Category: Grief/ Anger

What's It REALLY Like to Have An Affair?

Posted by Delaine - April 11, 2015 - Advice, Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Phases/ Stages, Relationships, Surviving
dating separated men problems challenges how to1 300x200  What

It was my deepest, darkest secret – something that nourished me, tortured me, yet ultimately tore my family apart:  After seven years of marriage, the birth of three kids, and weathering the emotional storm of my husband’s infidelity, I made the choice to have an affair. Now I’m not revealing this today as some kind of…

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When Men Quickly “Replace” After Separation or Divorce

Posted by Delaine - September 11, 2013 - Dealing with the ex, Fears & Challenges, Grief/ Anger, Loving & Trusting, Relationships, Surviving, Understanding Men/Women
men replace quickly after divorce  When Men Quickly “Replace” After Separation or Divorce

When Barb contacted me via email last week, she was clearly very upset.  Only six months into her divorce, she’d discovered that her separated husband had a new serious girlfriend; they were even making plans to move in together.  “It’s not that I want him back,” she wrote.  “But it’s such a slap in the face –…

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Colored Blue this Valentine’s Day Season: What to do with Sadness?

Posted by Delaine - January 22, 2012 - Advice, Grief/ Anger, Healing, slideshow, Wisdom Gained
blues valentines day sadness divorce breakup3 300x253  Colored Blue this Valentine’s Day Season: What to do with Sadness?

This Valentine’s Day season is turning out to be a tough one for many of my readers.  Letters are steadily trickling in, speaking of break-ups, heart-ache, sadness, and overwhelm. Everyone is looking for reprieve – to break free of the pain, to feel their smile,  at the very least, to hold onto hope.   I offer up ‘tips’ to some readers, suggestions on…

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Coping Tips To Get Through Valentine’s Day

Posted by Delaine - January 15, 2012 - Advice, Grief/ Anger, Healing, Surviving
default  Coping Tips To Get Through Valentine’s Day

I have been through four Valentine’s Days since I got divorced.  And I’ve been all over the map emotionally: sad.  Indifferent.  Self-pitying.  Grumpy (read this from the archives!).  At other times however, I was happy and excited, as I learned to cope with this season of love and romance in new and different ways. Thus…

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He said: “Why have a girlfriend when I have a maid?”

Posted by Delaine - January 2, 2012 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Grief/ Anger, Relationships, Understanding Men/Women
divorced man needs maid not girlfriend delaine moore  He said: “Why have a girlfriend when I have a maid?”

Though I don’t know my friend Tim really well, I’ve always held him in high regard.   He’s smart, he’s personable and he’s also very kind: he’s rescued me numerous times when I was faced with household and car repairs! The other day, however, I got to thinking that it seemed strange  that he was still single.  I mean, I knew he was…

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A Good Cry On A Saturday Morning

Posted by Delaine - June 13, 2011 - Grief/ Anger, Phases/ Stages, Time Without Kids
delaine moore crying overwhelm divorce calgary alberta  A Good Cry On A Saturday Morning

So I’d planned to spend this morning – this lovely Saturday morning – being super productive and getting work done.  I have two chapters of book edits sitting in my inbox from my developmental editor which I haven’t touched in days.  And I have important errands to run, that can no longer be postponed. It’s…

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Never-Again Heart Break: It’ll NEVER Hurt So Bad Again

Posted by Delaine - May 30, 2011 - Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Phases/ Stages, Wisdom Gained
never again heart break divorce delaine moore sm 300x263  Never-Again Heart Break: It’ll NEVER Hurt So Bad Again

I was thinking about ‘heart break’ this weekend.  Not because I’m sad or because I’ve recently been hurt by someone. Rather, it’s cause I made the peaceful realization that I will never again hurt in this life because of a man, as deeply as I did when I discovered my ex-husband was having an affair. I’m not saying I’ve built…

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Happy or Hurting? The Face Men Wear During Divorce

Posted by Delaine - May 23, 2011 - Advice, Grief/ Anger, Healing, Surviving
divorcing man help sad angry trying to move on  Happy or Hurting?  The Face Men Wear During Divorce

Men and women are wired differently. They communicate differently, they process information differently, they cope with stress differently AND – they process feelings of grief differently, including those that stem from divorce. On the heels of last week’s video where I explored how women commonly cope with their feelings of loss after divorce, this week I’m…

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Do You Love Your Kids more than You Hate Your Ex?

Posted by Delaine - February 18, 2011 - Children, Grief/ Anger, Parenting, Surviving, Trying to Get Along
love hate ex children divorce 300x200  Do You Love Your Kids more than You Hate Your Ex?

Written by Shelley Stiles. During and after our divorce, we all have a strong  desire to protect our children and ensure they are safe and sound.  Most of us are familiar with the well-known strategies for achieving that goal but what it all comes down to is the question: Do you love your kids more than you…

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The #1 Thing I Wish Someone Had Told Me about Divorce

Posted by Delaine - February 1, 2011 - Children, Dealing with the ex, Grief/ Anger
divorce woman man not friends from start1 300x211  The #1 Thing I Wish Someone Had Told Me about Divorce

Don’t expect to be friends with your ex.  Not at the start anyways.  This is what I wish someone, or many people, had told me at the beginning of my divorce. I’m not saying you should expect to be enemies; no, not at all.  I’m saying you should aim for something in the middle – like a…

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Survival Mode: “Existing” Post Infidelity & Divorce

Posted by Delaine - January 19, 2011 - Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Surviving
divorce grief wilderness pa  Survival Mode: “Existing” Post Infidelity & Divorce

“Hang tough Delaine – things are going to better.   You really are better without him…” Many, many times I heard these words from girlfriends when I found out my ex was cheating.  I knew they were right, that at some point things HAD to get better.  But while in the throes of my grief, those words felt…

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Anger & Mistrust of Men: Have Your Walls Become Your Prison?

Posted by Delaine - January 9, 2011 - Fears & Challenges, Grief/ Anger, Healing, Infidelity, Relationships, Wisdom Gained
divorced woman walls bitterness1  Anger & Mistrust of Men: Have Your Walls Become Your Prison?

Do you ever wonder if divorce and/or infidelity have ‘hardened’ you?  I don’t mean ‘hardened’ as in “made you stronger.”  I mean as in, “encased you in a shell of mistrust and bitterness towards the opposite sex.” Cause that’s what happened to me; I wasn’t even conscious of it at the time.  Truth is, to this day, I still sometimes struggle with…

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Emotional Awareness: Tips For Dealing with Anger During Divorce

Posted by Delaine - January 1, 2011 - Grief/ Anger, Surviving
divorced woman anger tips  Emotional Awareness: Tips For Dealing with Anger During Divorce

Anger is a stage in grief and divorce recovery. Honoring your anger is important as long as it isn’t damaging to you and those you love. Learning how to handle anger in productive and healthy ways is very important to your recovery and your mental health. Don’t hold your anger in or think that anger…

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Resentment: Molten Lava In One’s Bones

Posted by Delaine - December 1, 2010 - Advice, Grief/ Anger, Healing, Surviving
resentment molten lava 300x197  Resentment: Molten Lava In One’s Bones

At three and a half years into my divorce, I no longer feel like I’m mourning my marriage.  The grief, the fear, the heartache of betrayal  – they lie behind me now, serving as sources of strength and wisdom, not pain.  But getting over my marriage is one thing, getting over my ex’s behavior during our divorce is another. …

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Song For Those Betrayed: “Jar of Hearts”

Posted by Delaine - July 21, 2010 - Grief/ Anger, Relationships, Surviving
jar of hearts christina perri 266x300  Song For Those Betrayed: “Jar of Hearts”

Three weeks ago,unknown and unsigned singer Christina Perri was working as a waitress in a Philadelphia cafe.  But by chance – or perhaps grand design  – a song she wrote called Jar of Hearts,  landed in the hands of  Stacey Tookey, a choreographer for So You Think You Can Dance.  Virtually overnight, Christina’s life has become a whirlwind of incredible…

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Advice to Those Betrayed: Stop Comparing Yourself To ‘HER’

Posted by Delaine - July 13, 2010 - Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Support & Girlfriends
other woman mistress self esteem1  Advice to Those Betrayed: Stop Comparing Yourself To ‘HER’

Recently, I sat with my emotionally devastated friend Maddie who had just discovered her husband was having an affair.   Why?  When?  How?  Now what?  her brain raced to answer, as she felt her family dream falling to the ground in slow motion. But it didn’t take long for her to start doing what most of us women do when affairs…

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Divorce & the Transformational Power of Emotional Pain

Posted by Delaine - February 8, 2010 - Grief/ Anger, Healing, Phases/ Stages, Surviving, Wisdom Gained
zzmalouemotion1 150x150  Divorce & the Transformational Power of Emotional Pain

By Guest Writer, Malou I have been living a life short of a fairy tale until that fateful day last year. A job, a wonderful husband, a delightful daughter, a big house complete with a garden, a whole room dedicated just for my clothes and shoes….I was a princess!! The only thing missing was a…

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Pathways Carved By Sorrow: Working Through Divorce Grief

Posted by Delaine - January 31, 2010 - Grief/ Anger, Healing, Phases/ Stages, Surviving, Wisdom Gained
sorrow sadness divorce  Pathways Carved By Sorrow: Working Through Divorce Grief

I say without shame that over the past two years since divorcing, I’ve felt lows unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.  It wasn’t just because of experiencing infidelity, though that full-body shock and heartbreak was excruciating.  There were also many other kinds of ‘lows’: feelings of emptiness….restlessness… loneliness.  And of course the big one: FEAR. Time and time and time again, I asked…

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Serving It Up Cold To That Lying, Cheating Bastard

Posted by Delaine - January 26, 2010 - Escaping: Books, Music, Films, Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Surviving
revenge cheating spouse  Serving It Up Cold To That Lying, Cheating Bastard

When you found out your spouse was cheating, were you obsessed with thoughts of revenge?  Throwing all his clothes in a heap on the lawn…slashing his tires…or forwarding copies of his cyber sex sessions to his entire address book?   Maybe your fantasies were more devious – perhaps they involved some Superglue and the bathroom throne.  Or maybe…

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Anger Phase: Men’s Neediness Makes My Bloodstream Turn Cold

Posted by Delaine - December 9, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Grief/ Anger, Phases/ Stages, Surviving
6a010536f43000970c01156efb3a4f970c 800wi  Anger Phase:  Men’s Neediness Makes My Bloodstream Turn Cold

I’ve noticed a new tendency emerging in how I deal with men I date. And before I proceed, let me reiterate that I tell every man I date, straight out, that I’m NOT looking for serious; I’m NOT READY. So what happens is that when I’m having a conversation with a man and I perceive ‘neediness’ on…

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