Tag: divorcedwomenonline.com

"Friends With Benefits" – A Myth, A Rarity, or A Matter of Luck?

Posted by Delaine - May 18, 2015 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
friends with benefits  "Friends With Benefits" – A Myth, A Rarity, or A Matter of Luck?

From Year Two Post-Divorce When my best friend Hali and I found ourselves newly separated and back out in the dating trenches, we kept hearing the term “Friends With Benefits.”   We both liked the sound of it and decided it was something we wanted.  After all, we weren’t ready for serious, but we wanted to have sex.  Thus a sexual…

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Hello God? It’s Me, Delaine. Can You PLEASE Somehow End This Date?

Posted by Delaine - January 20, 2015 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
bad date get me out of here  Hello God? It’s Me, Delaine. Can You PLEASE Somehow End This Date?

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Year four post-divorce His comments caught me totally off guard: We were out on our second date – me and this handsome, charming, 42-year-old divorced businessman. The Indian food we’d eaten was excellent, as was the conversation we’d shared: satisfying…delicious…with just enough ’spice.’  And as we sat there finishing up the last drops of our red wine, I…

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The Cheater & His Self-Loathing

Posted by Delaine - March 22, 2014 - Healing, Infidelity, Surviving, Wisdom Gained
cheating man self hate loathing  The Cheater & His Self-Loathing

FROM THE ARCHIVES 2009 You my not see it.   But it’s there… deep within him. It is beyond his admission, beyond his self-awareness. But it’s there,  eating away at his soul… His self-loathing. He may seem all blissfully happy-in-love with her; look at that skip in his step. That skips says that he wants nothing…

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Beware the Loose, Wrinkly, Lopsided Vulva!

Posted by Delaine - September 5, 2011 - Career & Money, Concerns & Fears, Dating & Sex, Loving The Skin You're In, Women's Sexuality
wrinkly ugly unacceptable vagina vulva  Beware the Loose, Wrinkly, Lopsided Vulva!

So apparently the look and feel of our vulvas/vaginas are one more thing we’re to concern ouserlves with as we reconstruct our lives and selves after divorce. Haven’t you heard?  We’re supposed to be as pretty and symmetrical as a text-book drawing.  Are you a little one-sided?  Stretched out?  Perhaps a little dangly?

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Anger & Mistrust of Men: Have Your Walls Become Your Prison?

Posted by Delaine - January 9, 2011 - Fears & Challenges, Grief/ Anger, Healing, Infidelity, Relationships, Wisdom Gained
divorced woman walls bitterness1  Anger & Mistrust of Men: Have Your Walls Become Your Prison?

Do you ever wonder if divorce and/or infidelity have ‘hardened’ you?  I don’t mean ‘hardened’ as in “made you stronger.”  I mean as in, “encased you in a shell of mistrust and bitterness towards the opposite sex.” Cause that’s what happened to me; I wasn’t even conscious of it at the time.  Truth is, to this day, I still sometimes struggle with…

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Shielding Your Kids From “The Heat” of Divorce

Posted by Delaine - December 28, 2010 - Children, Co-Parenting, Dealing with the ex, Parenting, Surviving, Trying to Get Along
hot headed divorce issues1  Shielding Your Kids From “The Heat” of Divorce

Studies have shown that it’s the ongoing hostilities between divorcing parents that really emotionally damage and traumatize children.   So how do you protect your children’s emotional well-being if divorce matters are in the Red Zone, the two of you aren’t speaking, and you can’t even stand being in the same building as him/her? You may ‘know’ you should smile and talk civilly and put…

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Divorced Mom Worries: Can I make this a happy holiday for the kids?

Posted by Delaine - December 25, 2010 - Parenting, Single Moms
divorced mom Christmas alone kids 290x300  Divorced Mom Worries: Can I make this a happy holiday for the kids?

I just finished tucking my three children into bed this fine, Christmas Eve.  They protested the entire time that they’d be awake “all night” cause they’re so excited.  But right now I’m just so happy we shared a lovely evening together.  More than happy, I am relieved.

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They Just Weren’t That Into Me!

Posted by Delaine - December 16, 2010 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Understanding Men/Women
not that into me  They Just Weren’t That Into Me!

I read the book and last night, I saw the movie. And “He’s Just Not That Into You” clearly revealed how I’d kept my head WAYYYYY up in the clouds when it came to men – my ex-husband included. Time and time and time again, throughout my dating and married life, I have made excuse after…

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How Do You Spend Your Time Without Kids? Pity Party or Private Party?

Posted by Delaine - December 15, 2010 - Parenting, Time Without Kids
divorced mom without kids what to do  How Do You Spend Your Time Without Kids? Pity Party or Private Party?

This afternoon, my former husband picked up our three kids for the weekend. And as they drove away, I shut my front door and smiled. ‘It’s ME time,” I thought contently. “For the next 48 hours, this full-time divorced mom is officially ‘off-duty’ and free as a bird. Whoopee!” I could have gone out with…

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I Smell A Cheating Husband…You?

Posted by Delaine - November 3, 2010 - Infidelity, Social Barriers & Change, Support & Girlfriends, Surviving
smell cheater husband affair1  I Smell A Cheating Husband…You?

This past weekend, a very close friend of mine, Darlene, phoned me in a tizzy. Out of the blue, she had been accused by a girlfriend of having an affair with her husband. And since I’d recently been accused of the same by a neighbor, she wanted help sorting through the drama. Now I believe…

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“Love The Way You Lie” Spotlights Domestic Abuse

Posted by Delaine - August 11, 2010 - Abuse, Surviving
eminem love the way you lie domestic abuse1  “Love The Way You Lie” Spotlights Domestic Abuse

The most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive marriage is when she tries to leave him – that’s when close to 50% of violent crimes are committed, including homocide.  And to drive this point home, American rapper Eminem (with Rihanna) doesn’t mix words in his dramatic new release, Love The Way You Lie.  The rage, the regret, the control…

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Dating Adventure: It really is ironic…don’t you think?

Posted by Delaine - August 9, 2010 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating
irony amelia delayne1  Dating Adventure: It really is ironic…don’t you think?

So I spent the wee hours of last Monday night having a ‘private party’ with just me, a bottle of wine, and Alanis Morrisette.  Of course, she was just playing on youtube… but I’ll tell you, the music from her album, Jagged Little Pill, sure did hit the spot  – especially the song, Ironic.  For you see, further…

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Song For Those Betrayed: “Jar of Hearts”

Posted by Delaine - July 21, 2010 - Grief/ Anger, Relationships, Surviving
jar of hearts christina perri 266x300  Song For Those Betrayed: “Jar of Hearts”

Three weeks ago,unknown and unsigned singer Christina Perri was working as a waitress in a Philadelphia cafe.  But by chance – or perhaps grand design  – a song she wrote called Jar of Hearts,  landed in the hands of  Stacey Tookey, a choreographer for So You Think You Can Dance.  Virtually overnight, Christina’s life has become a whirlwind of incredible…

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Unusual Bedroom Behavior: Signs A Spouse May Be Cheating

Posted by Delaine - March 14, 2010 - Infidelity, Surviving
cheating signs in bedroom  Unusual Bedroom Behavior: Signs A Spouse May Be Cheating

It was only in hindsight that Gail realized that signs of her husband’s cheating had been present for months: in the bedroom. “Out of blue, he kept trying a new sexual position,” said Gail.  “I thought maybe he’d seen it in a movie or something.  ‘C’mon,’ he’d say, ‘Just put these pillows under your hips, I know you’ll love it.’ …

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Relationships:The Huge Missing Piece I FINALLY Found

Posted by Delaine - February 23, 2010 - Fears & Challenges, Healing, Relationships, Wisdom Gained
relationships dating puzzle piece 199x300  Relationships:The Huge Missing Piece I FINALLY Found

I dare say I’ve had an epiphany in the relationship department; a giant revelation around what I ultimately need.  And though it may seem an obvious component to you, I’m afraid  it’s something I’ve never had before.  And I can’t help but grin cause it came via a most unusual source. Do you remember my Handsome Good Man?  He’s the widower…

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Serving It Up Cold To That Lying, Cheating Bastard

Posted by Delaine - January 26, 2010 - Escaping: Books, Music, Films, Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Surviving
revenge cheating spouse  Serving It Up Cold To That Lying, Cheating Bastard

When you found out your spouse was cheating, were you obsessed with thoughts of revenge?  Throwing all his clothes in a heap on the lawn…slashing his tires…or forwarding copies of his cyber sex sessions to his entire address book?   Maybe your fantasies were more devious – perhaps they involved some Superglue and the bathroom throne.  Or maybe…

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Redo and Reclaim The Master Bedroom After Divorce – Why & How

Posted by Delaine - January 12, 2010 - Advice, Healing, On being alone, Phases/ Stages
bedroom redo divorce 2 150x150  Redo and Reclaim The Master Bedroom After Divorce – Why & How

Within months of separating from my ex two years ago, I suddenly felt an incredible need to redecorate the master bedroom.   I’m not sure if I did it more as a mental distraction at the time, or if some unconscious part of me knew I needed  to ‘get him out of there” and make a new space…

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Stop, Hey – What’s That Sound? Unresolved Legal Issues Pulling You Down…

Posted by Delaine - December 24, 2009 - Children, Legal Matters, Surviving
divorce affidavit1  Stop, Hey – What’s That Sound? Unresolved Legal Issues Pulling You Down…

I’m not a divorce lawyer.  But I’m a divorce expert in my own rite.  And now that I’m two years into my divorce, there’s one golden nugget of advice I’d like to pass onto those newly divorcing:  Get EVERYTHING down in writing – signed, sealed and wrapped up – otherwise, there’s a good chance you’ll be postponing the inevitable…

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Nothing Says “Merry Christmas” Like A Divorce Voucher

Posted by Delaine - December 22, 2009 - Deciding to Stay or Go, Support & Girlfriends, Surviving
divorce voucher 150x150  Nothing Says “Merry Christmas” Like A Divorce Voucher

These days you name it and you can find it in gift certificate form – spa treatments, movies, furniture…  But what do you think of the idea of a ‘Divorce Voucher’ as a Christmas gift?’ A few weeks ago, a law firm in England named Lloyd Platt and Company began offering such vouchers as gifts for the…

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Worries Of A Divorcing Mom: Am I Doing ‘Enough’?

Posted by Delaine - December 10, 2009 - Children, Parenting, Single Moms, Surviving
worried divorced mom enough  Worries Of A Divorcing Mom: Am I Doing ‘Enough’?

Even when I was married, I sometimes worried that I wasn’t doing ‘enough’ for my kids: Should they be involved in more activities or less? Am I too strict or not strict enough? Am I doing, saying, showing my kids enough of whatever they need to feel loved and special? We only get one shot…

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