Category: From the Dating Trenches

"Friends With Benefits" – A Myth, A Rarity, or A Matter of Luck?

Posted by Delaine - May 18, 2015 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
friends with benefits  "Friends With Benefits" – A Myth, A Rarity, or A Matter of Luck?

From Year Two Post-Divorce When my best friend Hali and I found ourselves newly separated and back out in the dating trenches, we kept hearing the term “Friends With Benefits.”   We both liked the sound of it and decided it was something we wanted.  After all, we weren’t ready for serious, but we wanted to have sex.  Thus a sexual…

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I Made Out With A Married Man, and I Told His Wife (Part II)

Posted by Delaine - February 25, 2015 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
delaine moore cheating husbands calgary stampede 300x222  I Made Out With A Married Man, and I Told His Wife (Part II)

From year four post-divorce So as the countdown begins to this year’s Calgary Stampede, I’m reminded of last year’s “debacle” during the festivities. That is, I spent eight hours at a bar with a handsome “urban cowboy” who professed to be single and genuinely smitten by me. A day later, I found out that he…

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Hello God? It’s Me, Delaine. Can You PLEASE Somehow End This Date?

Posted by Delaine - January 20, 2015 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
bad date get me out of here  Hello God? It’s Me, Delaine. Can You PLEASE Somehow End This Date?

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Year four post-divorce His comments caught me totally off guard: We were out on our second date – me and this handsome, charming, 42-year-old divorced businessman. The Indian food we’d eaten was excellent, as was the conversation we’d shared: satisfying…delicious…with just enough ’spice.’  And as we sat there finishing up the last drops of our red wine, I…

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Looking Back: “The Duke” Was A Donkey’s Ass

Posted by Delaine - December 12, 2014 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
donkey ass dominant the duke  Looking Back: “The Duke” Was A Donkey’s Ass

Seven years have now passed since I went through the insanity of my divorce.  I’m in a COMPLETELY different place in my life in all respects.  And when I think back on “The Duke” — the online, self-proclaimed “Dominant” who had a pronounced voice in my memoir, The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom. my most prominent…

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The Duke: Questions & Cautions around Doms and D/s Relationships

Posted by Delaine - May 30, 2014 - Concerns & Fears, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating, Loving & Trusting, On My Book Becoming A Movie, Sexual Issues & Kinks, slideshow, Women's Sexuality alex c3
alex c4  The Duke:  Questions & Cautions around Doms and D/s Relationships

The Duke, The Duke, The Duke — without a doubt, he’s a big character in my book/movie that captures women’s attention.  He is a sexual Dominant after all; a grown-up and much more believable “Christian Grey”. Alex Carter plays “The Duke” in my Lifetime movie – and dang…he is some convincing as a Dom, too (smiles).  Anyhow — I want to…

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Financial Domination: An Unusual Fetish on the Fringes of BDSM

Posted by Delaine - August 30, 2013 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Sexual Issues & Kinks
financial domination fetish Ds dating after divorce 300x274  Financial Domination: An Unusual Fetish on the Fringes of BDSM

My girlfriend Deanne was messaging a younger man from a dating website this week, when out of the blue, he hit her with an “unusual” request: “Every month I’d like to give you money,“ he wrote.  “You can spend it on yourself or any way you want.  We can start out with small sums but maybe eventually get…

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Living Vacariously: Dating & Sex Books for the Divorced

Posted by Delaine - January 30, 2013 - Between the Sheets, Concerns & Fears, Cougars & Single Moms, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating, Longing...and Learning, On Writing My Book, Relationships, Sexual Issues & Kinks, Understanding Men/Women, Women's Sexuality
sexy divorced woman reading book horiz 300x200  Living Vacariously: Dating & Sex Books for the Divorced

Done With Fifty Shades of Grey….NOW What? By Zlata Faerman A good friend of mine recently told me, “Reading Fifty Shades of Grey literally changed my sex life.” When I asked her to explain further (even though, duh, I’m reading it too, so I get it), she said that she’s hasn’t felt so sexually charged…

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Pros and Cons of Dating Younger Men

Posted by Delaine - May 24, 2012 - Between the Sheets, Concerns & Fears, Cougars & Single Moms, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Women's Sexuality
younger man 13 300x173  Pros and Cons of Dating Younger Men

Having intermittently dated a few younger men since I got divorced, today I’m offering up some of the pluses and minuses I experienced. At the end of the day, however, I caution you NOT to disqualify men based on age alone.  If you find someone you connect with and care about and he also happens…

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Shhh…This Single Mom Went to a Sex Club

Posted by Delaine - April 30, 2012 - Cougars & Single Moms, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Longing...and Learning, Sexual Issues & Kinks
secret life of a newly single mother delaine moore mars venus coach calgary1 300x258  Shhh…This Single Mom Went to a Sex Club

It happened years ago when I first got divorced: I was 37 years old, trying to re-acclimatize to singlehood and the dating trenches when – (blush) I went to a sex club. Now before going any further, let me just say that I am not some nympho or slut or kinky sex goddess; I’m just a…

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Is Your Dating Mindset SMART or Self-Sabotaging?

Posted by Delaine - February 27, 2012 - Between the Sheets, Concerns & Fears, Cougars & Single Moms, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating, Longing...and Learning, Phases/ Stages, slideshow, Support & Girlfriends, Understanding Men/Women, Women's Sexuality dating help after divorce women
smart dating logo 8 275x300  Is Your Dating Mindset SMART or Self-Sabotaging?

On the heels of recent  letters I’ve received from divorced women –  many who’d just finished reading my memoir –  it really struck me how we all share many of the same fears and challenges as we attempt to date after divorce:  How do I know I’m ready, how do I handle rejection, how do…

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First Date Cooking: Awesome Recipe for the Culinary-Challenged

Posted by Delaine - January 15, 2012 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, slideshow
divorced woman what to cook recipe date 300x254  First Date Cooking: Awesome Recipe for the Culinary-Challenged

I’ve grown accustomed these past years since divorcing to creating dinner menus suitable for young kids – that is, not too fancy, easy to make, and rarely ethnic.  Cause whenever I’ve veered off this menu plan, little noses would turn up and I’d hear, “Can I have a bowl of cereal instead?”  (Frustrating!!!!) When we’re dating after…

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“The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom”

Posted by Delaine - September 6, 2011 - Between the Sheets, Concerns & Fears, Cougars & Single Moms, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Infidelity, Internet Dating, Longing...and Learning, On Writing My Book, Sexual Issues & Kinks, Social Barriers & Change, Strong Mind & Spirit, Women's Sexuality
secret life of a newly single mother delaine moore mars venus coach calgary 300x258  “The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom”

So I’m knee-deep into the publishing process on my upcoming memoir, which is slated for release in Spring 2012. And my publisher, which is the feminist publisher Seal Press, has changed the title of it.  It’s now: The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom. (gulp)….A little more in-your-face than its original title,  “A Woman’s…

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Wrestling Guilt: “I Don’t Want Him To Spend The Night”

Posted by Delaine - August 10, 2011 - Between the Sheets, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
divorced women sleeping with man overnight delaine moore  Wrestling Guilt: “I Don’t Want Him To Spend The Night”

A new phenomenon has come to town and entered the bedroom of one of my clients.  One that is causing her to feel guilty; one that goes against her beliefs around relationships and in a way, feels like gender role-reversal:  she doesn’t want to spend the night – or all sorts of extra time –  with the new…

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Only Love Can Break Your Heart

Posted by Delaine - April 30, 2011 - From the Dating Trenches, Longing...and Learning
man broken heart divorce dating  Only Love Can Break Your Heart

Written by Peter Ehrlich. I remember the first time I heard Neil Young sing Only Love Can Break Your Heart, I was in my early twenties.  And I remember what I thought about the song.  “Nice little jingle, but I should get back to Keith Richards banging out his signature dirty riffs to All Down…

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Dating Someone Who Lives Out of Town – Worth The Time & Effort?

Posted by Delaine - February 1, 2011 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, From the Dating Trenches, Relationships
long distance  Dating Someone Who Lives Out of Town – Worth The Time & Effort?

Since divorcing, I’ve dated a few out-of-town men. These men were whirlwind romances that I KNEW would go nowhere – our geographical distance was too great. Nonetheless, these relationships were exactly what I needed at that time to help me find my bearings in the dating trenches soon after separating from my former husband. Recently,…

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My New Bedtime Fantasy

Posted by Delaine - January 16, 2011 - From the Dating Trenches, Making It Work, Midlife Divorce, Relationships
divorced man bed sex fantasy  My New Bedtime Fantasy

Contributed by Peter Ehrlich. I want to talk about my newest, ongoing, “driving me forward” bedtime fantasy.  This twisted new fantasy is the new fuel that has launched me to join yet another dating site and contact virtually every single woman between the ages of 42 and 52.  I can go to any dating site…

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Seven Reasons Why I Like To Date Divorced Men

Posted by Delaine - January 16, 2011 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches
cute divorced dad with son  Seven Reasons Why I Like To Date Divorced Men

When I was younger (and thought I knew it all), I found it a total turn-off if a man told me he was divorced.  Immediately, I thought “failure”, “tainted,” and “person-with-luggage.” But today, as I wade through the sea of men on dating sites, I find I’ve done a 360 – I actually gravitate more…

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Dating After Divorce: An Indecent, Freaky Or Attractive Proposition

Posted by Delaine - December 16, 2010 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Sexual Issues & Kinks
submissive man cleaning2 216x300  Dating After Divorce: An Indecent, Freaky Or Attractive Proposition

So a woman I know received a proposition this week from a man online.  We’re still trying to figure out if we think it’s indecent.  Is it different?  Yes.  Freaky?  Borderline.  Is she considering it?  Hmmmm…kind of. First I should mention, she’s met him in person already.  He apparently seemed totally normal.  He even seemed smart…

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They Just Weren’t That Into Me!

Posted by Delaine - December 16, 2010 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Understanding Men/Women
not that into me  They Just Weren’t That Into Me!

I read the book and last night, I saw the movie. And “He’s Just Not That Into You” clearly revealed how I’d kept my head WAYYYYY up in the clouds when it came to men – my ex-husband included. Time and time and time again, throughout my dating and married life, I have made excuse after…

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Relationship Warning: Do You See His Potential or Who He REALLY Is?

Posted by Delaine - August 31, 2010 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, From the Dating Trenches, Loving & Trusting, Relationships, Understanding Men/Women
infatuated mans potential  Relationship Warning: Do You See His Potential or Who He REALLY Is?

It’s been three and a half years since my ex-husband and I split up.  And since then, despite the many dates and mini-relationships I’ve had, I’m still single.  But I don’t think of this as being a ‘bad’ thing ; I think I’ve needed this time – to heal, to grow, to like myself more…and to get a much stronger…

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