These days you name it and you can find it in gift certificate form – spa treatments, movies, furniture…  But what do you think of the idea of a ‘Divorce Voucher’ as a Christmas gift?’

A few weeks ago, a law firm in England named Lloyd Platt and Company began offering such vouchers as gifts for the holiday season.  For 125 pounds, each voucher is good for one half-hour session of divorce advice with one of their lawyers, quite a savings since they normally charge 325 pounds/hr ($530/hr).  This means that husbands, wives, mistresses, friends, heck – even kids, can nudge the process along by sticking this paid-for service in a loved-one’s Christmas stocking. (read more here)

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

So I’ve finally reached the point where I’m not totally embarrassed of the fact that I’ve been living in Low-Income Hell since March; that’s when my ex-husband lost his job and my child AND spousal support both went up in smoke – overnight.

It’s been hard.  REALLY hard.  I’ve laid awake many a night stressing over how me and the kids would get by this summer.  But you know what I just realized?  School is just around the corner – and I DID it:  I made sure my kids had a darn good summer despite everything  (patting self on back).  (read more here) 

Other Articles:

Would YOU Go To A Bar Alone?

If You & A Close Friend Had Sex With The Same Man Would It Weird You Out?

Does Penis Size Matter?

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

It was my greatest fear when I began online dating: that a child predator would feign interest in me in order to get to my kids.  And today, though I’m much more comfortable with this medium, AND, I’ve still never introduced a man to my children, it’s always at the back of my mind.

According to Joe Tracy, Publisher of Online Dating Magazine which is a consumer watchdog for online daters, “there are some sexual predators and sex offenders who specifically use online dating services to target single parents in order to get to their kids.  It doesn’t happen a lot, but it does happen.”

Paul Falzone, CEO of Together Dating, says that for most of the 40 million people using dating sites, a disastrous 15 minutes over coffee at Starbucks is the worst they will suffer.  Falzone’s dating site performs background checks on all members and results in 10% of applicants being rejected. 

But Dr. James Houran, a spokesperson and feature columnist at Online Dating Magazine, says we should never rely on dating sites that say they screen out predators.  It is our responsibility to protect our and our family’s safety.

“The best protection is to use your head in matters of the heart,” says Houran.  “Do not get so caught up in the excitement of online dating that you are not constantly alert.  Instead, assume everyone online is a potential predator.”

The following online tips to single parents are recommended by Online Dating Magazine:

1) Never post photos of your children in your profile or anywhere online.

2) Don’t talk about your children in your profile.

3) Don’t mention what gender your children are.

4) If you’re dating someone, wait several months – until you are more serious – before introducing your date to your children.

5) Run a background and sex offender check on the person you’re dating before introducing them to your children.

Please refer to www.saferonlinedating.org to view lists of background check websites by state.

Other Articles:

Self-Loathing & The Cheater

Mmmm…This Makes Me Shiver

Is A ‘Spark’ Essential?

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Well, apparently the look and feel of our vaginas are one more thing we’re suppose to be concerned about as we rebuild our lives from scratch. 

Haven’t you heard?  We’re supposed to be as pretty and symmetrical as a text-book drawing.  Are you a little one-sided…stretched out…dangly?  Well welcome the labioplasto – a delightful flesh-carving procedure that ‘re-sculpts’ your labia.  Now you can lie back and spread your legs for any man with pride. 

(Read more here) 

Other Articles:

Flashing Warning: Separated Men

This Divorced Single Mom is having a Hormone Attack!

Hiding My Tears from my Kids

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

According to my best friend Hali, I do.  Disqualify men too quickly, I mean.  Over cocktails this past weekend, I was filling her in on my dating life when she quickly inserted: “Ummm Delaine…WHAT dating life?”

I laughed.  “What do you mean?  You know I’m still active on two dating sites.”

“Yeah, but when was the last time you actually MET someone in person?”

“Well…”  I thought back.  WAY back. Finally, “I don’t know.  Maybe eight months ago?”  We laughed.  Point taken.

My excuses rolled, some of which you might recognize as your own.

Ø      I’m too busy.

Ø      It’s just plain easier for me to just chat with them online.

Ø      Chances are, I won’t like him in person so why bother? 

Ø      I’m tired of organizing babysitters. 

Ø      I feel guilty for leaving my children.

But Hali didn’t buy my excuses.  She said I’d become so accustomed to disqualifying men from the comfort of my office that I was missing out.  She reminded me of the limitations of online dating, that chemistry should be gauged in person, not through a keyboard.  She also reminded me that even if I didn’t meet The One on a date, he might be someone I’d enjoy doing stuff with; have FUN with. 

I’ve considered Hali’s points carefully.  In a way, she was right: quickly disqualifying men HAD become a habit. Had I become lazy?  Cynical?   Disinterested?

I think first and foremost, I just feel exhausted.  This might sound like a Boo-Hoo Moment but working and raising kids full-time for so long has begun to take its toll on me.  Moreover, I’ve been stressed with recent divorce issues – and that negativity is VERY draining.

Nonetheless, I’m filing away her advice away in good faith.  Maybe I needed a little shake by a good friend to thrust me back into action. 

Other Articles:

On Becoming A Woman with a Past

Bad Men Bring Us Gifts

He Called Me “Abrasive”

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

It’s a feeling under my skin - one that has gradually started pushing to the surface this past year.  It tells of love, despair, mischief, and adventure.  It comes from sharing, loving, losing, marrying, birthing, trying harder, bleeding, and celebrating.  It’s a feeling that tells of surrendering and letting go, pushing forward, and living NOW:  I am becoming “A Woman with a Past.”

When I say that sentence out loud, ‘with a past’ doesn’t drag behind the ‘Woman’ like a heavy, iron chain.  In my ear, it is melodic, the tail end swoops upwards, like a swirl, like a spiral of color, to show the vastness and bounty of my spirit and life experiences.    (read more and leave comments here)

Other Articles: Bad Men Bring Us Gifts, Silly & Soulful: All in a Single Mom’s Night Alone, Disempowering Marital Sex

Bookmark It

Hide Sites