Category: Relationships

The Heart and Soul of Dominance & Submission

Posted by Delaine - April 30, 2015 - Fears & Challenges, Loving & Trusting, Making It Work, Relationships, Sex
ayhan 13 300x298  The Heart and Soul of Dominance & Submission

I accidentally crossed paths with my first Dominant online when I was going through a divorce seven years ago. My first thought was to run away fast: He must be some whip-toting freak with a dungeon in his basement. Fast-forward to today and I have three Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationships behind me (though I’ve had vanilla…

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What's It REALLY Like to Have An Affair?

Posted by Delaine - April 11, 2015 - Advice, Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Phases/ Stages, Relationships, Surviving
dating separated men problems challenges how to1 300x200  What

It was my deepest, darkest secret – something that nourished me, tortured me, yet ultimately tore my family apart:  After seven years of marriage, the birth of three kids, and weathering the emotional storm of my husband’s infidelity, I made the choice to have an affair. Now I’m not revealing this today as some kind of…

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Travelling Spouse: Prevent Your Relationship & Home-Life From Nose-Diving

Posted by Delaine - March 31, 2015 - Fears & Challenges, Making It Work, Relationships
travel 1 300x173  Travelling Spouse: Prevent Your Relationship & Home-Life From Nose-Diving

When a spouse regularly works out of town, return trips home usually spell stress and chaos on the home front.  Over time, resentment can easily grow around issues like downtime, chores, parenting and (lack of) sex.  Here are some tips and insights to keep your relationship on track. Downtime: Respect that you both need it…

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The Duke: Questions & Cautions around Doms and D/s Relationships

Posted by Delaine - May 30, 2014 - Concerns & Fears, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating, Loving & Trusting, On My Book Becoming A Movie, Sexual Issues & Kinks, slideshow, Women's Sexuality alex c3
alex c4  The Duke:  Questions & Cautions around Doms and D/s Relationships

The Duke, The Duke, The Duke — without a doubt, he’s a big character in my book/movie that captures women’s attention.  He is a sexual Dominant after all; a grown-up and much more believable “Christian Grey”. Alex Carter plays “The Duke” in my Lifetime movie – and dang…he is some convincing as a Dom, too (smiles).  Anyhow — I want to…

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Loving Again After Divorce: I Admit It – I’m Afraid

Posted by Delaine - March 25, 2014 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Healing, Longing...and Learning, Loving & Trusting, Phases/ Stages, Relationships
divorce fear of love1  Loving Again After Divorce: I Admit It – I’m Afraid

From year two post-divorce… A close male friend of mine, one whose opinion I value greatly, keeps telling me:  Gypsy (his nickname for me), you are so afraid to fall in love.  You’ve built walls to protect yourself and keep men out, but you must be careful not to become your own prisoner. Immediately I…

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Thoughts on the “Next Serious Relationship” After Divorce

Posted by Delaine - January 10, 2014 - Blended & Changing Families, Fears & Challenges, Loving & Trusting, Making It Work, Relationships
serious relationship after divorce 300x153  Thoughts on the “Next Serious Relationship” After Divorce

The title of this blog may be a bit misleading.  Cause I don’t want to talk in a professional  tone or way about the “next serious relationship” after divorce.  I want to talk about mine. That’s right.  MY next serious relationship.  I had one for over 20 months.  And I never told you anything about…

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Ask Coach Delaine: “Why is my newly-divorced boyfriend retreating from me?”

Posted by Delaine - September 27, 2013 - Concerns & Fears, Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Healing, Loving & Trusting, Phases/ Stages, Relationships, Single Dads, slideshow divorced man happy or hurting divorce moving on coping
divorcing man help sad angry trying to move on  Ask Coach Delaine: “Why is my newly-divorced boyfriend retreating from me?”

Question: Hello Delaine, I have been happily dating a separated man for the past year as he finished up his divorce.  His divorce was finally finalized last month. They were married for over 20 years and according to him, it wasn’t a good marriage. I’ve noticed, however, that ever since the divorce came through, he’s…

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When Men Quickly “Replace” After Separation or Divorce

Posted by Delaine - September 11, 2013 - Dealing with the ex, Fears & Challenges, Grief/ Anger, Loving & Trusting, Relationships, Surviving, Understanding Men/Women
men replace quickly after divorce  When Men Quickly “Replace” After Separation or Divorce

When Barb contacted me via email last week, she was clearly very upset.  Only six months into her divorce, she’d discovered that her separated husband had a new serious girlfriend; they were even making plans to move in together.  “It’s not that I want him back,” she wrote.  “But it’s such a slap in the face –…

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"I Want A Sensitive Man" -- Are You Sure?

Posted by Delaine - April 27, 2013 - Dating & Sex, Making It Work, Relationships
men replace quickly after divorce 233x300  "I Want A Sensitive Man" -- Are You Sure?

“I want a sensitive man.”  It’s become a popular mating call by women these days, especially among women on the heels of a breakup or divorce.  Oftentimes their former partners were, as one divorcing woman put it, “as expressive as a piece of cement.”    Thus, the “sensitive man” —  a guy who’s in touch with…

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Why You Need to SLOOOOOW Down That Next Relationship

Posted by Delaine - February 26, 2013 - Fears & Challenges, Longing...and Learning, Relationships
slow down next relationship divorce2  Why You Need to SLOOOOOW Down That Next Relationship

There’s a natural progression to relationships and it usually looks something like this: we date, we sleep over at each other’s houses more and more frequently, we move in together, we get married. Oftentimes, we look at moving in together/getting married stage as the ultimate ideal – lives are completely integrated.  And we often assume that the quicker we get there, the…

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Living Vacariously: Dating & Sex Books for the Divorced

Posted by Delaine - January 30, 2013 - Between the Sheets, Concerns & Fears, Cougars & Single Moms, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating, Longing...and Learning, On Writing My Book, Relationships, Sexual Issues & Kinks, Understanding Men/Women, Women's Sexuality
sexy divorced woman reading book horiz 300x200  Living Vacariously: Dating & Sex Books for the Divorced

Done With Fifty Shades of Grey….NOW What? By Zlata Faerman A good friend of mine recently told me, “Reading Fifty Shades of Grey literally changed my sex life.” When I asked her to explain further (even though, duh, I’m reading it too, so I get it), she said that she’s hasn’t felt so sexually charged…

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When Divorced Girlfriends Offend: Too Quick to Criticize Love & Men?

Posted by Delaine - October 23, 2012 - Fears & Challenges, Loving & Trusting, Making It Work, Midlife Divorce, Relationships, Social Barriers & Change, Support & Girlfriends, Surviving
good intentions divorced girlfriends hurt  When Divorced Girlfriends Offend: Too Quick to Criticize Love & Men?

Recently a divorced woman named Sue found herself in a “gross” conversation with her divorced griflriends.  Not “gross” as in the subject matter was lude or disgusting; rather, the conversation left her feeling gross.  For  somehow, her friends’ conversation had shifted to her relationship with her boyfriend —  and as she put it, “It was like…

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20 Relationship Insights From A Divorced Man

Posted by Delaine - August 19, 2012 - Fears & Challenges, Loving & Trusting, Making It Work, Relationships, Sex
thinking man  20 Relationship Insights From A Divorced Man

Contributed by Gerald Rogers Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different.  After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have…

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“I Love You”: To Say or Not to Say

Posted by Delaine - January 24, 2012 - Fears & Challenges, Longing...and Learning, Loving & Trusting, Phases/ Stages, Relationships
man woman i love you after divorce2 300x201  “I Love You”: To Say or Not to Say

Thinking back to my twenties, I remember I said the words “I love you” very soon in my relationships with men.  The “love feelings” would overwhelm me: the closeness, the intimacy, the peace of feeling cared for and apart from the rest of the world.  The warmth and power of these feelings would fill my chest, sometimes to the…

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He said: “Why have a girlfriend when I have a maid?”

Posted by Delaine - January 2, 2012 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Grief/ Anger, Relationships, Understanding Men/Women
divorced man needs maid not girlfriend delaine moore  He said: “Why have a girlfriend when I have a maid?”

Though I don’t know my friend Tim really well, I’ve always held him in high regard.   He’s smart, he’s personable and he’s also very kind: he’s rescued me numerous times when I was faced with household and car repairs! The other day, however, I got to thinking that it seemed strange  that he was still single.  I mean, I knew he was…

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TIMING: Now Probably Isn’t The Best Time To Look For a Boyfriend

Posted by Delaine - September 7, 2011 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Longing...and Learning, Relationships
divorced mom Delaine Moore boyfriend timing2  TIMING: Now Probably Isn’t The Best Time To Look For a Boyfriend

At various times since I got divorced, I’ve felt that life would be a heck of a lot better if I had another partner to share it with.  Especially when I was going through ‘dark phases’ – God, how I yearned to have a man to protect,comfort, and love me… But four years later, I fully believe  that when…

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Relationship Demand: “50% of my To-Do List is yours or I’m done”

Posted by Delaine - September 4, 2011 - Making It Work, Relationships, Understanding Men/Women
Womans To Do List delaine moore mars venus coach calgary dating divorce2  Relationship Demand: “50% of my To-Do List is yours or I’m done”

Hmm – I bet the issue in this letter resonates with many of you.  Hi Delaine, I’ve been divorced a couple of times.  A recent acquaintance told me if we were to get serious, she expected me to complete her “To-Do List” every evening after work.  I am tired after work and just want to…

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Do We Falsely Idealize Lifetime Married Couples?

Posted by Delaine - July 30, 2011 - Deciding to Stay or Go, Making It Work, Relationships, slideshow, Social Barriers & Change, Surviving marriage lifetime happy or unhappy divorce
marriage lifetime happy or unhappy divorced 300x199  Do We Falsely Idealize Lifetime Married Couples?

Unexpected change is sweeping through the lives of some of my dearest girlfriends these days.  It has arrived wearing the face of divorce or break-up.  As a result, deep and complex conversations around the nature of love, secrecy, and commitment have ensued.  And now, for the first time in my life, I find myself seriously…

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The Real Secret of Passionate Sex

Posted by Delaine - June 3, 2011 - Relationships, Sex
passion divorce secrets relationship delaine moore2 300x198  The Real Secret of Passionate Sex

It’s a common fear among many divorced women and men – yet it’s something they oftentimes keep secret:  that is, once they start seriously dating someone, their sex life will dry up and die a painful death like it did during their marriage. Lots of us carry wounds and fears around sex and intimacy into…

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Should the Kids’ Stepdad Be Honored on Father’s Day?

Posted by Delaine - May 26, 2011 - Blended & Changing Families, Relationships
fathers day step dad celebrate divorce kids delainemoore  Should the Kids’ Stepdad Be Honored on Father’s Day?

This is a question many divorced women ask after they’ve remarried – and one that can be source of stress and fear.  After all, they don’t want to wrongly steal the spotlight from the kids’ biological father, nor do they want to upset their kids.  At the same time, however,  it seems a slap in…

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