Tag: divorce support

Not Just A ‘Divorcee': I’m a Magnficient Women with A Past

Posted by Delaine - December 23, 2013 - Healing, On being alone, Strong Mind & Spirit, Wisdom Gained
000d60aa06df0972913a4e 278x300  Not Just A ‘Divorcee

FROM THE ARCHIVES 2011 There is a feeling under my skin – one that has risen to the surface over the past few years since my divorce. It tells of love, despair, renewal, and adventure. It comes from marrying, birthing, falling, bleeding, daring, reaching and celebrating. It’s a story – a hard-earned one – that is me, but not all of me:…

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A Smart, Savy, No BS Girlfriend:We All Need One During Divorce

Posted by Delaine - February 28, 2011 - Legal Matters, Support & Girlfriends, Surviving
girlfriend tough smart divorce1  A Smart, Savy, No BS Girlfriend:We All Need One During Divorce

Smart.  Well-informed.  A ‘no- BS’ kind of dame.  This is the type of  girlfriend I think every divorcing woman needs in her corner as she navigates divorce.  Especially if the divorce has gotten tense…and the ex is a dirty fighter. I don’t think it’s the only kind of friend or support we need; there are those whose primarily listen, those who make us forget, those…

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“Bad Men” Bring Us Tremendous Gifts

Posted by Delaine - January 24, 2011 - Fears & Challenges, Healing, Longing...and Learning, Relationships, Wisdom Gained
bad boy small  “Bad Men” Bring Us Tremendous Gifts

Almost all women at some point in their lives attract a ‘bad man’; some of us marry him. And by ‘bad,’ I’m not simply referring to men who are drug lords, pimps, or wife abusers. No, “bad men” are men who don’ treat us and love us as wonderfully as we deserve. They are, as…

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Survival Mode: “Existing” Post Infidelity & Divorce

Posted by Delaine - January 19, 2011 - Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Surviving
divorce grief wilderness pa  Survival Mode: “Existing” Post Infidelity & Divorce

“Hang tough Delaine – things are going to better.   You really are better without him…” Many, many times I heard these words from girlfriends when I found out my ex was cheating.  I knew they were right, that at some point things HAD to get better.  But while in the throes of my grief, those words felt…

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Anger Phase: Men’s Neediness Makes My Bloodstream Turn Cold

Posted by Delaine - December 9, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Grief/ Anger, Phases/ Stages, Surviving
6a010536f43000970c01156efb3a4f970c 800wi  Anger Phase:  Men’s Neediness Makes My Bloodstream Turn Cold

I’ve noticed a new tendency emerging in how I deal with men I date. And before I proceed, let me reiterate that I tell every man I date, straight out, that I’m NOT looking for serious; I’m NOT READY. So what happens is that when I’m having a conversation with a man and I perceive ‘neediness’ on…

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Internet Dating:Can Too Much Pre-Talk Wreck the In-Person Meeting?

Posted by Delaine - May 22, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Internet Dating
6a010536f43000970c01156fa58250970c 800wi  Internet Dating:Can Too Much Pre-Talk Wreck the In-Person Meeting?

A friend of mine recently asked me this question, and I’m curious as to what you think: If you talk to a prospective online date a lot by phone or IM, can it spoil the in-person meeting? My personal opinion?  Yes, it can.    Now don’t get me wrong – I always pre-screen a man once or twice by phone or through…

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Dating After Divorce: Is a ‘Spark” Necessary?

Posted by Delaine - April 27, 2009 - Cougars & Single Moms, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
spark nice guy dating2  Dating After Divorce: Is a ‘Spark” Necessary?

He was sooooo nice.  So very, very nice.  Well-spoken… mature… a fun personality.  And I really did enjoy talking to him. But I felt no spark;  I just wasn’t attracted to him.  Not just physically, but energetically. He wanted to meet me for a second date.  I really didnt want to…but again, I went over his very nice qualities.  “He’s…

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BALANCE – How Does a Full-Time Working Mom/Dad Measure It?

Posted by Delaine - April 21, 2009 - Parenting, Single Dads, Single Moms
6a010536f43000970c01156f3a1aaf970c 800wi 199x300  BALANCE – How Does a Full-Time Working Mom/Dad Measure It?

  We hear about it all the time – this thing called “balance.” We’re told it’s something we all need and should strive for.  And if we’d just get our acts together, devote the time to properly mastering the art of juggling, we’d acheive it too. But you know what I’ve never understood?  How it is…

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This Divorced Mom Asks: “Do I Disqualify Men Too Quickly?”

Posted by Delaine - April 17, 2009 - Concerns & Fears, Cougars & Single Moms, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating
divorced women talk small1  This Divorced Mom Asks: “Do I Disqualify Men Too Quickly?”

According to my best friend Hali, I do.   Disqualify men too quickly, that is. Over drinks this past weekend, I was telling her about my dating life, when she quickly inserted: “Ummm Delaine…what dating life?” I laughed, rather taken aback. “What do you mean? You know I’m still on a couple of dating sites.”

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Would You Risk Everything For Another Shot at Love?

Posted by Delaine - April 9, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Longing...and Learning, Loving & Trusting, Relationships
6a010536f43000970c01156f160bf2970c 800wi  Would You Risk Everything For Another Shot at Love?

A girlfriend of mine says she’s fallen in love. She’s met him only three times – he lives thousands of miles away in the United States. She now talks of how she plans to move there at the end of the year: she’ll find a new job; move away from her family and friends. Her eyes…

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You’ve PROVEN You Don’t “Need” A Man – NOW what?

Posted by Delaine - March 26, 2009 - Fears & Challenges, Loving & Trusting, Relationships, Support & Girlfriends
black and white side cropped sm  You’ve PROVEN You Don’t “Need” A Man – NOW what?

“You’ve proven you don’t need a man, Delaine.”   My best friend Hali then put her wine glass down on the restaurant table and continued: “So when are you going to stop proving it and move BEYOND it?” I looked at her confused. “What are you talking about?” “You’ve done it Delaine.  You’ve shown everyone that you can…

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Hiding Tears from the Kids: Exhausting…but Necessary

Posted by Delaine - March 14, 2009 - Children, Grief/ Anger, Legal Matters, Single Moms, Surviving
single mom hiding tears1  Hiding Tears from the Kids: Exhausting…but Necessary

A couple of days ago was the perfect example.  I returned home from custody mediation with my ex with obviously red, puffy eyes.  I came inside my house and immediately went downstairs to my office – I didn’t want my preschool daughter to see my puffy face.  But once in the privacy of my office, I sat…

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My Anger Towards Men Speaks: Second Year into my Divorce

Posted by Delaine - March 3, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Healing, Internet Dating, Phases/ Stages
gross guy online divorce 300x251  My Anger Towards Men Speaks: Second Year into my Divorce

Over the past couple of months, men from the dating site, Lavalife, have started asking me the above question. The question comes in various renditions, from a simple “STILL on here, eh?” to “I can’t believe you still haven’t been snatched up!” Time and time again though, my reaction has been the same: to roll…

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Why Must She Doubt Herself Throughout Her Divorce?

Posted by Delaine - February 27, 2009 - Abuse, Dealing with the ex, Surviving
single mom divorced doubt11  Why Must She Doubt Herself Throughout Her Divorce?

Lena, 32,  is grappling right now; her head is swimming, her stomach’s in a knot.  She’s scared, she’s angry with her ex, but above all, she’s frustrated with HERSELF.  Why?  Because she’s still have trouble saying/admitting that her ex-husband behaves like a selfish, immature bully, even though that’s exactly what he is.   She can’t stand thinking this way about anyone; it seems…

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Overwhelmed by Single Parenting & Working Full-Time

Posted by Delaine - February 24, 2009 - Parenting, Single Dads, Single Moms
single mom losing it  Overwhelmed by Single Parenting & Working Full-Time

I feel like I’m going crazy; pushed and pulled in a hundred different directions.  I should have known today would be one of ‘those days’ when at 6:30 a.m., the scream of one my boys getting hurt while wrestling launched me out of bed. Work deadlines loom, my nanny called in sick, my kids’ schedule today is more demanding than most, kripes –…

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Communicating with the Ex: Learn to Bite Your Tongue

Posted by Delaine - February 17, 2009 - Dealing with the ex, Surviving
silence anger divorce  Communicating with the Ex: Learn to Bite Your Tongue

You’re on the phone with your ex, courteously discussing a pending issue related to your kids or your divorce.  Suddenly, ‘it’ happens – his voice turns whiney and he starts singing the ‘poor-me’ blues. Or maybe he throws in an unexpected mean remark.  Or maybe, just maybe, he decides to start venting – and you find you and your character…

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30 Years Ago, Would YOU have had the Courage to Divorce?

Posted by Delaine - February 8, 2009 - Social Barriers & Change, Surviving
scared divorced mom  30 Years Ago, Would YOU have had the Courage to Divorce?

In the year 2000, my mom and Dad got divorced. He left my then 57-year-old mom for another woman. But this wasn’t the first time he’d cheated – his philanderings had begun back in the 70s. “Why didn’t leave him way back then?” I recently asked my mom. “Don’t you wish you had?” “Delaine, it…

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Fairytale Endings: Movies Are Programming My Daughter

Posted by Delaine - January 26, 2009 - Parenting, Single Moms, Social Barriers & Change
little girl eyes small  Fairytale Endings: Movies Are Programming My Daughter

My 4-year-old daughter grabbed my cheeks and put her face up to mine.  I was about to give her a quick kiss when she ordered:” NO mom.  You turn your head that way.”  Her hands were still on my cheeks.  Shocked, I sat there wide-eyed as she planted a VERY long kiss on my lips. …

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Internet Dating: 10 Expert Tips From A Divorced Mom to Get You Started

Posted by Delaine - January 23, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Internet Dating
date  Internet Dating: 10 Expert Tips From A Divorced Mom to Get You Started

When a friend of mine first recommended I try internet dating, a social avenue that hadn’t even existed the last time I was single,I scoffed.  I mean, I’d heard of it, but I assumed it was full of weirdos and creeps.  Nonetheless, curiosity got the better of me – after all, how else was I ever…

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Cheating Spouse: Should You Get REVENGE?

Posted by Delaine - January 15, 2009 - Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Surviving
angry woman small  Cheating Spouse: Should You Get REVENGE?

Keying his car doors.  Burning his clothes.  Emptying his bank account.  Posting photos/ love letters of his affair all over the internet.  Telling his boss and all his friends…   We’ve all heard the expression “Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn.”   Infidelity is one sure way to bring it on.  Betrayal hurts like hell.

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