Tag: divorce survival

Dating Advice: You Are Not Your Story

Posted by Delaine - May 27, 2014 - Advice, Concerns & Fears, Dating & Sex, Healing, Wisdom Gained
story  Dating Advice: You Are Not Your Story

FROM THE ARCHIVES MAY 2009 A divorced girlfriend of mine was going out on a date – a third date, which rarely happened with her. And as we talked over the phone beforehand, she was almost panicked.“I actually like this man, Delaine. But the timing couldn’t be worse – my life is such a mess,…

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Loving Again After Divorce: I Admit It – I’m Afraid

Posted by Delaine - March 25, 2014 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Healing, Longing...and Learning, Loving & Trusting, Phases/ Stages, Relationships
divorce fear of love1  Loving Again After Divorce: I Admit It – I’m Afraid

From year two post-divorce… A close male friend of mine, one whose opinion I value greatly, keeps telling me:  Gypsy (his nickname for me), you are so afraid to fall in love.  You’ve built walls to protect yourself and keep men out, but you must be careful not to become your own prisoner. Immediately I…

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Divorced Women: Do You Have a Role Model From A Different Generation?

Posted by Delaine - September 25, 2011 - Midlife Divorce, Social Barriers & Change, Support & Girlfriends
mother daughter divorced1  Divorced Women: Do You Have a Role Model From A Different Generation?

At 66 years old, my mom is a real firecracker. This woman has so much energy, she makes 20 year olds look like slugs.  But much more than that, mom is confident.  She’s generous beyond belief.  She’s sexy.  Has taken great care of herself.  And she spends her days either working 10 hour shifts in the hospital or…

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Do We Falsely Idealize Lifetime Married Couples?

Posted by Delaine - July 30, 2011 - Deciding to Stay or Go, Making It Work, Relationships, slideshow, Social Barriers & Change, Surviving marriage lifetime happy or unhappy divorce
marriage lifetime happy or unhappy divorced 300x199  Do We Falsely Idealize Lifetime Married Couples?

Unexpected change is sweeping through the lives of some of my dearest girlfriends these days.  It has arrived wearing the face of divorce or break-up.  As a result, deep and complex conversations around the nature of love, secrecy, and commitment have ensued.  And now, for the first time in my life, I find myself seriously…

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Critical Guidelines for Divorced and/or Remarried Parents

Posted by Delaine - February 28, 2011 - Blended & Changing Families, Children, Co-Parenting, Dealing with the ex, Parenting, Trying to Get Along
child in between parents divorce guidelines  Critical Guidelines for Divorced and/or Remarried Parents

Written by blended family expert Shirley Cress Dudley. 1- Keep contact to a minimum. One phone call a day is excessive, several text messages a day is extremely excessive. If you have a subject related to the kids, speak briefly and clearly about your expectations. Emails are better than phone calls if your issue is…

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“Bad Men” Bring Us Tremendous Gifts

Posted by Delaine - January 24, 2011 - Fears & Challenges, Healing, Longing...and Learning, Relationships, Wisdom Gained
bad boy small  “Bad Men” Bring Us Tremendous Gifts

Almost all women at some point in their lives attract a ‘bad man’; some of us marry him. And by ‘bad,’ I’m not simply referring to men who are drug lords, pimps, or wife abusers. No, “bad men” are men who don’ treat us and love us as wonderfully as we deserve. They are, as…

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Survival Mode: “Existing” Post Infidelity & Divorce

Posted by Delaine - January 19, 2011 - Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Surviving
divorce grief wilderness pa  Survival Mode: “Existing” Post Infidelity & Divorce

“Hang tough Delaine – things are going to better.   You really are better without him…” Many, many times I heard these words from girlfriends when I found out my ex was cheating.  I knew they were right, that at some point things HAD to get better.  But while in the throes of my grief, those words felt…

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Anger & Mistrust of Men: Have Your Walls Become Your Prison?

Posted by Delaine - January 9, 2011 - Fears & Challenges, Grief/ Anger, Healing, Infidelity, Relationships, Wisdom Gained
divorced woman walls bitterness1  Anger & Mistrust of Men: Have Your Walls Become Your Prison?

Do you ever wonder if divorce and/or infidelity have ‘hardened’ you?  I don’t mean ‘hardened’ as in “made you stronger.”  I mean as in, “encased you in a shell of mistrust and bitterness towards the opposite sex.” Cause that’s what happened to me; I wasn’t even conscious of it at the time.  Truth is, to this day, I still sometimes struggle with…

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How Do You Spend Your Time Without Kids? Pity Party or Private Party?

Posted by Delaine - December 15, 2010 - Parenting, Time Without Kids
divorced mom without kids what to do  How Do You Spend Your Time Without Kids? Pity Party or Private Party?

This afternoon, my former husband picked up our three kids for the weekend. And as they drove away, I shut my front door and smiled. ‘It’s ME time,” I thought contently. “For the next 48 hours, this full-time divorced mom is officially ‘off-duty’ and free as a bird. Whoopee!” I could have gone out with…

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“Time” – Can A Busy Divorced Mom Make it Her Friend?

Posted by Delaine - December 14, 2010 - Career & Money, Parenting, Single Moms
managing time single mom  “Time” – Can A Busy Divorced Mom Make it Her Friend?

“Even if the day was 36 hours long, I still couldn’t accomplish everything I need to do.” “I’m spread so thinly I feel like I’m sucking in every area of my life.” “With three young kids AND working full-time, I never get enough time for ME.”

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The Results of a Divorced Father’s Biting Words

Posted by Delaine - November 23, 2010 - Parenting, Single Dads
hockey son divorced dad 199x300  The Results of a Divorced Father’s Biting Words

Over the past couple of months, Shelia has been quietly optimistic around her ex-husband’s relationship with their children, particularly their 10-year-old son.  For you see, since this past September he has been taking their kids on sleepovers twice a month – a  HUGE improvement over his ‘maybe’ once- every-four-to-six-weeks track record. He even began volunteering as an assistant coach for…

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“Ex” – An Ugly Little Word?

Posted by Delaine - October 6, 2010 - Dealing with the ex, Parenting, Single Dads, Single Moms, Social Barriers & Change, Surviving
ex huaband ex wife word ex divorce  “Ex” – An Ugly Little Word?

“EX-husband,”  “EX-wife,”  “The EX.”   The term “ex” is one we all use after divorce, in both our written and oral communications.  It’s something we don’t  give much thought to either – it’s just part of the English language, right?  But have you ever noticed how you feel when say it?   What about when someone ELSE uses it in conversation?  Cause…

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Another Big Life Passage Is Upon This Full-time Divorced Mom

Posted by Delaine - September 28, 2010 - Career & Money, Career Growth & Change, Healing, Identity, Parenting, Phases/ Stages, Single Moms, Strong Mind & Spirit, Time Without Kids
divorce evolution woman1  Another Big Life Passage Is Upon This Full-time Divorced Mom

Three weeks ago, the youngest of my three children started school full time.  And as she disappeared into the school with a brave look on her face, I stood in the school yard waiting for ‘it’ to hit me: sadness…or at least nostalgia.  I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for ten years after all… But I had tears.  No…

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When Women Wear Blinders to the Truth

Posted by Delaine - September 16, 2010 - Infidelity, Loving & Trusting, Relationships, Surviving
liar manipulator ex husband  When Women Wear Blinders to the Truth

Have you ever observed a woman sinking deeper and deeper into a bad relationship and know that it is not your job to intervene? What if this woman was with your ex-husband? Take Carrie as an example. The relationship she is currently involved in has ‘Destructive’ written all over it –  but either she’s too naïve…

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Relationship Warning: Do You See His Potential or Who He REALLY Is?

Posted by Delaine - August 31, 2010 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, From the Dating Trenches, Loving & Trusting, Relationships, Understanding Men/Women
infatuated mans potential  Relationship Warning: Do You See His Potential or Who He REALLY Is?

It’s been three and a half years since my ex-husband and I split up.  And since then, despite the many dates and mini-relationships I’ve had, I’m still single.  But I don’t think of this as being a ‘bad’ thing ; I think I’ve needed this time – to heal, to grow, to like myself more…and to get a much stronger…

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Calling Upon Psychics During the Insanity of Divorce

Posted by Delaine - August 18, 2010 - Relationships, Strong Mind & Spirit, Support & Girlfriends
tarot card reading divorce1  Calling Upon Psychics During the Insanity of Divorce

At any point since your marriage ended, have you been inspired to see a tarot card reader or psychic? Cause I have.  A few times, in fact.  I’ve also looked for ‘angel footprints’ and messages from Above – it’s all about needing a bit of faith, isn’t it?  In ourselves, our futures AND the universe we live in? The first…

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Dating Adventure: It really is ironic…don’t you think?

Posted by Delaine - August 9, 2010 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating
irony amelia delayne1  Dating Adventure: It really is ironic…don’t you think?

So I spent the wee hours of last Monday night having a ‘private party’ with just me, a bottle of wine, and Alanis Morrisette.  Of course, she was just playing on youtube… but I’ll tell you, the music from her album, Jagged Little Pill, sure did hit the spot  – especially the song, Ironic.  For you see, further…

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Terrible Communication With The Ex: Do you ever wonder, Is It ME?

Posted by Delaine - August 3, 2010 - Dealing with the ex, Legal Matters, Surviving
frustration divorce woman1  Terrible Communication With The Ex: Do you ever wonder, Is It ME?

Have you ever a conversation with your ex where his position on issues seemed so blatantly wrong, his perception so skewed, that you sat there wondering, “Am I really off so off the mark on this?  Truly, am I too stupid to get it?   Is it ME?” Cause I have; or rather I am.  I think that overall…

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And JUST LIKE THAT, True Love Might Enter Your Life

Posted by Delaine - April 13, 2010 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Loving & Trusting, Relationships
unexpected love after divorce1  And JUST LIKE THAT, True Love Might Enter Your Life

Shannon’s day had been typical and ordinary; she’d had no ’signs’ or reasons to think it might be anything but.   At 5 o’clock, having finishing her nursing shift at the hospital, she decided to stop in at a trendy bistro for a drink;  having a drink alone was no big deal to her whatsoever.  She stomped out her cigarette…

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“I Grew Balls”: How One Wife Confronted The ‘Other Woman’ To Find The Truth

Posted by Delaine - March 9, 2010 - Deciding to Stay or Go, Infidelity, Support & Girlfriends, Surviving
divorced woman balls courage  “I Grew Balls”: How One Wife Confronted The ‘Other Woman’ To Find The Truth

It wasn’t until ’she’ phoned in the middle of the night that Pam became suspicious.  The woman was obviously drunk, her voice a string of slurs.  And when Pam asked, “Who is this?”, all she got heard was “(Giggles) Just a friend…(click).” The next day, Pam confronted her husband.  Completely taken off guard, he insisted they were “only friends.” …

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