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I’m writing this article with the theme song of the movie Rocky playing in my mind. For at this very moment, I don’t just feel like Delaine The Divorced Mother who raises her three kids 95% of the time on her own with no help. No no - I am a champion; my feet are dancing and my arms are raised in victory. For it took strength I didn’t know I had, sweat, blood, and yes, even tears - but in the end, I won: I defeated the insidious Chicken Pox virus that descended upon my children last week and remain standing!
Perhaps you find it silly that I’m making this into a big deal. But if you’re a single parent – (not a part-time parent who only has the kids every second weekend but a SINGLE parent) - I know you ’get’ what I’m feeling. Maybe it wasn’t because of a disease or sickness - maybe it came in the wake of an unusually insane schedule you miraculously pulled off, a smile you kept on your face for the kids despite the brutal argument you’d had with the ex, giving the kids the best Christmas they’ve ever had despite the odds against you, or maybe even just making it through those final hours before the kids went to bed when you felt like the walking dead. (read more here)
I’ll admit, the fact that I’m a single mom to three kids with an ex who’s rarely around, has worried and terrified the hell out of me – sometimes to the point of tears or hours of depression. I’ve felt alone in the corner, trying desperately to make good parenting decisions, to do what’s best by my children…yet inevitably the Doubt Monster and his gang of ‘what if’s’ zoom in for the feast: What if my ex’s absence emotionally damages our kids regardless of my efforts? What if our kids judge our family as ‘bad’ or ‘broken’ because it’s not nuclear? What if they look at the empty seat at the dinner table and long for days past when we were a ’real family?’
I’ve put off and put off and put off writing this blog because I was worried about coming across as a whiner.
“YOUR mom said it’s OK?” I asked one. 
But what five days off also meant was that the mom my kids returned to was totally fired up and ready to maximize the time we had together. And like I said, those five days FLEW by. It’s not that we did anything extraordinary together like go to Disneyland - but it translated into me being more patient and present with my kids whether we were out and about or simply hanging around at home. In fact, the memory that stands out most to me was yesterday when I had a bunch of kids playing at my house. Everyone decided to ‘love mommy and show her how much they appreciate her cause she does so much for us.’ (And no - it wasn’t my idea!) I was then ordered to lie down as one child proceeded to brush my hair, and two others scrubbed my feet and massaged them. Another brought me snacks and fed me, while another cracked my back. But the ‘mommy-love’ didn’t end there - they then eagerly did a myriad of chores around the house with big smiles on their faces and their little chests puffed out with pride… 
Work deadlines loom, my nanny called in sick, my kids’ schedule today is more demanding than most, kripes - I have no groceries or plans for my preschool daughter, my Outlook Express is on the blitz, and somehow I have to manage, troubeshoot, and do it all alone with these two hands and a smile on my face. 
