Category: Dealing with the ex

When Men Quickly “Replace” After Separation or Divorce

Posted by Delaine - September 11, 2013 - Dealing with the ex, Fears & Challenges, Grief/ Anger, Loving & Trusting, Relationships, Surviving, Understanding Men/Women
men replace quickly after divorce  When Men Quickly “Replace” After Separation or Divorce

When Barb contacted me via email last week, she was clearly very upset.  Only six months into her divorce, she’d discovered that her separated husband had a new serious girlfriend; they were even making plans to move in together.  “It’s not that I want him back,” she wrote.  “But it’s such a slap in the face – […]

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The Frog & The Scorpion: A Fable that Stings

Posted by Delaine - February 13, 2012 - Dealing with the ex, Surviving
scorpion bully ex  The Frog & The Scorpion: A Fable that Stings

A lone scorpion was travelling across the land when he came upon a river.  Seeing a Frog in the bulrushes nearby by, he  called out: “Hey you!  Frog!   I need to get across this river.  Let me jump on your back and you can carry me across it.” The Frog fervently shook her head: “Not a CHANCE. […]

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Awkard Moment: “Kiss Mom Right Now!”

Posted by Delaine - August 2, 2011 - Children, Dealing with the ex
uncomfortable moment divorce kids ex delaine moore calgary date coach expert author2  Awkard Moment: “Kiss Mom Right Now!”

I was trading my kids with their dad this past weekend when it happened.  We’d agreed to meet just outside the gym in the mall and from there, the kids would go with him. But after I greeted him and passed over a few items he required, my 7-year-old daughter suddenly blurted out really loud. “Daddy, […]

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Critical Guidelines for Divorced and/or Remarried Parents

Posted by Delaine - February 28, 2011 - Blended & Changing Families, Children, Co-Parenting, Dealing with the ex, Parenting, Trying to Get Along
child in between parents divorce guidelines  Critical Guidelines for Divorced and/or Remarried Parents

Written by blended family expert Shirley Cress Dudley. 1- Keep contact to a minimum. One phone call a day is excessive, several text messages a day is extremely excessive. If you have a subject related to the kids, speak briefly and clearly about your expectations. Emails are better than phone calls if your issue is […]

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The #1 Thing I Wish Someone Had Told Me about Divorce

Posted by Delaine - February 1, 2011 - Children, Dealing with the ex, Grief/ Anger
divorce woman man not friends from start1 300x211  The #1 Thing I Wish Someone Had Told Me about Divorce

Don’t expect to be friends with your ex.  Not at the start anyways.  This is what I wish someone, or many people, had told me at the beginning of my divorce. I’m not saying you should expect to be enemies; no, not at all.  I’m saying you should aim for something in the middle – like a […]

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Shielding Your Kids From “The Heat” of Divorce

Posted by Delaine - December 28, 2010 - Children, Co-Parenting, Dealing with the ex, Parenting, Surviving, Trying to Get Along
hot headed divorce issues1  Shielding Your Kids From “The Heat” of Divorce

Studies have shown that it’s the ongoing hostilities between divorcing parents that really emotionally damage and traumatize children.   So how do you protect your children’s emotional well-being if divorce matters are in the Red Zone, the two of you aren’t speaking, and you can’t even stand being in the same building as him/her? You may ‘know’ you should smile and talk civilly and put […]

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“Ex” – An Ugly Little Word?

Posted by Delaine - October 6, 2010 - Dealing with the ex, Parenting, Single Dads, Single Moms, Social Barriers & Change, Surviving
ex huaband ex wife word ex divorce  “Ex” – An Ugly Little Word?

“EX-husband,”  “EX-wife,”  “The EX.”   The term “ex” is one we all use after divorce, in both our written and oral communications.  It’s something we don’t  give much thought to either – it’s just part of the English language, right?  But have you ever noticed how you feel when say it?   What about when someone ELSE uses it in conversation?  Cause […]

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Terrible Communication With The Ex: Do you ever wonder, Is It ME?

Posted by Delaine - August 3, 2010 - Dealing with the ex, Legal Matters, Surviving
frustration divorce woman1  Terrible Communication With The Ex: Do you ever wonder, Is It ME?

Have you ever a conversation with your ex where his position on issues seemed so blatantly wrong, his perception so skewed, that you sat there wondering, “Am I really off so off the mark on this?  Truly, am I too stupid to get it?   Is it ME?” Cause I have; or rather I am.  I think that overall […]

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Legal Action Can Help Mold A Child-Like Ex Into A “Better Man”

Posted by Delaine - March 2, 2010 - Dealing with the ex, Legal Matters, Surviving
divorced dad immature  Legal Action Can Help Mold A Child-Like Ex Into A “Better Man”

Sometimes dealing with an ex can feel like you’re dealing with a child:  you give and give and give….you kindly explain the same thing over and over and over again …yet still they don’t ‘get it.’ And though it’s sad to say - and painful to have to do - sometimes we have to take legal action to […]

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To Change Or Not To Change The LOCKS After Separating

Posted by Delaine - February 3, 2010 - Advice, Dealing with the ex, On being alone, Support & Girlfriends, Surviving
change locks door divorce 150x150  To Change Or Not To Change The LOCKS After Separating

Two months into his divorce, Mike returned home early from work one afternoon to a big surprise:  his ex-wife had let herself in and was standing in his living room.   “I needed to come by and pick up a few things,” she said casually.  “I tried calling you earlier.  Didn’t you get my message?  I didn’t think you’d mind…” […]

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Improve Communication With Your Ex-Spouse (BONUS: Avoid Seeing His/Her Face)

Posted by Delaine - January 8, 2010 - Co-Parenting, Dealing with the ex, Parenting, Surviving, Trying to Get Along
impossible ex1  Improve Communication With Your Ex-Spouse (BONUS: Avoid Seeing His/Her Face)

This past week, a divorcing girlfriend told me about ’collaborative software’, something her divorce mediator had recommended. Her and her ex’s parenting schedules are hectic and becoming a source of contention because of miscommunication. Moreover, she’s at the point where she really doesn’t want to see his face or talk to him if she doesn’t […]

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When the Ex Treats “Favors” Like Demands

Posted by Delaine - December 1, 2009 - Children, Dealing with the ex, Surviving
divorce demanding favors 150x150  When the Ex Treats “Favors” Like Demands

I’ve seen it happen on too many occasions to count : ex-partners making demands of their former spouses instead of treating them as the ‘favors’ they truly are.  Is their attitude in part caused by ignorance of the law and parenting?  Perhaps.  Could their demands, in part, be a control tactic?  That’s possible too; an attitude of ‘entitlement’ […]

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The Ex-Husband May Not Be as Financially Destitute as he Laments…

Posted by Delaine - October 19, 2009 - Dealing with the ex, Legal Matters, Surviving
divorced man buys house  The Ex-Husband May Not Be as Financially Destitute as he Laments…

They’ve been apart now for three years. Their divorce only became official a few months ago. And I swear to God, no word of a lie, he has lamented over how broke he is ever since they separated. But the other day, my best friend Hali, now his ex-wife, shocked me by blurting: “Guess who […]

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POWER: A Scary Reason Why Some Exes Bow Out On Time With Their Kids

Posted by Delaine - September 3, 2009 - Abuse, Children, Co-Parenting, Dealing with the ex, Parenting, Surviving, Trying to Get Along
ex abuse power  POWER: A Scary Reason Why Some Exes Bow Out On Time With Their Kids

Does this scenario rings any bells? Sue is the primary caregiver of her two children.  Her ex, Brian, is a part-time dad who pays child support and takes the kids every second weekend and one evening/week.  When they first got separated, Brian was very concerned about his limited access to the kids; he wanted them […]

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