Category: Children

Do We Put Ourselves Before Our Kids More Than We Realize?

Posted by Delaine - October 17, 2012 - Children, Co-Parenting, Parenting, Single Dads, Single Moms, Surviving
poor parenting putting ourselves before kids after divorce pain 300x203  Do We Put Ourselves Before Our Kids More Than We Realize?

It’s tough being a single parent.   And in addition to sometimes feeling draining and overwhelming, it can feel “unfair” —  like our parenting responsibilities are stealing precious time and energy from us that we’d  prefer to spend on well…ourselves.  You know – our careers, our social lives, our dating/love life, etc.  “I didn’t sign up to be a…

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Awkard Moment: “Kiss Mom Right Now!”

Posted by Delaine - August 2, 2011 - Children, Dealing with the ex
uncomfortable moment divorce kids ex delaine moore calgary date coach expert author2  Awkard Moment: “Kiss Mom Right Now!”

I was trading my kids with their dad this past weekend when it happened.  We’d agreed to meet just outside the gym in the mall and from there, the kids would go with him. But after I greeted him and passed over a few items he required, my 7-year-old daughter suddenly blurted out really loud. “Daddy,…

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As A Divorced Mom, I Know It Takes A Community to Raise A Child

Posted by Delaine - June 19, 2011 - Career & Money, Children, Financial Help for Parents, Parenting, Single Dads, Single Moms
divorce coach date coach delaine moore helping single parents 300x205  As A Divorced Mom, I Know It Takes A Community to Raise A Child

  I never really understood – at a HEART level – what the expression “It takes a community to raise a child” meant.  But now that I’m a divorced single parent, I ‘get it.’ I’ve needed to rely on other people’s help these past few years in raising my three kids:  neighbors, friends, girlfriends’ husbands,…

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I’ll Never Regret Being A Stay-at-Home Mom

Posted by Delaine - June 15, 2011 - Children, Parenting, Single Moms
stay at home mom divorced delaine moore2  I’ll Never Regret Being A Stay-at-Home Mom

There have been many times since I got divorced that I questioned how smart my decision was to be a stay-at-home mom while married.  Cause in leaving the workforce for seven years, I not only left a gap on my professional resume, it left a hole in my self-worth.  And when I divorced, I felt so vulnerable…

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Critical Guidelines for Divorced and/or Remarried Parents

Posted by Delaine - February 28, 2011 - Blended & Changing Families, Children, Co-Parenting, Dealing with the ex, Parenting, Trying to Get Along
child in between parents divorce guidelines  Critical Guidelines for Divorced and/or Remarried Parents

Written by blended family expert Shirley Cress Dudley. 1- Keep contact to a minimum. One phone call a day is excessive, several text messages a day is extremely excessive. If you have a subject related to the kids, speak briefly and clearly about your expectations. Emails are better than phone calls if your issue is…

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Do You Love Your Kids more than You Hate Your Ex?

Posted by Delaine - February 18, 2011 - Children, Grief/ Anger, Parenting, Surviving, Trying to Get Along
love hate ex children divorce 300x200  Do You Love Your Kids more than You Hate Your Ex?

Written by Shelley Stiles. During and after our divorce, we all have a strong  desire to protect our children and ensure they are safe and sound.  Most of us are familiar with the well-known strategies for achieving that goal but what it all comes down to is the question: Do you love your kids more than you…

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The #1 Thing I Wish Someone Had Told Me about Divorce

Posted by Delaine - February 1, 2011 - Children, Dealing with the ex, Grief/ Anger
divorce woman man not friends from start1 300x211  The #1 Thing I Wish Someone Had Told Me about Divorce

Don’t expect to be friends with your ex.  Not at the start anyways.  This is what I wish someone, or many people, had told me at the beginning of my divorce. I’m not saying you should expect to be enemies; no, not at all.  I’m saying you should aim for something in the middle – like a…

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Putting your children’s best interests first while dating.

Posted by Delaine - January 25, 2011 - Children, Concerns & Fears, Dating & Sex, Surviving
divorce mom sexy date again  Putting your children’s best interests first while dating.

Written by Deborah Moskovitch.   Children often have difficulty with a divorced parent’s first move into the dating world. Many children, no matter how old, fantasize about mommy and daddy getting back together and becoming part of one big happy family again. While deep down your children know thier fantasy will likely not become a reality,…

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Shielding Your Kids From “The Heat” of Divorce

Posted by Delaine - December 28, 2010 - Children, Co-Parenting, Dealing with the ex, Parenting, Surviving, Trying to Get Along
hot headed divorce issues1  Shielding Your Kids From “The Heat” of Divorce

Studies have shown that it’s the ongoing hostilities between divorcing parents that really emotionally damage and traumatize children.   So how do you protect your children’s emotional well-being if divorce matters are in the Red Zone, the two of you aren’t speaking, and you can’t even stand being in the same building as him/her? You may ‘know’ you should smile and talk civilly and put…

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Stop, Hey – What’s That Sound? Unresolved Legal Issues Pulling You Down…

Posted by Delaine - December 24, 2009 - Children, Legal Matters, Surviving
divorce affidavit1  Stop, Hey – What’s That Sound? Unresolved Legal Issues Pulling You Down…

I’m not a divorce lawyer.  But I’m a divorce expert in my own rite.  And now that I’m two years into my divorce, there’s one golden nugget of advice I’d like to pass onto those newly divorcing:  Get EVERYTHING down in writing – signed, sealed and wrapped up – otherwise, there’s a good chance you’ll be postponing the inevitable…

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Important Considerations During Divorce: What would happen to your kids IF…?

Posted by Delaine - December 15, 2009 - Children, Legal Matters, Surviving
divorced mom death accident  Important Considerations During Divorce: What would happen to your kids IF…?

This past week, Mother Nature unleashed her winter wrath up here in Calgary, Alberta.  We’re talking large dumps of snow and temperatures than hovered between -25 and -40 C  (that’s -12 to -40 F).  And though I’m accustomed to extreme weather conditions being a born and bred Canuck, something REALLY stood out for me during…

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Worries Of A Divorcing Mom: Am I Doing ‘Enough’?

Posted by Delaine - December 10, 2009 - Children, Parenting, Single Moms, Surviving
worried divorced mom enough  Worries Of A Divorcing Mom: Am I Doing ‘Enough’?

Even when I was married, I sometimes worried that I wasn’t doing ‘enough’ for my kids: Should they be involved in more activities or less? Am I too strict or not strict enough? Am I doing, saying, showing my kids enough of whatever they need to feel loved and special? We only get one shot…

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When the Ex Treats “Favors” Like Demands

Posted by Delaine - December 1, 2009 - Children, Dealing with the ex, Surviving
divorce demanding favors 150x150  When the Ex Treats “Favors” Like Demands

I’ve seen it happen on too many occasions to count : ex-partners making demands of their former spouses instead of treating them as the ‘favors’ they truly are.  Is their attitude in part caused by ignorance of the law and parenting?  Perhaps.  Could their demands, in part, be a control tactic?  That’s possible too; an attitude of ‘entitlement’…

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The Ex’s Empty Chair is Filled with Friends & Role Models for My Kids

Posted by Delaine - November 17, 2009 - Children, Parenting, Single Moms
husband left divorced mom  The Ex’s Empty Chair is Filled with Friends & Role Models for My Kids

I’ll admit, the fact that I’m a single mom to three kids with an ex who’s rarely around, has worried and terrified the hell out of me – sometimes to the point of tears or hours of depression.  Though I’ve tried desperately to make good parenting decisions, to do what’s best by my children, the Doubt Monster and…

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A Child of Divorce asks: “Are You Going to Marry Him, Mom?”

Posted by Delaine - October 1, 2009 - Children, Parenting, Single Dads, Single Moms
boy divorce family father  A Child of Divorce asks: “Are You Going to Marry Him, Mom?”

My eight-year-old son and I entered a conversation on my possibly remarrying the other day.  It came through a strange side-door.  We were walking down our street, I ahead of him, when two men walking the other way called out: “Fine fine fine, like a bottle of wine” followed by “The Whistle.” “Why did they do that Mom?”…

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Her Ex-Husband is a Bully – and Her Kids Now Bear the Brunt End of It

Posted by Delaine - September 9, 2009 - Abuse, Children, Co-Parenting, Parenting, Single Dads, Surviving
bully ex divorced mom kids  Her Ex-Husband is a Bully – and Her Kids Now Bear the Brunt End of It

Her ex was at her house doing pick up of their kids the past weekend when it happened. She and her three kids were over at the school yard finishing a quick game of soccer in the snow. Suddenly, her eldest son, now eight, tripped her daughter by accident. “Kyle,” she said to him, “You have to avoid…

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POWER: A Scary Reason Why Some Exes Bow Out On Time With Their Kids

Posted by Delaine - September 3, 2009 - Abuse, Children, Co-Parenting, Dealing with the ex, Parenting, Surviving, Trying to Get Along
ex abuse power  POWER: A Scary Reason Why Some Exes Bow Out On Time With Their Kids

Does this scenario rings any bells? Sue is the primary caregiver of her two children.  Her ex, Brian, is a part-time dad who pays child support and takes the kids every second weekend and one evening/week.  When they first got separated, Brian was very concerned about his limited access to the kids; he wanted them…

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Is It Wrong to Slam Deadbeat Dads on TV?

Posted by Delaine - June 11, 2009 - Children, Parenting, Single Dads, Social Barriers & Change
deadbeat dad effect kids11  Is It Wrong to Slam Deadbeat Dads on TV?

What do you think of the idea of a reality show that exposes fathers who refuse to pay child support?   This is what divorced dad and author Joel Schwartzberg opined on a few days ago in his article, “Is it Wrong to Slam Deadbeat Dads on TV?”  Cause apparently Lifetime TV has announced their intention…

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The Fake Smiles We Give Our Kids During Divorce – Are We REALLY Fooling Them?

Posted by Delaine - June 3, 2009 - Children, Parenting, Single Dads, Single Moms, Surviving
boy  The Fake Smiles We Give Our Kids During Divorce – Are We REALLY Fooling Them?

I love my kids more than life itself.  And since getting divorced, I’ve worked hard to ensure they not only adjusted, but thrived.    But sometimes life circumstances have beaten me down.  And my kids have seen me cry.  They’ve seen me stare out the window.  They’ve seen the shell of a woman named mom…

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Hiding Tears from the Kids: Exhausting…but Necessary

Posted by Delaine - March 14, 2009 - Children, Grief/ Anger, Legal Matters, Single Moms, Surviving
single mom hiding tears1  Hiding Tears from the Kids: Exhausting…but Necessary

A couple of days ago was the perfect example.  I returned home from custody mediation with my ex with obviously red, puffy eyes.  I came inside my house and immediately went downstairs to my office – I didn’t want my preschool daughter to see my puffy face.  But once in the privacy of my office, I sat…

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