooks on dating from three different women in their late thirties or early forties.

The first was a doctor, never married, no kids.  She said the men in her age bracket all seemed to want a woman to “look after them.”  And male doctors and successful businessmen didn’t seemingly like the fact she wasn’t dazzled by their career accomplishments or in need of their financial support.  “I highly doubt I’ll ever get married,” she said.  “It feels like it would be more trouble than it’s worth.”

My two other girlfriends’ outlooks were as equally dismal. They claimed that all the men they met either carried some kind of  ‘wound’ or there wasn’t enough mental or physical chemistry to make them a romantic interest.

I’m not writing this to invalidate these women’s experiences; they’re obviously real to them.  But listening to their stories as a divorced mom now two years single, I can’t help but wonder:  Is it REALLY that bad out there?  Have the lines between men and women become so divisive, that the dating arena has become somewhat of a farce?

I can already relate to these women’s stories.  I can offer up my own tales of shock, horror, scandal, and disappointment.  But instead of remaining on the ‘Dating Gloom and Doom Bandwagon’, I cautiously admit I’m trying to get off of it.  You can call me an idealist.  Heck, you can me a romantic fool.  But I still like to think that there are AT LEAST a few wonderful men out there that I might partner with some day soon.

Does anyone else besides me wonder if we’ve gotten so used to talking about all the bad stuff and bad men out there that that’s all that we attract and see around us? I simply can NOT believe that out of the billions of men on this planet, there isn’t a special one out there for me.

I don’t know – maybe I’m still too naive.  Maybe I should revisit this issue in a year or two - maybe at that point I’ll be DRIVING that Gloom & Doom Bandwagon.  But right now…right now, I’m still choosing to have hope; one little word that holds tremendous possibilities.