He Was “Concerned” About my Body Since I’m A Mom
We had just started chatting via Instant Messenger. Conversation was flowing nicely. Friendly, polite, he had good spelling (which I look for) . And THEN…
Then I told him I have three kids.
A pause.
A really long pause.
Then his ‘probing’ began.
It started with comments: “Wow, that must have been hard on your body, eh?
Then: “I dated a mother once. She said it destroyed her breasts. lol ”
I knew he wasn’t a dad. I sensed he was really into physical appearance. And it didn’t take long for his superficality to surface. What he REALLY wanted to know is if I was loose, saggy, with a big butt and full of stretch marks.
Needless to say, I didn’t meet this guy. Not because I feel insecure about my body cause I don’t. I think my body’s awesome, even with my pregnancy wounds. I just haven’t the patience for men who don’t think women’s bodies are absolutely fantastic – post-partum as well.
Was I offended by his questions and comments? Yes. The feminist in me was pissed. But I’ve been in the dating trenches long enough to know it’s full of shallow, ignorant, little boys too.
I just chose to roll my eyes and say adios. I haven’t the time for men like him.
5 comments
Good for you Delaine. There are so many men out there who appreciate a woman’s body and see the wonders of it, flaws and all, for us to waste time with guys like this.
I wish I wish I wish I could say that my pregnancy ‘wounds’ don’t bother me. But they do. I’m so self-conscious about my stretch marks – I got them ALL over my stomach and I think it looks so gross. My body is softer and chubbier. And how can I expect a man to like what he sees when I don’t like what I see?
good for you, Delaine. i have absolutely no time for guys who are that shallow. we have more important issues in life that need our utmost attention and that body issue is ultimately NOT one of them.
Glad you found out how superficial he is before you wasted any time meeting him.
I think it’s important for there to be physical attraction between two people, but it sounds like he just went about trying to determine that in the least tactful way possible. Anyway, you don’t need someone who is going to be like that.
Instead of getting too worked up about guys like this, I choose to find them rather amusing. I knew where the guy was going right out of the starting gates…and so I deliberately remained vague in my reponses; wanted to make him sweat and see if he’d have balls to come right out and say things. He eventually did. I enticed him a bit and then closed conversation:) hehe He was so busy trying to figure out if I possessed HIS dealbreaking attributes, he hadn’t paused to consider if he was breaking MINE.