Parenting After Divorce: Do You Have A Plan for Emergencies?
I was at home working when my phone rang – my ex-husband’s number popped up. Thinking it was my children, I quickly answered.
Instead it was my ex. I heard, “We’ve had a bit of an accident. We’re on our way to get stitches.”
“Who’s hurt?” I asked heart racing.
“Janet.” (My four-year-old daughter) “She cut open her chin pretty bad, maybe three quarters of an inch wide. It looks deep. So I’m taking her to get stitches so she has less chance of scarring.” He then went on to explain that they’d just arrived at an outdoor skating rink and Janet had no sooner stepped on the ice, that she did an immediate face-plant. The cut was UNDER her chin, thank God. ”I didn’t see it happen,” my ex continued. “I was putting on my skates.”
I asked to speak to my daughter who was in the backseat of the truck with her older brother. “Guess what mom?” she answered happily. “I’m eating chips! And having coke. And daddy says after I see the doctor, I can have a sucker!”
I grinned: She’s my candy monster. I spoke to her for awhile, and my heart resumed its normal pace: the accident could have been much worse.
This incident showed me how important it is for divorcing couples to have a plan in case of emergencies; something my ex and I had never discussed. Luckily, I had been home to provide him with her Health Number to see a doctor – but that’s something that both parties should have on hand. Both should also know where the closest clinics are, including after-hour clinics like the one my family had needed to visit last night.
Obviously, I’m more than relieved that our daughter is doing fine. But I must admit, a part of me is glad this incident happened when she was with my ex – and I say this is a positive way, not a negative one. Cause he had to learn first-hand how to cope in an emergency situation like I’ve done numerous times solo. He had to leave his house full of guests to spend four hours waiting to see a doctor. He had to feel the fear, swallow her tears, make decisions, and step into a different area of fatherhood.
Cause parenting is definitely the hardest job in the world. And it’s often not until we become single parents, that we gain the knowledge – and desire – to appreciate that fact.
8 comments
Amen sister! I am actually very fortunate in the sense that while I can’t stand him, he is a good Dad. He is now learning what my morning and evening routines were. He actually said he appreciated what I do with the kids. We just started enforcing the custoday agreement, well, with flexibility….he had the kids all weekend and got a good dose of life.
I agree that you need to have a plan, in case of emergencies. At least we can still talk civilly when it comes to the well-being of our children.
You are right, i have two daughters living with my ex, and i am always insistint on carrying the insurance cards always…
even know i dont have any fight with my ex, the common thing are our daughters
You should know there are millions of wonderful fathers out there. Many fathers are fighting to regain relationships with their children after being falsely accused of domestic violence during divorce. Most men truly love their children.
You should know there are millions of wonderful fathers out there. Many fathers are fighting to regain relationships with their children after being falsely accused of domestic violence during divorce. Most men truly love their children.
Hey there! Found you on Iheartsingleparents. I’m another single mom blogger, and I’m so excited to keep finding more intelligent, outspoken single moms out there! I love the title of your blog. I’ve only been a single mom for about 2 years, but I’ve probably grown more in the last 2 years than my entire 27.
Power to the single moms
Terri – I don’t deny that men love their kids. That wasn’t the point of this article.
Kim and Hector – in moments of crisis we sure want to put aside difference and focus on the emergency at hand. But yeah – preparedness is key cause you never know whose time one may happen on.
Hanna – welcome! And ain’t it the truth – we AREN’T dead – in fact, for many of us, we’re actually finally living again!
Hello! First time reader here. Interesting topic you’re tackling on this post. Although planning the course of action in case of emergencies works for divorced parents who are in good terms with each other, I see this as a problem for parents who refuse to reconcile their differences for the sake of their children. How would you advice these types of parents create an effective plan for their children considering their differences?
Knowing what steps to take in advance, in case of emergency is something that should be spelled out and discussed very clearly in the legal custody section of the initial co-parenting plan.