Tag: depression

The #1 Thing I Wish Someone Had Told Me about Divorce

Posted by Delaine - February 1, 2011 - Children, Dealing with the ex, Grief/ Anger
divorce woman man not friends from start1 300x211  The #1 Thing I Wish Someone Had Told Me about Divorce

Don’t expect to be friends with your ex.  Not at the start anyways.  This is what I wish someone, or many people, had told me at the beginning of my divorce. I’m not saying you should expect to be enemies; no, not at all.  I’m saying you should aim for something in the middle – like a…

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Survival Mode: “Existing” Post Infidelity & Divorce

Posted by Delaine - January 19, 2011 - Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Surviving
divorce grief wilderness pa  Survival Mode: “Existing” Post Infidelity & Divorce

“Hang tough Delaine – things are going to better.   You really are better without him…” Many, many times I heard these words from girlfriends when I found out my ex was cheating.  I knew they were right, that at some point things HAD to get better.  But while in the throes of my grief, those words felt…

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Pathways Carved By Sorrow: Working Through Divorce Grief

Posted by Delaine - January 31, 2010 - Grief/ Anger, Healing, Phases/ Stages, Surviving, Wisdom Gained
sorrow sadness divorce  Pathways Carved By Sorrow: Working Through Divorce Grief

I say without shame that over the past two years since divorcing, I’ve felt lows unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.  It wasn’t just because of experiencing infidelity, though that full-body shock and heartbreak was excruciating.  There were also many other kinds of ‘lows’: feelings of emptiness….restlessness… loneliness.  And of course the big one: FEAR. Time and time and time again, I asked…

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A Divorced Mom’s Prayer: May There Be Angels Beneath The Support Beams of My Life

Posted by Delaine - June 23, 2009 - Grief/ Anger, Surviving
divorced family coping 150x150  A Divorced Mom’s Prayer: May There Be Angels Beneath The Support Beams of My Life

Chaos.  The external components of my life keep shifting…giving way…breaking.  In my mind’s eye I see the support beams of a house built over water, cracking…adjusting…dangling.  Yet I know, I know that that house is ME: my bones, my soul, my reality.  My muscles tense with anger.  I’m gripping, hanging on, protesting.  I am strong,…

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Two “Golden Tools” to Help You Mourn & Rebuild After Divorce

Posted by Delaine - March 25, 2009 - Advice, Healing
tools divorce survival construct  Two “Golden Tools” to Help You Mourn & Rebuild After Divorce

Divorce can easily feel like a drawn-out death.  And like an actual death, one must not only go through the grief cycle  (bargaining, denial, anger, depression, acceptance) – one must ALSO begin to rebuild.  So today, due to the number of letters I’ve received from people looking for resources, I’m spotlighting two Golden Tools I…

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Communicating with the Ex: Learn to Bite Your Tongue

Posted by Delaine - February 17, 2009 - Dealing with the ex, Surviving
silence anger divorce  Communicating with the Ex: Learn to Bite Your Tongue

You’re on the phone with your ex, courteously discussing a pending issue related to your kids or your divorce.  Suddenly, ‘it’ happens – his voice turns whiney and he starts singing the ‘poor-me’ blues. Or maybe he throws in an unexpected mean remark.  Or maybe, just maybe, he decides to start venting – and you find you and your character…

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From Little Girl…to Wife…to Divorced Single Mom

Posted by Delaine - January 5, 2009 - Grief/ Anger, Phases/ Stages, Surviving
dee and cyndy cropped 3 fo  From Little Girl…to Wife…to Divorced Single Mom

 Out of the blue, my aunt emailed me this photo tonight.  I’m not posting it because I want you say I look cute.  I’m showing it because it made me burst out crying.     Look at how innocent I was.  My God, the face of an angel with hair so white.  I keep wondering what I was like back then…but I…

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Reflections: I Felt Like a Single Mom While Married, Too

Posted by Delaine - December 20, 2008 - Children, Grief/ Anger, Surviving
winter fence 225x300  Reflections: I Felt Like a Single Mom While Married, Too

I’m not sure why the memories came at me tonight. Perhaps it was the fresh fallen snow and smell in the air that triggered them; Xmas is coming after all. Perhaps it was because my ex moved last weekend to a small town outside Calgary; I know he will now spend even less time with…

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