Overwhelmed by Single Parenting & Working Full-Time
I feel like I’m going crazy; pushed and pulled in a hundred different directions. I should have known today would be one of ’those days’ when at 6:30 a.m., the scream of one my boys getting hurt while wrestling launched me out of bed.
Work deadlines loom, my nanny called in sick, my kids’ schedule today is more demanding than most, kripes – I have no groceries or plans for my preschool daughter, my Outlook Express is on the blitz, and somehow I have to manage, troubeshoot, and do it all alone with these two hands and a smile on my face.
On days like this I wonder how I’m going to survive being a divorced full-time parent and working mom. I seriously wonder if I’ll be able to nurture my children into adulthood feeling loved, let alone help them reach their souls’ potential. I wonder how I’m ever going to pay the non-stop bills around here, let alone ever achieve my dreams. The mechanics of living and surviving are enough to fill my hours…
On any given regular school day, I feel like I’m barely keeping my balance. Cause you see, my kids go to school right beside my house and I work from home. I don’t pack them off for 8 hours a day and see them at 4 p.m. when the bus pulls up – no, they’re out the door 30 seconds before the bell rings, home at lunch (with friends), and home at 3:35 sharp. And the expectations I have of myself to be a part of their every day, to give them ‘more,‘ to help buffer the divorce, to make them feel like mom is still a stay-at-home mom who’s there for them 100% of the time, are greater than ever.
I know that my thoughts and feelings are setting up my day AND my life. I believe in “The Secret”, that like energy attracts like energy, and that I’m a radar attracting people, situations and events into my life depending on my state of being. I also know I can choose to shift my thinking and become happier, more positive at any given moment so that I can change the course of this day…
But I’m overwhelmed. I feel like crying. And I find myself hating my ex just cause I want to blame someone for this, even if just for a minute, so I can feel sorry for myself. And that self-pitying mindset just brings me down more cause I’m bigger than that.
But right now I need to stop writing so I can tend to my List.
5 comments
I feel for you Delaine – I have days like that too and judt want to run away from it or lie down and cry. The universe’s ‘tests’ continue in all areas of our lives.
One day at a time my friend. I bet you’re doing way better job than you give yourself credit for. Your devotion to your kids is obvious. It sounds like your expectations may need to come down a notch or two. At least on days like today.
Virtual hug to you! XOXO
Well, of course you feel down, depressed and resentful. This is all part of the normal process after divorced. And honestly, you just can’t stay positive all the time. When you try to do this, you’re burying all of those feelings and they’ll come back to haunt you in some other form later. (I could talk about The Secret for days…)
Do what you can with your day and then sit with, acknowledge and feel those feelings. Accept them as they come. Try not to judge yourself for feeling them. Cry your eyes out. Punch your pillow.
Then do some yoga, meditate, masturbate and get a good night’s sleep. I promise you that purging them, instead of trying to ignore them, will make them go away much faster.
We’ve all been there, Delaine. And sometimes, we’re there again.
You are not alone.
I also second what Barb says. Realize that you just have to let some things go. It will work out.
((hugs))
im starting to feel overwhelmed by single parenting at the moment to and i get so anger at my ex husband, i feel like every morning im getting up and im looking at another long list of things that just never seems to get done. all the while he is just getting on with his life not struggling and still drinking and does nothing to support our kids so i can really understand u wanting to blame ur ex as its u doing the day to day things. when the ex gets the kids its normally the case they get to have fun times with the kids and we get to have the day to day living and struggles ,
i 100% no how u feel sending u hugs delaine xoxoxo
Thanks ladies. I try to count my blessings, and for the most part I can keep my outlook positive…but on days like this, I CRASH. Hard. And I wonder how the f*** I’m ever going to keep doing this.
Almost makes me want to have a partner in my life again to divide up the workload lol. ALMOST. haha
Amen Sister!