Tag: dating after divorce

"Friends With Benefits" – A Myth, A Rarity, or A Matter of Luck?

Posted by Delaine - May 18, 2015 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
friends with benefits  "Friends With Benefits" – A Myth, A Rarity, or A Matter of Luck?

From Year Two Post-Divorce When my best friend Hali and I found ourselves newly separated and back out in the dating trenches, we kept hearing the term “Friends With Benefits.”   We both liked the sound of it and decided it was something we wanted.  After all, we weren’t ready for serious, but we wanted to have sex.  Thus a sexual…

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Hello God? It’s Me, Delaine. Can You PLEASE Somehow End This Date?

Posted by Delaine - January 20, 2015 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
bad date get me out of here  Hello God? It’s Me, Delaine. Can You PLEASE Somehow End This Date?

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Year four post-divorce His comments caught me totally off guard: We were out on our second date – me and this handsome, charming, 42-year-old divorced businessman. The Indian food we’d eaten was excellent, as was the conversation we’d shared: satisfying…delicious…with just enough ’spice.’  And as we sat there finishing up the last drops of our red wine, I…

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Loving Again After Divorce: I Admit It – I’m Afraid

Posted by Delaine - March 25, 2014 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Healing, Longing...and Learning, Loving & Trusting, Phases/ Stages, Relationships
divorce fear of love1  Loving Again After Divorce: I Admit It – I’m Afraid

From year two post-divorce… A close male friend of mine, one whose opinion I value greatly, keeps telling me:  Gypsy (his nickname for me), you are so afraid to fall in love.  You’ve built walls to protect yourself and keep men out, but you must be careful not to become your own prisoner. Immediately I…

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Thoughts on the “Next Serious Relationship” After Divorce

Posted by Delaine - January 10, 2014 - Blended & Changing Families, Fears & Challenges, Loving & Trusting, Making It Work, Relationships
serious relationship after divorce 300x153  Thoughts on the “Next Serious Relationship” After Divorce

The title of this blog may be a bit misleading.  Cause I don’t want to talk in a professional  tone or way about the “next serious relationship” after divorce.  I want to talk about mine. That’s right.  MY next serious relationship.  I had one for over 20 months.  And I never told you anything about…

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“I Love You”: To Say or Not to Say

Posted by Delaine - January 24, 2012 - Fears & Challenges, Longing...and Learning, Loving & Trusting, Phases/ Stages, Relationships
man woman i love you after divorce2 300x201  “I Love You”: To Say or Not to Say

Thinking back to my twenties, I remember I said the words “I love you” very soon in my relationships with men.  The “love feelings” would overwhelm me: the closeness, the intimacy, the peace of feeling cared for and apart from the rest of the world.  The warmth and power of these feelings would fill my chest, sometimes to the…

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Divorced Women: Do You Have a Role Model From A Different Generation?

Posted by Delaine - September 25, 2011 - Midlife Divorce, Social Barriers & Change, Support & Girlfriends
mother daughter divorced1  Divorced Women: Do You Have a Role Model From A Different Generation?

At 66 years old, my mom is a real firecracker. This woman has so much energy, she makes 20 year olds look like slugs.  But much more than that, mom is confident.  She’s generous beyond belief.  She’s sexy.  Has taken great care of herself.  And she spends her days either working 10 hour shifts in the hospital or…

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Putting your children’s best interests first while dating.

Posted by Delaine - January 25, 2011 - Children, Concerns & Fears, Dating & Sex, Surviving
divorce mom sexy date again  Putting your children’s best interests first while dating.

Written by Deborah Moskovitch.   Children often have difficulty with a divorced parent’s first move into the dating world. Many children, no matter how old, fantasize about mommy and daddy getting back together and becoming part of one big happy family again. While deep down your children know thier fantasy will likely not become a reality,…

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My New Bedtime Fantasy

Posted by Delaine - January 16, 2011 - From the Dating Trenches, Making It Work, Midlife Divorce, Relationships
divorced man bed sex fantasy  My New Bedtime Fantasy

Contributed by Peter Ehrlich. I want to talk about my newest, ongoing, “driving me forward” bedtime fantasy.  This twisted new fantasy is the new fuel that has launched me to join yet another dating site and contact virtually every single woman between the ages of 42 and 52.  I can go to any dating site…

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They Just Weren’t That Into Me!

Posted by Delaine - December 16, 2010 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Understanding Men/Women
not that into me  They Just Weren’t That Into Me!

I read the book and last night, I saw the movie. And “He’s Just Not That Into You” clearly revealed how I’d kept my head WAYYYYY up in the clouds when it came to men – my ex-husband included. Time and time and time again, throughout my dating and married life, I have made excuse after…

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Relationship Warning: Do You See His Potential or Who He REALLY Is?

Posted by Delaine - August 31, 2010 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, From the Dating Trenches, Loving & Trusting, Relationships, Understanding Men/Women
infatuated mans potential  Relationship Warning: Do You See His Potential or Who He REALLY Is?

It’s been three and a half years since my ex-husband and I split up.  And since then, despite the many dates and mini-relationships I’ve had, I’m still single.  But I don’t think of this as being a ‘bad’ thing ; I think I’ve needed this time – to heal, to grow, to like myself more…and to get a much stronger…

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Dating Adventure: It really is ironic…don’t you think?

Posted by Delaine - August 9, 2010 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating
irony amelia delayne1  Dating Adventure: It really is ironic…don’t you think?

So I spent the wee hours of last Monday night having a ‘private party’ with just me, a bottle of wine, and Alanis Morrisette.  Of course, she was just playing on youtube… but I’ll tell you, the music from her album, Jagged Little Pill, sure did hit the spot  – especially the song, Ironic.  For you see, further…

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Woman Under Tranformation: Black Clothes Spell “Blah”

Posted by Delaine - January 14, 2010 - Fashion & Flare, Fashion Tips
black aging dull skin 150x150  Woman Under Tranformation: Black Clothes Spell “Blah”

Like most women, I’m guilty of it too – that is, I often wear black clothes simply because they’re slimming.  And when we feel slimmer, we often feel better about ourselves, right?  But what if wearing black next to our faces makes our eyes look dull and our skin blotchy and shadowy?   In other words, what if black on most of us,…

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Dating After Divorce: When You’re A Chameleon, How Do You Know What ‘Type’ You Like?

Posted by Delaine - October 13, 2009 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating, Longing...and Learning
chameleon woman divorced  Dating After Divorce: When You’re A Chameleon, How Do You Know What ‘Type’ You Like?

As I continue to wade through the vast sea of online dating, I find myself feeling impatient with myself.  Not because I want a man pronto, but because I’m STILL not sure what ‘type’ of man I like.  And I wonder, Did I get a chameleon chromosone at birth?  Or do I simply have no idea what…

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The Dating Gloom & Doom Bandwagon

Posted by Delaine - October 6, 2009 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Longing...and Learning, Support & Girlfriends
dating gloom doom1  The Dating Gloom & Doom Bandwagon

During a 24-hour period last week, I heard three gloomy outlooks on dating from three different women in their late thirties or early forties. The first was a doctor, never married, no kids.  She said the men in her age bracket all seemed to want a woman to “look after them.”  And male doctors and successful…

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Your Dating Life Can Mirror Lessons from Your Marriage: Look Closely

Posted by Delaine - September 17, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Healing, Longing...and Learning, Phases/ Stages, Wisdom Gained
divorced woman looking in mirror dating  Your Dating Life Can Mirror Lessons from Your Marriage: Look Closely

My girlfriend’s dating life is VERY busy. And I salute her for that. Almost two years out of an emotionally abusive marriage, we concurred that her rushing into a committed relationship would be dangerous: she’d probably end up with a bully again and/or losing herself in another man instead of exploring and discovering her own…

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Relationships: Do Women Need ‘Deeper’ Men?

Posted by Delaine - July 20, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Longing...and Learning, Relationships
what women want in men  Relationships: Do Women Need ‘Deeper’ Men?

A divorcing girlfriend of mine is dating a man who, externally, seems to have it all – good looks, wealth, the trimmings. And inwardly, there’s no denying he is a good, decent man. Together, they seem to make good ‘partners,’ going places, doing projects, having fun… Recently, however, she confessed: “On some deeper level, we…

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Online Dating: Do Predators Go After Single Moms?

Posted by Delaine - June 1, 2009 - Concerns & Fears, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
online dating wacko predato1  Online Dating: Do Predators Go After Single Moms?

It was my greatest fear when I began online dating: that a child predator would feign interest in me in order to get to my kids.  And today, though I’m much more comfortable with this medium, AND, I’ve still never introduced a man to my children, it’s always at the back of my mind. According…

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Why the Lure of Tall, Dark & Handsome?

Posted by Delaine - May 7, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Understanding Men/Women, Women's Sexuality
dark handsome man sexual attraction  Why the Lure of Tall, Dark & Handsome?

Are you often drawn to a certain kind of man/woman because of certain physical qualities?  Guys, we often hear about your common love of  curves.  And ladies, what about the lure of tall, dark and handsome?  (I’m waving my hand here – I’m a sucker for that dark mystique!) According to evolutionary biologist Sharon Moalem, author of…

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He Was “Concerned” About my Body Since I’m A Mom

Posted by Delaine - May 4, 2009 - Concerns & Fears, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating
divorced mom dating annoying men online  He Was “Concerned” About my Body Since I’m A Mom

We had just started chatting via Instant Messenger. Conversation was flowing nicely. Friendly, polite, he had good spelling (which I look for) .  And THEN… Then I told him I have three kids. A pause. A really long pause. Then his ‘probing’ began.

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DANGER: Five Kinds of Separated Men to Avoid

Posted by Delaine - May 1, 2009 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
separated man date3  DANGER: Five Kinds of Separated Men to Avoid

“Should I avoid dating separated men?”  This is a valid question many women have asked me since divorcing.  After all, what if these guys are rebounding?  What if they still have heavy emotional issues to work through?   At the end of the day, do these guys pose a greater risk to a woman’s heart? I personally think  every man…

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