Tag: anger

When Divorced Girlfriends Offend: Too Quick to Criticize Love & Men?

Posted by Delaine - October 23, 2012 - Fears & Challenges, Loving & Trusting, Making It Work, Midlife Divorce, Relationships, Social Barriers & Change, Support & Girlfriends, Surviving
good intentions divorced girlfriends hurt  When Divorced Girlfriends Offend: Too Quick to Criticize Love & Men?

Recently a divorced woman named Sue found herself in a “gross” conversation with her divorced griflriends.  Not “gross” as in the subject matter was lude or disgusting; rather, the conversation left her feeling gross.  For  somehow, her friends’ conversation had shifted to her relationship with her boyfriend –  and as she put it, “It was like […]

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The #1 Thing I Wish Someone Had Told Me about Divorce

Posted by Delaine - February 1, 2011 - Children, Dealing with the ex, Grief/ Anger
divorce woman man not friends from start1 300x211  The #1 Thing I Wish Someone Had Told Me about Divorce

Don’t expect to be friends with your ex.  Not at the start anyways.  This is what I wish someone, or many people, had told me at the beginning of my divorce. I’m not saying you should expect to be enemies; no, not at all.  I’m saying you should aim for something in the middle – like a […]

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Survival Mode: “Existing” Post Infidelity & Divorce

Posted by Delaine - January 19, 2011 - Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Surviving
divorce grief wilderness pa  Survival Mode: “Existing” Post Infidelity & Divorce

“Hang tough Delaine – things are going to better.   You really are better without him…” Many, many times I heard these words from girlfriends when I found out my ex was cheating.  I knew they were right, that at some point things HAD to get better.  But while in the throes of my grief, those words felt […]

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Emotional Awareness: Tips For Dealing with Anger During Divorce

Posted by Delaine - January 1, 2011 - Grief/ Anger, Surviving
divorced woman anger tips  Emotional Awareness: Tips For Dealing with Anger During Divorce

Anger is a stage in grief and divorce recovery. Honoring your anger is important as long as it isn’t damaging to you and those you love. Learning how to handle anger in productive and healthy ways is very important to your recovery and your mental health. Don’t hold your anger in or think that anger […]

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Advice to Those Betrayed: Stop Comparing Yourself To ‘HER’

Posted by Delaine - July 13, 2010 - Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Support & Girlfriends
other woman mistress self esteem1  Advice to Those Betrayed: Stop Comparing Yourself To ‘HER’

Recently, I sat with my emotionally devastated friend Maddie who had just discovered her husband was having an affair.   Why?  When?  How?  Now what?  her brain raced to answer, as she felt her family dream falling to the ground in slow motion. But it didn’t take long for her to start doing what most of us women do when affairs […]

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Her Ex-Husband is a Bully – and Her Kids Now Bear the Brunt End of It

Posted by Delaine - September 9, 2009 - Abuse, Children, Co-Parenting, Parenting, Single Dads, Surviving
bully ex divorced mom kids  Her Ex-Husband is a Bully – and Her Kids Now Bear the Brunt End of It

Her ex was at her house doing pick up of their kids the past weekend when it happened. She and her three kids were over at the school yard finishing a quick game of soccer in the snow. Suddenly, her eldest son, now eight, tripped her daughter by accident. “Kyle,” she said to him, “You have to avoid […]

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POWER: A Scary Reason Why Some Exes Bow Out On Time With Their Kids

Posted by Delaine - September 3, 2009 - Abuse, Children, Co-Parenting, Dealing with the ex, Parenting, Surviving, Trying to Get Along
ex abuse power  POWER: A Scary Reason Why Some Exes Bow Out On Time With Their Kids

Does this scenario rings any bells? Sue is the primary caregiver of her two children.  Her ex, Brian, is a part-time dad who pays child support and takes the kids every second weekend and one evening/week.  When they first got separated, Brian was very concerned about his limited access to the kids; he wanted them […]

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A Divorced Mom’s Prayer: May There Be Angels Beneath The Support Beams of My Life

Posted by Delaine - June 23, 2009 - Grief/ Anger, Surviving
divorced family coping 150x150  A Divorced Mom’s Prayer: May There Be Angels Beneath The Support Beams of My Life

Chaos.  The external components of my life keep shifting…giving way…breaking.  In my mind’s eye I see the support beams of a house built over water, cracking…adjusting…dangling.  Yet I know, I know that that house is ME: my bones, my soul, my reality.  My muscles tense with anger.  I’m gripping, hanging on, protesting.  I am strong, […]

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Two “Golden Tools” to Help You Mourn & Rebuild After Divorce

Posted by Delaine - March 25, 2009 - Advice, Healing
tools divorce survival construct  Two “Golden Tools” to Help You Mourn & Rebuild After Divorce

Divorce can easily feel like a drawn-out death.  And like an actual death, one must not only go through the grief cycle  (bargaining, denial, anger, depression, acceptance) – one must ALSO begin to rebuild.  So today, due to the number of letters I’ve received from people looking for resources, I’m spotlighting two Golden Tools I […]

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Passion, Anger & A BeeBopping Minivan

Posted by Delaine - March 5, 2009 - Grief/ Anger, Surviving
6a010536f43000970c0112791aba7628a4 800wi  Passion, Anger & A BeeBopping Minivan

Wow. OK. So get this:  I’d just spent a half-hour talking to my lawyer around a flaming issue between me and my ex. Under her counsel, I then wrote my ex an email (with shaking hands), and fired it off just in time to race out the door: I had to pick up my daughter […]

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My Anger Towards Men Speaks: Second Year into my Divorce

Posted by Delaine - March 3, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Healing, Internet Dating, Phases/ Stages
gross guy online divorce 300x251  My Anger Towards Men Speaks: Second Year into my Divorce

Over the past couple of months, men from the dating site, Lavalife, have started asking me the above question. The question comes in various renditions, from a simple “STILL on here, eh?” to “I can’t believe you still haven’t been snatched up!” Time and time again though, my reaction has been the same: to roll […]

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Why Must She Doubt Herself Throughout Her Divorce?

Posted by Delaine - February 27, 2009 - Abuse, Dealing with the ex, Surviving
single mom divorced doubt11  Why Must She Doubt Herself Throughout Her Divorce?

Lena, 32,  is grappling right now; her head is swimming, her stomach’s in a knot.  She’s scared, she’s angry with her ex, but above all, she’s frustrated with HERSELF.  Why?  Because she’s still have trouble saying/admitting that her ex-husband behaves like a selfish, immature bully, even though that’s exactly what he is.   She can’t stand thinking this way about anyone; it seems […]

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Communicating with the Ex: Learn to Bite Your Tongue

Posted by Delaine - February 17, 2009 - Dealing with the ex, Surviving
silence anger divorce  Communicating with the Ex: Learn to Bite Your Tongue

You’re on the phone with your ex, courteously discussing a pending issue related to your kids or your divorce.  Suddenly, ‘it’ happens – his voice turns whiney and he starts singing the ‘poor-me’ blues. Or maybe he throws in an unexpected mean remark.  Or maybe, just maybe, he decides to start venting – and you find you and your character […]

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Cheating Spouse: Should You Get REVENGE?

Posted by Delaine - January 15, 2009 - Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Surviving
angry woman small  Cheating Spouse: Should You Get REVENGE?

Keying his car doors.  Burning his clothes.  Emptying his bank account.  Posting photos/ love letters of his affair all over the internet.  Telling his boss and all his friends…   We’ve all heard the expression “Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn.”   Infidelity is one sure way to bring it on.  Betrayal hurts like hell.

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