Category: Grief/ Anger

Valentine’s Day Grump

Posted by Delaine - January 1, 2011 - Grief/ Anger, Surviving
single mom sex love1  Valentine’s Day Grump

(A Divorced Reader’s ‘FIRST’ Valentine’s Day after divorce) I admit it. This Valentine’s Day thing has me rolling my eyes. I don’t want to say it aloud to all my happily married and in-love friends. But all the dreamy romanticism of this holiday makes me want to …well…spew. I know it’s cause I’m not ready for a […]

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Disempowering Marital Sex: Two Divorced Women Reawaken

Posted by Delaine - December 30, 2010 - Between the Sheets, Dating & Sex, Grief/ Anger, Healing, Infidelity, Phases/ Stages, Surviving, Women's Sexuality
chicken small  Disempowering Marital Sex: Two Divorced Women Reawaken

Two years into Sam’s seven-year marriage, she started hating having sex with her now-ex-husband. Sex became something she ‘got over with’ to keep the peace and keep him happy. And he wanted it a lot – every day, if not twice, even though she was oftentimes pregnant, nursing, or up at night with babies/toddlers. On […]

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Resentment: Molten Lava In One’s Bones

Posted by Delaine - December 1, 2010 - Advice, Grief/ Anger, Healing, Surviving
resentment molten lava 300x197  Resentment: Molten Lava In One’s Bones

At three and a half years into my divorce, I no longer feel like I’m mourning my marriage.  The grief, the fear, the heartache of betrayal  - they lie behind me now, serving as sources of strength and wisdom, not pain.  But getting over my marriage is one thing, getting over my ex’s behavior during our divorce is another.  […]

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Song For Those Betrayed: “Jar of Hearts”

Posted by Delaine - July 21, 2010 - Grief/ Anger, Relationships, Surviving
jar of hearts christina perri 266x300  Song For Those Betrayed: “Jar of Hearts”

Three weeks ago,unknown and unsigned singer Christina Perri was working as a waitress in a Philadelphia cafe.  But by chance – or perhaps grand design  - a song she wrote called Jar of Hearts,  landed in the hands of  Stacey Tookey, a choreographer for So You Think You Can Dance.  Virtually overnight, Christina’s life has become a whirlwind of incredible […]

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Advice to Those Betrayed: Stop Comparing Yourself To ‘HER’

Posted by Delaine - July 13, 2010 - Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Support & Girlfriends
other woman mistress self esteem1  Advice to Those Betrayed: Stop Comparing Yourself To ‘HER’

Recently, I sat with my emotionally devastated friend Maddie who had just discovered her husband was having an affair.   Why?  When?  How?  Now what?  her brain raced to answer, as she felt her family dream falling to the ground in slow motion. But it didn’t take long for her to start doing what most of us women do when affairs […]

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Divorce & the Transformational Power of Emotional Pain

Posted by Delaine - February 8, 2010 - Grief/ Anger, Healing, Phases/ Stages, Surviving, Wisdom Gained
zzmalouemotion1 150x150  Divorce & the Transformational Power of Emotional Pain

By Guest Writer, Malou I have been living a life short of a fairy tale until that fateful day last year. A job, a wonderful husband, a delightful daughter, a big house complete with a garden, a whole room dedicated just for my clothes and shoes….I was a princess!! The only thing missing was a […]

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Pathways Carved By Sorrow: Working Through Divorce Grief

Posted by Delaine - January 31, 2010 - Grief/ Anger, Healing, Phases/ Stages, Surviving, Wisdom Gained
sorrow sadness divorce  Pathways Carved By Sorrow: Working Through Divorce Grief

I say without shame that over the past two years since divorcing, I’ve felt lows unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.  It wasn’t just because of experiencing infidelity, though that full-body shock and heartbreak was excruciating.  There were also many other kinds of ‘lows’: feelings of emptiness….restlessness… loneliness.  And of course the big one: FEAR. Time and time and time again, I asked […]

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Serving It Up Cold To That Lying, Cheating Bastard

Posted by Delaine - January 26, 2010 - Escaping: Books, Music, Films, Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Surviving
revenge cheating spouse  Serving It Up Cold To That Lying, Cheating Bastard

When you found out your spouse was cheating, were you obsessed with thoughts of revenge?  Throwing all his clothes in a heap on the lawn…slashing his tires…or forwarding copies of his cyber sex sessions to his entire address book?   Maybe your fantasies were more devious – perhaps they involved some Superglue and the bathroom throne.  Or maybe […]

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Anger Phase: Men’s Neediness Makes My Bloodstream Turn Cold

Posted by Delaine - December 9, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Grief/ Anger, Phases/ Stages, Surviving
6a010536f43000970c01156efb3a4f970c 800wi  Anger Phase:  Men’s Neediness Makes My Bloodstream Turn Cold

I’ve noticed a new tendency emerging in how I deal with men I date. And before I proceed, let me reiterate that I tell every man I date, straight out, that I’m NOT looking for serious; I’m NOT READY. So what happens is that when I’m having a conversation with a man and I perceive ‘neediness’ on […]

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You Can’t Rush Your Learning – Even If You’re Convinced You’re Ready

Posted by Delaine - December 3, 2009 - Advice, Grief/ Anger, Healing, Legal Matters, Phases/ Stages, Surviving
rush personal growth divorce2 300x300  You Can’t Rush Your Learning – Even If You’re Convinced You’re Ready

Over the past year, most of my divorcing friends have found new partners and seemingly established lovely new lives. And I’ve wondered: Why is it taking longer for me? I mean, I crawled and slashed my way out of Rock Bottom, diligently performed my internal housekeeping, and grew and stretched spiritually in so many positive […]

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A Divorced Mom’s Prayer: May There Be Angels Beneath The Support Beams of My Life

Posted by Delaine - June 23, 2009 - Grief/ Anger, Surviving
divorced family coping 150x150  A Divorced Mom’s Prayer: May There Be Angels Beneath The Support Beams of My Life

Chaos.  The external components of my life keep shifting…giving way…breaking.  In my mind’s eye I see the support beams of a house built over water, cracking…adjusting…dangling.  Yet I know, I know that that house is ME: my bones, my soul, my reality.  My muscles tense with anger.  I’m gripping, hanging on, protesting.  I am strong, […]

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Hiding Tears from the Kids: Exhausting…but Necessary

Posted by Delaine - March 14, 2009 - Children, Grief/ Anger, Legal Matters, Single Moms, Surviving
single mom hiding tears1  Hiding Tears from the Kids: Exhausting…but Necessary

A couple of days ago was the perfect example.  I returned home from custody mediation with my ex with obviously red, puffy eyes.  I came inside my house and immediately went downstairs to my office – I didn’t want my preschool daughter to see my puffy face.  But once in the privacy of my office, I sat […]

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Passion, Anger & A BeeBopping Minivan

Posted by Delaine - March 5, 2009 - Grief/ Anger, Surviving
6a010536f43000970c0112791aba7628a4 800wi  Passion, Anger & A BeeBopping Minivan

Wow. OK. So get this:  I’d just spent a half-hour talking to my lawyer around a flaming issue between me and my ex. Under her counsel, I then wrote my ex an email (with shaking hands), and fired it off just in time to race out the door: I had to pick up my daughter […]

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Cheating Spouse: Should You Get REVENGE?

Posted by Delaine - January 15, 2009 - Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Surviving
angry woman small  Cheating Spouse: Should You Get REVENGE?

Keying his car doors.  Burning his clothes.  Emptying his bank account.  Posting photos/ love letters of his affair all over the internet.  Telling his boss and all his friends…   We’ve all heard the expression “Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn.”   Infidelity is one sure way to bring it on.  Betrayal hurts like hell.

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