Tag: DATING & SEX After Divorce

"Friends With Benefits" – A Myth, A Rarity, or A Matter of Luck?

Posted by Delaine - May 18, 2015 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
friends with benefits  "Friends With Benefits" – A Myth, A Rarity, or A Matter of Luck?

From Year Two Post-Divorce When my best friend Hali and I found ourselves newly separated and back out in the dating trenches, we kept hearing the term “Friends With Benefits.”   We both liked the sound of it and decided it was something we wanted.  After all, we weren’t ready for serious, but we wanted to have sex.  Thus a sexual…

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Beware the Loose, Wrinkly, Lopsided Vulva!

Posted by Delaine - September 5, 2011 - Career & Money, Concerns & Fears, Dating & Sex, Loving The Skin You're In, Women's Sexuality
wrinkly ugly unacceptable vagina vulva  Beware the Loose, Wrinkly, Lopsided Vulva!

So apparently the look and feel of our vulvas/vaginas are one more thing we’re to concern ouserlves with as we reconstruct our lives and selves after divorce. Haven’t you heard?  We’re supposed to be as pretty and symmetrical as a text-book drawing.  Are you a little one-sided?  Stretched out?  Perhaps a little dangly?

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Seven Reasons Why I Like To Date Divorced Men

Posted by Delaine - January 16, 2011 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
cute divorced dad with son  Seven Reasons Why I Like To Date Divorced Men

When I was younger (and thought I knew it all), I found it a total turn-off if a man told me he was divorced.  Immediately, I thought “failure”, “tainted,” and “person-with-luggage.” But today, as I wade through the sea of men on dating sites, I find I’ve done a 360 – I actually gravitate more…

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Women’s Sexuality: A Starting Point or End Point for Learning?

Posted by Delaine - June 22, 2010 - Dating & Sex, Longing...and Learning, Women's Sexuality
naked back womens sexuality  Women’s Sexuality: A Starting Point or End Point for Learning?

My head is off is left field this morning, pondering women’s sexuality. I know – a complicated topic. But this is what I’m trying to figure out: Does a woman’s sexuality ripple into other areas of her life? Is her sexuality, in fact, a metaphor in motion for her behaviour and conduct in her work…

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Dear Younger Men: I’m no “MILF”. You’re the “SMILF!”

Posted by Delaine - January 30, 2010 - Cougars & Single Moms, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
young man yum small  Dear Younger Men: I’m no “MILF”. You’re the “SMILF!”

Since becoming single again this past year, I’ve been called a ‘Cougar’ – which I hate, and a MILF.  When I discovered MILF stood for “Mother I’d Like to F***”, I laughed.  Though some might find it offensive, I found it rather endearing:  I imagined these luscious, muscley young men looking at me with awe and…

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Mr Right Will Be a Man Who ‘Earns’ Me

Posted by Delaine - November 19, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Longing...and Learning, Loving & Trusting, Relationships, Understanding Men/Women
earn divorced woman 200x300  Mr Right Will Be a Man Who ‘Earns’ Me

Recently I wrote an article about how the phrase ,”I need a man who challenges me’, carried negative imagery and feelings for me.  It reminded me of my younger-day yearnings for Bad Boys (who did me no good) and,  as a few girlfriends pointed out,  had a tone of  ‘relationship management’ around it. Soon after writing…

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Dating After Divorce: When You’re A Chameleon, How Do You Know What ‘Type’ You Like?

Posted by Delaine - October 13, 2009 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating, Longing...and Learning
chameleon woman divorced  Dating After Divorce: When You’re A Chameleon, How Do You Know What ‘Type’ You Like?

As I continue to wade through the vast sea of online dating, I find myself feeling impatient with myself.  Not because I want a man pronto, but because I’m STILL not sure what ‘type’ of man I like.  And I wonder, Did I get a chameleon chromosone at birth?  Or do I simply have no idea what…

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Simple-Minded, Piggish Men Aren’t Born That Way?

Posted by Delaine - August 7, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Understanding Men/Women
men acting like a jerk towards women  Simple-Minded, Piggish Men Aren’t Born That Way?

I’ve heard it said that most men are ‘simple’ creatures.  They love ‘T’ and ‘A’ and think about women’s orifices many times a day.  They don’t like drama queens or control freaks.  They want women to laugh at their jokes.  And NOTHING, I mean NOTHING brings them greater joy than a great blow job first thing in…

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Did My Date Just Stare at the Server’s Butt?

Posted by Delaine - May 19, 2009 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
6a010536f43000970c011570939478970b 800wi  Did My Date Just Stare at the Server’s Butt?

When I’m out on a first date with a man, I pay attention to how my date treats the server.  I notice: Is he friendly? Does he use good manners? And, if the server is grumpy, how does he deal with it?

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Loving…Without Attachment: A Prescription for Hurting Hearts?

Posted by Delaine - May 8, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Healing, Longing...and Learning, Wisdom Gained
love without attach 199x300  Loving…Without Attachment: A Prescription for Hurting Hearts?

Laughing. Making love. Holding. Pillow talking…   No, I’m not fantasizing about falling in love again.   I’m imagining what it would be like to experience a weekend of ‘love without attachment.’ 

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He Was “Concerned” About my Body Since I’m A Mom

Posted by Delaine - May 4, 2009 - Concerns & Fears, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating
divorced mom dating annoying men online  He Was “Concerned” About my Body Since I’m A Mom

We had just started chatting via Instant Messenger. Conversation was flowing nicely. Friendly, polite, he had good spelling (which I look for) .  And THEN… Then I told him I have three kids. A pause. A really long pause. Then his ‘probing’ began.

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DANGER: Five Kinds of Separated Men to Avoid

Posted by Delaine - May 1, 2009 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
separated man date3  DANGER: Five Kinds of Separated Men to Avoid

“Should I avoid dating separated men?”  This is a valid question many women have asked me since divorcing.  After all, what if these guys are rebounding?  What if they still have heavy emotional issues to work through?   At the end of the day, do these guys pose a greater risk to a woman’s heart? I personally think  every man…

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Dating After Divorce: Is a ‘Spark” Necessary?

Posted by Delaine - April 27, 2009 - Cougars & Single Moms, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
spark nice guy dating2  Dating After Divorce: Is a ‘Spark” Necessary?

He was sooooo nice.  So very, very nice.  Well-spoken… mature… a fun personality.  And I really did enjoy talking to him. But I felt no spark;  I just wasn’t attracted to him.  Not just physically, but energetically. He wanted to meet me for a second date.  I really didnt want to…but again, I went over his very nice qualities.  “He’s…

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This Divorced Mom Asks: “Do I Disqualify Men Too Quickly?”

Posted by Delaine - April 17, 2009 - Concerns & Fears, Cougars & Single Moms, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating
divorced women talk small1  This Divorced Mom Asks: “Do I Disqualify Men Too Quickly?”

According to my best friend Hali, I do.   Disqualify men too quickly, that is. Over drinks this past weekend, I was telling her about my dating life, when she quickly inserted: “Ummm Delaine…what dating life?” I laughed, rather taken aback. “What do you mean? You know I’m still on a couple of dating sites.”

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Friends with Benefits: One Step Closer

Posted by Delaine - April 6, 2009 - Between the Sheets, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
friends with benefits1  Friends with Benefits: One Step Closer

Recently I wrote an article about the concept of  ‘friends with benefits,” and how, even though it sounded good in theory, I was skeptical if  could translate into real life for most people. This past weekend, however, I think I got a few steps closer to having such a relationship. How?  It was simple actually: I just came right out…

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The Internet – A Quick Way for Wives & Husbands to Cheat

Posted by Delaine - March 22, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Infidelity, Internet Dating, Social Barriers & Change
cheating spouse wife sex1  The Internet – A Quick Way for Wives & Husbands to Cheat

Good Morning America recently featured a report on cheating wives.  And two things about this news-clip stood out for me:  one, how society still ‘gasps’ when its women who are choosing to have affairs.  And two, how the internet is making cheating so easy.  According to adultery expert, Bonnie Weil, an estimated 50-62% of married women cheat.  And admittedly, I…

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My Anger Towards Men Speaks: Second Year into my Divorce

Posted by Delaine - March 3, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Healing, Internet Dating, Phases/ Stages
gross guy online divorce 300x251  My Anger Towards Men Speaks: Second Year into my Divorce

Over the past couple of months, men from the dating site, Lavalife, have started asking me the above question. The question comes in various renditions, from a simple “STILL on here, eh?” to “I can’t believe you still haven’t been snatched up!” Time and time again though, my reaction has been the same: to roll…

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Internet Dating: 10 Expert Tips From A Divorced Mom to Get You Started

Posted by Delaine - January 23, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Internet Dating
date  Internet Dating: 10 Expert Tips From A Divorced Mom to Get You Started

When a friend of mine first recommended I try internet dating, a social avenue that hadn’t even existed the last time I was single,I scoffed.  I mean, I’d heard of it, but I assumed it was full of weirdos and creeps.  Nonetheless, curiosity got the better of me – after all, how else was I ever…

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