Tag: The Secret Life of A Newly Single Mom: A One-Year Memoir of Finding Sex & Satisfaction after Divorce

Why Women Get Divorced!

Posted by Delaine - May 8, 2011 - Deciding to Stay or Go, Support & Girlfriends, Surviving
Why Women Get Divorced why women divorce coach potato husband2  Why Women Get Divorced!

At some in a relationship or marriage, we sit across from our partner and wonder where the romance and passion went… Remember back when he’d wine and dine you and go the extra mile just to see you smile? How he was keen to only put that best foot forward, and how special you felt…

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Shielding Your Kids From “The Heat” of Divorce

Posted by Delaine - December 28, 2010 - Children, Co-Parenting, Dealing with the ex, Parenting, Surviving, Trying to Get Along
hot headed divorce issues1  Shielding Your Kids From “The Heat” of Divorce

Studies have shown that it’s the ongoing hostilities between divorcing parents that really emotionally damage and traumatize children.   So how do you protect your children’s emotional well-being if divorce matters are in the Red Zone, the two of you aren’t speaking, and you can’t even stand being in the same building as him/her? You may ‘know’ you should smile and talk civilly and put…

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Resentment: Molten Lava In One’s Bones

Posted by Delaine - December 1, 2010 - Advice, Grief/ Anger, Healing, Surviving
resentment molten lava 300x197  Resentment: Molten Lava In One’s Bones

At three and a half years into my divorce, I no longer feel like I’m mourning my marriage.  The grief, the fear, the heartache of betrayal  – they lie behind me now, serving as sources of strength and wisdom, not pain.  But getting over my marriage is one thing, getting over my ex’s behavior during our divorce is another. …

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“Ex” – An Ugly Little Word?

Posted by Delaine - October 6, 2010 - Dealing with the ex, Parenting, Single Dads, Single Moms, Social Barriers & Change, Surviving
ex huaband ex wife word ex divorce  “Ex” – An Ugly Little Word?

“EX-husband,”  “EX-wife,”  “The EX.”   The term “ex” is one we all use after divorce, in both our written and oral communications.  It’s something we don’t  give much thought to either – it’s just part of the English language, right?  But have you ever noticed how you feel when say it?   What about when someone ELSE uses it in conversation?  Cause…

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Stop, Hey – What’s That Sound? Unresolved Legal Issues Pulling You Down…

Posted by Delaine - December 24, 2009 - Children, Legal Matters, Surviving
divorce affidavit1  Stop, Hey – What’s That Sound? Unresolved Legal Issues Pulling You Down…

I’m not a divorce lawyer.  But I’m a divorce expert in my own rite.  And now that I’m two years into my divorce, there’s one golden nugget of advice I’d like to pass onto those newly divorcing:  Get EVERYTHING down in writing – signed, sealed and wrapped up – otherwise, there’s a good chance you’ll be postponing the inevitable…

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Choices or Sacrifices? Which Do Divorced Moms Make?

Posted by Delaine - December 10, 2009 - Career & Money, Career Growth & Change, Parenting, Single Dads, Single Moms, Social Barriers & Change
woman clouds smaller  Choices or Sacrifices? Which Do Divorced Moms Make?

Many months ago,  during a deep conversation with my Good Man – a handsome, young widower who continues to restore my faith in men –  we began talking about ’sacrifices’ and ‘choices.’  Or rather, I was rambling on about how I think women make sacrifices when they become wives and mothers – when he cut me off.  “Do you really think of…

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Worries Of A Divorcing Mom: Am I Doing ‘Enough’?

Posted by Delaine - December 10, 2009 - Children, Parenting, Single Moms, Surviving
worried divorced mom enough  Worries Of A Divorcing Mom: Am I Doing ‘Enough’?

Even when I was married, I sometimes worried that I wasn’t doing ‘enough’ for my kids: Should they be involved in more activities or less? Am I too strict or not strict enough? Am I doing, saying, showing my kids enough of whatever they need to feel loved and special? We only get one shot…

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Needing To Date “Challenging” Men – “Good” or “Bad” Tendency?

Posted by Delaine - November 5, 2009 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Longing...and Learning, Support & Girlfriends
dating sex challenge  Needing To Date “Challenging” Men – “Good” or “Bad” Tendency?

We’ve all heard the expression being thrown around in the dating realm: “He/she needs a challenge.”  Maybe it’s even something you’ve said aloud yourself.  But recent conversations I’ve shared with various girlfriends has me wondering: Do we need to thoughtfully consider what this expression really means to us, especially now that we’re starting over?  Does ‘needing a challenge’ look…

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The Ex-Husband May Not Be as Financially Destitute as he Laments…

Posted by Delaine - October 19, 2009 - Dealing with the ex, Legal Matters, Surviving
divorced man buys house  The Ex-Husband May Not Be as Financially Destitute as he Laments…

They’ve been apart now for three years. Their divorce only became official a few months ago. And I swear to God, no word of a lie, he has lamented over how broke he is ever since they separated. But the other day, my best friend Hali, now his ex-wife, shocked me by blurting: “Guess who…

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Her Ex-Husband is a Bully – and Her Kids Now Bear the Brunt End of It

Posted by Delaine - September 9, 2009 - Abuse, Children, Co-Parenting, Parenting, Single Dads, Surviving
bully ex divorced mom kids  Her Ex-Husband is a Bully – and Her Kids Now Bear the Brunt End of It

Her ex was at her house doing pick up of their kids the past weekend when it happened. She and her three kids were over at the school yard finishing a quick game of soccer in the snow. Suddenly, her eldest son, now eight, tripped her daughter by accident. “Kyle,” she said to him, “You have to avoid…

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New Relationship Consideration: Would You Have Another Baby?

Posted by Delaine - June 6, 2009 - Fears & Challenges, Relationships
divorced mom pregnant  New Relationship Consideration: Would You Have Another Baby?

I gave birth to three kids in three years and I can honestly say their early years were a blur to me; life was INSANE.  And since divorcing I’ve sworn I wouldn’t have another child.  “This body now belongs to ME,” I’ve joked with my girlfriends.  The other day, however, a girlfriend asked me, “Then…

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Would You Risk Everything For Another Shot at Love?

Posted by Delaine - April 9, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Longing...and Learning, Loving & Trusting, Relationships
6a010536f43000970c01156f160bf2970c 800wi  Would You Risk Everything For Another Shot at Love?

A girlfriend of mine says she’s fallen in love. She’s met him only three times – he lives thousands of miles away in the United States. She now talks of how she plans to move there at the end of the year: she’ll find a new job; move away from her family and friends. Her eyes…

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You’ve PROVEN You Don’t “Need” A Man – NOW what?

Posted by Delaine - March 26, 2009 - Fears & Challenges, Loving & Trusting, Relationships, Support & Girlfriends
black and white side cropped sm  You’ve PROVEN You Don’t “Need” A Man – NOW what?

“You’ve proven you don’t need a man, Delaine.”   My best friend Hali then put her wine glass down on the restaurant table and continued: “So when are you going to stop proving it and move BEYOND it?” I looked at her confused. “What are you talking about?” “You’ve done it Delaine.  You’ve shown everyone that you can…

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