Dear Younger Men: I’m no “MILF”. You’re the “SMILF!”
Since becoming single again this past year, I’ve been called a ‘Cougar’ – which I hate, and a MILF. When I discovered MILF stood for “Mother I’d Like to F***”, I laughed. Though some might find it offensive, I found it rather endearing: I imagined these luscious, muscley young men looking at me with awe and innocence in their eyes. How cute they wanted a ‘teacher.’ *grin.
As my dating adventures continued, I crossed into “Young-Man Territory” a few times. Mentally, I found these relationships very limited – we weren’t on the same page of life whatsoever. But physically, mmmmm… that was another story. Not only did they have stamina and the ‘look’ to keep me afire, they had a willingness to please, to learn, and become a better lover.
And then one day a question struck me: Why do men have cute nicknames for women like MILF and we don’t have any for men? Are we too polite? Have we lost our sense of humor when it comes to sex? Or is the title ‘boyfriend’ or ‘husband’ all we’re comfortable with?
I then began rethinking the word MILF – for some reason it was bugging me. Digging deeper I realized it was because it made the man into the Hunter and the woman into the Prey. And in my young man relationships, that was NOT the dynamic: THEY were the prey, and I was the HUNTRESS.
From that day forward I thus proclaimed a new honorary name for these delightful specimens of flesh: SMILF – Service Male I’d Like To F***. It reverses the power scheme AND it sounds cute, kind of like an adorable little smurf.
But WAIT! Hold your horses. Not just ANY man can become a SMILF; this is high-status stuff, something that must be earned. Three primary criteria must be met:
1) At LEAST one orgasm must go to the woman before him during every encounter
2) If any extra large ejaculation occurs on the woman’s part, he will change the sheets without fuss, and
3) NO SMALL PENISES ARE ALLOWED.
God love you SMILFS.
15 comments
I LOVE this post! Your right – we DO take sex too seriously and we need to have a laugh. Laughter is the best medecine for us women and yet we are soooo polite. I’ll be using the word SMILF over coffee with my girlfriends!
Great job Delaine!
Wow, I like this site. You certainly are fiesty and provocative. What about the nickname D.I.L.F.
Don’t forget the single dads out there. They are often more understanding having gone through similiar circumstances. They are generally caring to children and realise your children are your number one priority. Do not forget us when you’ve tired of playing with the toy boys.
P.S. I am a SMILF/DILF
Hear my story at http://www.singleparentsuniversity.com
I LOVE this post! Your right – we DO take sex too seriously and we need to have a laugh. Laughter is the best medecine for us women and yet we are soooo polite. I’ll be using the word SMILF over coffee with my girlfriends!
Great job Delaine!
Wow, I like this site. You certainly are fiesty and provocative. What about the nickname D.I.L.F.
Don’t forget the single dads out there. They are often more understanding having gone through similiar circumstances. They are generally caring to children and realise your children are your number one priority. Do not forget us when you’ve tired of playing with the toy boys.
P.S. I am a SMILF/DILF
Hear my story at http://www.singleparentsuniversity.com
lol lol I like your 3 criteria’s on being called a SMILF..
I guess I fit the category lol lol.
So now I am your first official SMILF.
I guess I will start spreading the new name for us SMILF’S..Have a beautiful weekend Delaine and God bless you and your kids xoxo.
lol lol I like your 3 criteria’s on being called a SMILF..
I guess I fit the category lol lol.
So now I am your first official SMILF.
I guess I will start spreading the new name for us SMILF’S..Have a beautiful weekend Delaine and God bless you and your kids xoxo.
Ah, but Tony, the SMILF title is decided by the SMILF huntress, not self-allocated! LOL I’m glad you found the article amusing, cause I know many men would find it offensive. But truly, it’s good for us women to share a laugh and lighten up – we’re taught to take dating and sex SOOOOO seriously!
You have a great weekend too Tony:)
Delaine
Ah, but Tony, the SMILF title is decided by the SMILF huntress, not self-allocated! LOL I’m glad you found the article amusing, cause I know many men would find it offensive. But truly, it’s good for us women to share a laugh and lighten up – we’re taught to take dating and sex SOOOOO seriously!
You have a great weekend too Tony:)
Delaine
SMILF! I think you’re on to something here. But wait…. at my age I’m encountering GILF’s. Yeah that’s right, GRANDMOTHERS! And let me tell you, the lovin’ doesn’t stop in the 40′s or even after 50. I’ve been with women from 24 to 59 since this divorce, and the older ones are way ahead of the young ones in bed!
SMILF! I think you’re on to something here. But wait…. at my age I’m encountering GILF’s. Yeah that’s right, GRANDMOTHERS! And let me tell you, the lovin’ doesn’t stop in the 40′s or even after 50. I’ve been with women from 24 to 59 since this divorce, and the older ones are way ahead of the young ones in bed!
Ha! This is great. I personally don’t understand why women get offended by the MILF term. I suppose some feel objectified. But it’s how guys think – we either want to have sex with a woman or not. All the emotional connection makes it better, but it’s not necessary (sorry, being truthful. We are wired different)
As for your list of qualities here – I think older men understand the need to help a woman through multiple orgasms before getting themselves off. So I hope you don’t limit yourself to youthful inexperienced guys!
Ha! This is great. I personally don’t understand why women get offended by the MILF term. I suppose some feel objectified. But it’s how guys think – we either want to have sex with a woman or not. All the emotional connection makes it better, but it’s not necessary (sorry, being truthful. We are wired different)
As for your list of qualities here – I think older men understand the need to help a woman through multiple orgasms before getting themselves off. So I hope you don’t limit yourself to youthful inexperienced guys!
Sunshine I reckon I’d be good for 2 outta three anyway. I’ll let you figure out which 2.
Sunshine I reckon I’d be good for 2 outta three anyway. I’ll let you figure out which 2.
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