Tag: depression

Don’t expect to be friends with your ex.  Not at the start anyways.  This is what I wish someone, or many people, had told me at the beginning of my divorce. I’m not saying you should expect to be enemies; no, not at all.  I’m saying you should aim for something in the middle – like a [...]

“Hang tough Delaine – things are going to better.   You really are better without him…” Many, many times I heard these words from girlfriends when I found out my ex was cheating.  I knew they were right, that at some point things HAD to get better.  But while in the throes of my grief, those words felt [...]

I say without shame that over the past two years since divorcing, I’ve felt lows unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.  It wasn’t just because of experiencing infidelity, though that full-body shock and heartbreak was excruciating.  There were also many other kinds of ‘lows’: feelings of emptiness….restlessness… loneliness.  And of course the big one: FEAR. Time and time and time again, I asked [...]

Chaos.  The external components of my life keep shifting…giving way…breaking.  In my mind’s eye I see the support beams of a house built over water, cracking…adjusting…dangling.  Yet I know, I know that that house is ME: my bones, my soul, my reality.  My muscles tense with anger.  I’m gripping, hanging on, protesting.  I am strong, [...]

Divorce can easily feel like a drawn-out death.  And like an actual death, one must not only go through the grief cycle  (bargaining, denial, anger, depression, acceptance) – one must ALSO begin to rebuild.  So today, due to the number of letters I’ve received from people looking for resources, I’m spotlighting two Golden Tools I [...]

You’re on the phone with your ex, courteously discussing a pending issue related to your kids or your divorce.  Suddenly, ‘it’ happens – his voice turns whiney and he starts singing the ‘poor-me’ blues. Or maybe he throws in an unexpected mean remark.  Or maybe, just maybe, he decides to start venting – and you find you and your character [...]