Category: Fears & Challenges

The Heart and Soul of Dominance & Submission

Posted by Delaine - April 30, 2015 - Fears & Challenges, Loving & Trusting, Making It Work, Relationships, Sex
ayhan 13 300x298  The Heart and Soul of Dominance & Submission

I accidentally crossed paths with my first Dominant online when I was going through a divorce seven years ago. My first thought was to run away fast: He must be some whip-toting freak with a dungeon in his basement. Fast-forward to today and I have three Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationships behind me (though I’ve had vanilla…

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Travelling Spouse: Prevent Your Relationship & Home-Life From Nose-Diving

Posted by Delaine - March 31, 2015 - Fears & Challenges, Making It Work, Relationships
travel 1 300x173  Travelling Spouse: Prevent Your Relationship & Home-Life From Nose-Diving

When a spouse regularly works out of town, return trips home usually spell stress and chaos on the home front.  Over time, resentment can easily grow around issues like downtime, chores, parenting and (lack of) sex.  Here are some tips and insights to keep your relationship on track. Downtime: Respect that you both need it…

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Loving Again After Divorce: I Admit It – I’m Afraid

Posted by Delaine - March 25, 2014 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Healing, Longing...and Learning, Loving & Trusting, Phases/ Stages, Relationships
divorce fear of love1  Loving Again After Divorce: I Admit It – I’m Afraid

From year two post-divorce… A close male friend of mine, one whose opinion I value greatly, keeps telling me:  Gypsy (his nickname for me), you are so afraid to fall in love.  You’ve built walls to protect yourself and keep men out, but you must be careful not to become your own prisoner. Immediately I…

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Thoughts on the “Next Serious Relationship” After Divorce

Posted by Delaine - January 10, 2014 - Blended & Changing Families, Fears & Challenges, Loving & Trusting, Making It Work, Relationships
serious relationship after divorce 300x153  Thoughts on the “Next Serious Relationship” After Divorce

The title of this blog may be a bit misleading.  Cause I don’t want to talk in a professional  tone or way about the “next serious relationship” after divorce.  I want to talk about mine. That’s right.  MY next serious relationship.  I had one for over 20 months.  And I never told you anything about…

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Ask Coach Delaine: “Why is my newly-divorced boyfriend retreating from me?”

Posted by Delaine - September 27, 2013 - Concerns & Fears, Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Healing, Loving & Trusting, Phases/ Stages, Relationships, Single Dads, slideshow divorced man happy or hurting divorce moving on coping
divorcing man help sad angry trying to move on  Ask Coach Delaine: “Why is my newly-divorced boyfriend retreating from me?”

Question: Hello Delaine, I have been happily dating a separated man for the past year as he finished up his divorce.  His divorce was finally finalized last month. They were married for over 20 years and according to him, it wasn’t a good marriage. I’ve noticed, however, that ever since the divorce came through, he’s…

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When Men Quickly “Replace” After Separation or Divorce

Posted by Delaine - September 11, 2013 - Dealing with the ex, Fears & Challenges, Grief/ Anger, Loving & Trusting, Relationships, Surviving, Understanding Men/Women
men replace quickly after divorce  When Men Quickly “Replace” After Separation or Divorce

When Barb contacted me via email last week, she was clearly very upset.  Only six months into her divorce, she’d discovered that her separated husband had a new serious girlfriend; they were even making plans to move in together.  “It’s not that I want him back,” she wrote.  “But it’s such a slap in the face –…

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Why You Need to SLOOOOOW Down That Next Relationship

Posted by Delaine - February 26, 2013 - Fears & Challenges, Longing...and Learning, Relationships
slow down next relationship divorce2  Why You Need to SLOOOOOW Down That Next Relationship

There’s a natural progression to relationships and it usually looks something like this: we date, we sleep over at each other’s houses more and more frequently, we move in together, we get married. Oftentimes, we look at moving in together/getting married stage as the ultimate ideal – lives are completely integrated.  And we often assume that the quicker we get there, the…

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When Divorced Girlfriends Offend: Too Quick to Criticize Love & Men?

Posted by Delaine - October 23, 2012 - Fears & Challenges, Loving & Trusting, Making It Work, Midlife Divorce, Relationships, Social Barriers & Change, Support & Girlfriends, Surviving
good intentions divorced girlfriends hurt  When Divorced Girlfriends Offend: Too Quick to Criticize Love & Men?

Recently a divorced woman named Sue found herself in a “gross” conversation with her divorced griflriends.  Not “gross” as in the subject matter was lude or disgusting; rather, the conversation left her feeling gross.  For  somehow, her friends’ conversation had shifted to her relationship with her boyfriend —  and as she put it, “It was like…

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20 Relationship Insights From A Divorced Man

Posted by Delaine - August 19, 2012 - Fears & Challenges, Loving & Trusting, Making It Work, Relationships, Sex
thinking man  20 Relationship Insights From A Divorced Man

Contributed by Gerald Rogers Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different.  After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have…

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“I Love You”: To Say or Not to Say

Posted by Delaine - January 24, 2012 - Fears & Challenges, Longing...and Learning, Loving & Trusting, Phases/ Stages, Relationships
man woman i love you after divorce2 300x201  “I Love You”: To Say or Not to Say

Thinking back to my twenties, I remember I said the words “I love you” very soon in my relationships with men.  The “love feelings” would overwhelm me: the closeness, the intimacy, the peace of feeling cared for and apart from the rest of the world.  The warmth and power of these feelings would fill my chest, sometimes to the…

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He said: “Why have a girlfriend when I have a maid?”

Posted by Delaine - January 2, 2012 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Grief/ Anger, Relationships, Understanding Men/Women
divorced man needs maid not girlfriend delaine moore  He said: “Why have a girlfriend when I have a maid?”

Though I don’t know my friend Tim really well, I’ve always held him in high regard.   He’s smart, he’s personable and he’s also very kind: he’s rescued me numerous times when I was faced with household and car repairs! The other day, however, I got to thinking that it seemed strange  that he was still single.  I mean, I knew he was…

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TIMING: Now Probably Isn’t The Best Time To Look For a Boyfriend

Posted by Delaine - September 7, 2011 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Longing...and Learning, Relationships
divorced mom Delaine Moore boyfriend timing2  TIMING: Now Probably Isn’t The Best Time To Look For a Boyfriend

At various times since I got divorced, I’ve felt that life would be a heck of a lot better if I had another partner to share it with.  Especially when I was going through ‘dark phases’ – God, how I yearned to have a man to protect,comfort, and love me… But four years later, I fully believe  that when…

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Dating Someone Who Lives Out of Town – Worth The Time & Effort?

Posted by Delaine - February 1, 2011 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, From the Dating Trenches, Relationships
long distance  Dating Someone Who Lives Out of Town – Worth The Time & Effort?

Since divorcing, I’ve dated a few out-of-town men. These men were whirlwind romances that I KNEW would go nowhere – our geographical distance was too great. Nonetheless, these relationships were exactly what I needed at that time to help me find my bearings in the dating trenches soon after separating from my former husband. Recently,…

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“Bad Men” Bring Us Tremendous Gifts

Posted by Delaine - January 24, 2011 - Fears & Challenges, Healing, Longing...and Learning, Relationships, Wisdom Gained
bad boy small  “Bad Men” Bring Us Tremendous Gifts

Almost all women at some point in their lives attract a ‘bad man’; some of us marry him. And by ‘bad,’ I’m not simply referring to men who are drug lords, pimps, or wife abusers. No, “bad men” are men who don’ treat us and love us as wonderfully as we deserve. They are, as…

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Anger & Mistrust of Men: Have Your Walls Become Your Prison?

Posted by Delaine - January 9, 2011 - Fears & Challenges, Grief/ Anger, Healing, Infidelity, Relationships, Wisdom Gained
divorced woman walls bitterness1  Anger & Mistrust of Men: Have Your Walls Become Your Prison?

Do you ever wonder if divorce and/or infidelity have ‘hardened’ you?  I don’t mean ‘hardened’ as in “made you stronger.”  I mean as in, “encased you in a shell of mistrust and bitterness towards the opposite sex.” Cause that’s what happened to me; I wasn’t even conscious of it at the time.  Truth is, to this day, I still sometimes struggle with…

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Relationship Warning: Do You See His Potential or Who He REALLY Is?

Posted by Delaine - August 31, 2010 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, From the Dating Trenches, Loving & Trusting, Relationships, Understanding Men/Women
infatuated mans potential  Relationship Warning: Do You See His Potential or Who He REALLY Is?

It’s been three and a half years since my ex-husband and I split up.  And since then, despite the many dates and mini-relationships I’ve had, I’m still single.  But I don’t think of this as being a ‘bad’ thing ; I think I’ve needed this time – to heal, to grow, to like myself more…and to get a much stronger…

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What Kind Of Man Wants ‘Serious’ With A Single Mom?

Posted by Delaine - June 16, 2010 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Longing...and Learning, On being alone, Relationships, Single Moms
dating single mom men  What Kind Of Man Wants ‘Serious’ With A Single Mom?

So I broke up with someone last week – a single dad of two.   He’s the first man I’ve gone out with since divorcing that I contemplated getting serious with whatsoever.  But even though we got along brilliantly, even though he said he was crazy about me, one main thing deterred his interest: the fact that I…

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Relationships:The Huge Missing Piece I FINALLY Found

Posted by Delaine - February 23, 2010 - Fears & Challenges, Healing, Relationships, Wisdom Gained
relationships dating puzzle piece 199x300  Relationships:The Huge Missing Piece I FINALLY Found

I dare say I’ve had an epiphany in the relationship department; a giant revelation around what I ultimately need.  And though it may seem an obvious component to you, I’m afraid  it’s something I’ve never had before.  And I can’t help but grin cause it came via a most unusual source. Do you remember my Handsome Good Man?  He’s the widower…

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Relationships: Do Women Need ‘Deeper’ Men?

Posted by Delaine - July 20, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Longing...and Learning, Relationships
what women want in men  Relationships: Do Women Need ‘Deeper’ Men?

A divorcing girlfriend of mine is dating a man who, externally, seems to have it all – good looks, wealth, the trimmings. And inwardly, there’s no denying he is a good, decent man. Together, they seem to make good ‘partners,’ going places, doing projects, having fun… Recently, however, she confessed: “On some deeper level, we…

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Relationship Patterns: I Don’t Want to Be a Man’s Psychologist

Posted by Delaine - June 27, 2009 - Fears & Challenges, Longing...and Learning, Loving & Trusting, Making It Work, Relationships, Understanding Men/Women
divorced men counselling 300x233  Relationship Patterns: I Don’t Want to Be a Man’s Psychologist

Flash back a few years ago. Sitting on a park bench with a man I loved, a man I thought the greatest human being on earth. He was showing me old photos from his childhood, words, stories, spilling out of his mouth. I sat there listening, loving him, wanting to know more, wanting to help…

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