Should a first-time sexual encounter proceed if you have your period?
I recently received a letter from a woman in doldrums over this situation. She’d dated a man a few times and their mutual attraction was nearing detonation. But the ‘first-time’ hurdle still lay on her horizon – she hadn’t slept with anyone since she got separated. Anxiety, excitement, fear… the next step would be a BIG one. But low and behold, the day before the big event was to transpire, her period showed up.
“Should I still meet him?” She asked me in her letter. “I’m afraid it might make the situation more awkward than it already is.”
First off, I was frustrated for her: waiting so long to meet someone, a sizzling opportunity within grasp, then boom! – fantasies of wild abandonment choked. Grrrrr.
I recommended she go ahead and meet him and decide in the moment if it felt right. They were openly communicating about it and his attitude was one of “Oh well, we’ll manage.” I thought his answer was cool. After all, he wasn’t some inexperienced twenty year old, he was a grown man who’d been married (then divorced) for years. He knew better than to make a big deal out of it.
Still my stomach knotted at what the word ‘manage’ meant to him – would he be passionate and uninhibited and tender? Or would it be a rushed get-it-in-there-cause-that’s-all-I-can-kind of experience?
Man, this dating/sex thing after divorce thing sure can be daunting, at times making us feel as insecure as college students. So I’m throwing this “first-time-with-period” situation out to you: Would you? Have you? Are they ever good? Or does it totally depend on the open-mindedness and comfort of the two people? I know it’s a pretty big deal to many women…but is it to men?
6 comments
First of all – LOVE the picture! What a present it is!
I had sex on my period during a first-time encounter once. And it was at the tail-end of it. To tell you the honest truth, it was disappointing. I mean, even though I was clean and well-tended to, he avoided touching me down there altogther. And because I’m openminded around it, in fact I LOVE sex on my period, I was disappointed. It’s just a bit of blood, not kuties.
A great topic to open up!
First of all – LOVE the picture! What a present it is!
I had sex on my period during a first-time encounter once. And it was at the tail-end of it. To tell you the honest truth, it was disappointing. I mean, even though I was clean and well-tended to, he avoided touching me down there altogther. And because I’m openminded around it, in fact I LOVE sex on my period, I was disappointed. It’s just a bit of blood, not kuties.
A great topic to open up!
I look at it this way – even if the sex is really bad, at least you got the first-time thing over with! The next time HAS to be way better so a second chance should automatically be given!
I look at it this way – even if the sex is really bad, at least you got the first-time thing over with! The next time HAS to be way better so a second chance should automatically be given!
I think it would be better to wait and not have a first time encounter while having your period. I just think it complicates things and will make the experience stressful when it doesn’t need to be.
I think it would be better to wait and not have a first time encounter while having your period. I just think it complicates things and will make the experience stressful when it doesn’t need to be.