Category: Surviving

What's It REALLY Like to Have An Affair?

Posted by Delaine - April 11, 2015 - Advice, Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Phases/ Stages, Relationships, Surviving
dating separated men problems challenges how to1 300x200  What

It was my deepest, darkest secret – something that nourished me, tortured me, yet ultimately tore my family apart:  After seven years of marriage, the birth of three kids, and weathering the emotional storm of my husband’s infidelity, I made the choice to have an affair. Now I’m not revealing this today as some kind of…

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7 Alternatives to Divorce

Posted by Delaine - October 31, 2014 - Deciding to Stay or Go
133539422 1024x683  7 Alternatives to Divorce

No, divorce is not your only option.  I tell this to my clients over and over.  Numerous alternatives are available to you, and how they’re structured depends on how flexible you are as a couple are, as well as how great your desire is to be together.  They’re definitely worth considering before resorting to divorce. Separate…

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The Cheater & His Self-Loathing

Posted by Delaine - March 22, 2014 - Healing, Infidelity, Surviving, Wisdom Gained
cheating man self hate loathing  The Cheater & His Self-Loathing

FROM THE ARCHIVES 2009 You my not see it.   But it’s there… deep within him. It is beyond his admission, beyond his self-awareness. But it’s there,  eating away at his soul… His self-loathing. He may seem all blissfully happy-in-love with her; look at that skip in his step. That skips says that he wants nothing…

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When Men Quickly “Replace” After Separation or Divorce

Posted by Delaine - September 11, 2013 - Dealing with the ex, Fears & Challenges, Grief/ Anger, Loving & Trusting, Relationships, Surviving, Understanding Men/Women
men replace quickly after divorce  When Men Quickly “Replace” After Separation or Divorce

When Barb contacted me via email last week, she was clearly very upset.  Only six months into her divorce, she’d discovered that her separated husband had a new serious girlfriend; they were even making plans to move in together.  “It’s not that I want him back,” she wrote.  “But it’s such a slap in the face –…

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When Divorced Girlfriends Offend: Too Quick to Criticize Love & Men?

Posted by Delaine - October 23, 2012 - Fears & Challenges, Loving & Trusting, Making It Work, Midlife Divorce, Relationships, Social Barriers & Change, Support & Girlfriends, Surviving
good intentions divorced girlfriends hurt  When Divorced Girlfriends Offend: Too Quick to Criticize Love & Men?

Recently a divorced woman named Sue found herself in a “gross” conversation with her divorced griflriends.  Not “gross” as in the subject matter was lude or disgusting; rather, the conversation left her feeling gross.  For  somehow, her friends’ conversation had shifted to her relationship with her boyfriend —  and as she put it, “It was like…

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Do We Put Ourselves Before Our Kids More Than We Realize?

Posted by Delaine - October 17, 2012 - Children, Co-Parenting, Parenting, Single Dads, Single Moms, Surviving
poor parenting putting ourselves before kids after divorce pain 300x203  Do We Put Ourselves Before Our Kids More Than We Realize?

It’s tough being a single parent.   And in addition to sometimes feeling draining and overwhelming, it can feel “unfair” —  like our parenting responsibilities are stealing precious time and energy from us that we’d  prefer to spend on well…ourselves.  You know – our careers, our social lives, our dating/love life, etc.  “I didn’t sign up to be a…

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Giant Robot Fight: The Contested Litigation Divorce

Posted by Delaine - June 11, 2012 - Legal Matters, Surviving
robot battles divorce litigation expensive brutal1 300x168  Giant Robot Fight: The Contested Litigation Divorce

By Sloan Carson, Family Law Attorney Without a doubt, some of us going through divorce should be hiring attorneys and sending them to war against each other in a courtroom.  Our marriages are just that bad; there’s simply no middle ground or agreements to be had with our soon-to-be exes. But for the vast majority of us — even some…

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The Frog & The Scorpion: A Fable that Stings

Posted by Delaine - February 13, 2012 - Dealing with the ex, Surviving
scorpion bully ex  The Frog & The Scorpion: A Fable that Stings

A lone scorpion was travelling across the land when he came upon a river.  Seeing a Frog in the bulrushes nearby by, he  called out: “Hey you!  Frog!   I need to get across this river.  Let me jump on your back and you can carry me across it.” The Frog fervently shook her head: “Not a CHANCE.…

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Colored Blue this Valentine’s Day Season: What to do with Sadness?

Posted by Delaine - January 22, 2012 - Advice, Grief/ Anger, Healing, slideshow, Wisdom Gained
blues valentines day sadness divorce breakup3 300x253  Colored Blue this Valentine’s Day Season: What to do with Sadness?

This Valentine’s Day season is turning out to be a tough one for many of my readers.  Letters are steadily trickling in, speaking of break-ups, heart-ache, sadness, and overwhelm. Everyone is looking for reprieve – to break free of the pain, to feel their smile,  at the very least, to hold onto hope.   I offer up ‘tips’ to some readers, suggestions on…

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Coping Tips To Get Through Valentine’s Day

Posted by Delaine - January 15, 2012 - Advice, Grief/ Anger, Healing, Surviving
default  Coping Tips To Get Through Valentine’s Day

I have been through four Valentine’s Days since I got divorced.  And I’ve been all over the map emotionally: sad.  Indifferent.  Self-pitying.  Grumpy (read this from the archives!).  At other times however, I was happy and excited, as I learned to cope with this season of love and romance in new and different ways. Thus…

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He said: “Why have a girlfriend when I have a maid?”

Posted by Delaine - January 2, 2012 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Grief/ Anger, Relationships, Understanding Men/Women
divorced man needs maid not girlfriend delaine moore  He said: “Why have a girlfriend when I have a maid?”

Though I don’t know my friend Tim really well, I’ve always held him in high regard.   He’s smart, he’s personable and he’s also very kind: he’s rescued me numerous times when I was faced with household and car repairs! The other day, however, I got to thinking that it seemed strange  that he was still single.  I mean, I knew he was…

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Divorced Women: Do You Have a Role Model From A Different Generation?

Posted by Delaine - September 25, 2011 - Midlife Divorce, Social Barriers & Change, Support & Girlfriends
mother daughter divorced1  Divorced Women: Do You Have a Role Model From A Different Generation?

At 66 years old, my mom is a real firecracker. This woman has so much energy, she makes 20 year olds look like slugs.  But much more than that, mom is confident.  She’s generous beyond belief.  She’s sexy.  Has taken great care of herself.  And she spends her days either working 10 hour shifts in the hospital or…

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“The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom”

Posted by Delaine - September 6, 2011 - Between the Sheets, Concerns & Fears, Cougars & Single Moms, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Infidelity, Internet Dating, Longing...and Learning, On Writing My Book, Sexual Issues & Kinks, Social Barriers & Change, Strong Mind & Spirit, Women's Sexuality
secret life of a newly single mother delaine moore mars venus coach calgary 300x258  “The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom”

So I’m knee-deep into the publishing process on my upcoming memoir, which is slated for release in Spring 2012. And my publisher, which is the feminist publisher Seal Press, has changed the title of it.  It’s now: The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom. (gulp)….A little more in-your-face than its original title,  “A Woman’s…

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Awkard Moment: “Kiss Mom Right Now!”

Posted by Delaine - August 2, 2011 - Children, Dealing with the ex
uncomfortable moment divorce kids ex delaine moore calgary date coach expert author2  Awkard Moment: “Kiss Mom Right Now!”

I was trading my kids with their dad this past weekend when it happened.  We’d agreed to meet just outside the gym in the mall and from there, the kids would go with him. But after I greeted him and passed over a few items he required, my 7-year-old daughter suddenly blurted out really loud. “Daddy,…

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Do We Falsely Idealize Lifetime Married Couples?

Posted by Delaine - July 30, 2011 - Deciding to Stay or Go, Making It Work, Relationships, slideshow, Social Barriers & Change, Surviving marriage lifetime happy or unhappy divorce
marriage lifetime happy or unhappy divorced 300x199  Do We Falsely Idealize Lifetime Married Couples?

Unexpected change is sweeping through the lives of some of my dearest girlfriends these days.  It has arrived wearing the face of divorce or break-up.  As a result, deep and complex conversations around the nature of love, secrecy, and commitment have ensued.  And now, for the first time in my life, I find myself seriously…

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Changing Your Name After Divorce

Posted by Delaine - July 10, 2011 - Career & Money, Career Growth & Change, Legal Matters, Midlife Divorce, Surviving
name change divorce delaine moore2  Changing Your Name After Divorce

By Certified Credit Counsellor, Suzanne Cramer While changing your name is often not a priority in the throws of a divorce, somewhere along the line you may find you want to change your name. Changing your name marks a new beginning or a return to the former you; it may not only make you feel better,…

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Fast or Slow: Consider All Options When It Comes to Divorce

Posted by Delaine - June 21, 2011 - Career & Money, Legal Matters, Managing Money
delaine moore long road short road divorce2 300x207  Fast or Slow: Consider All Options When It Comes to Divorce

By I Am Divorced Not Dead’s recommended Certified Credit Counsellor, Suzanne Cramer As I began the journey through my second divorce, I found myself older and wiser than the first time around. I did considerably more research, including knowing my options when it came to the proceedings. With our current economic conditions, everyone is looking to…

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As A Divorced Mom, I Know It Takes A Community to Raise A Child

Posted by Delaine - June 19, 2011 - Career & Money, Children, Financial Help for Parents, Parenting, Single Dads, Single Moms
divorce coach date coach delaine moore helping single parents 300x205  As A Divorced Mom, I Know It Takes A Community to Raise A Child

  I never really understood – at a HEART level – what the expression “It takes a community to raise a child” meant.  But now that I’m a divorced single parent, I ‘get it.’ I’ve needed to rely on other people’s help these past few years in raising my three kids:  neighbors, friends, girlfriends’ husbands,…

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I’ll Never Regret Being A Stay-at-Home Mom

Posted by Delaine - June 15, 2011 - Children, Parenting, Single Moms
stay at home mom divorced delaine moore2  I’ll Never Regret Being A Stay-at-Home Mom

There have been many times since I got divorced that I questioned how smart my decision was to be a stay-at-home mom while married.  Cause in leaving the workforce for seven years, I not only left a gap on my professional resume, it left a hole in my self-worth.  And when I divorced, I felt so vulnerable…

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A Good Cry On A Saturday Morning

Posted by Delaine - June 13, 2011 - Grief/ Anger, Phases/ Stages, Time Without Kids
delaine moore crying overwhelm divorce calgary alberta  A Good Cry On A Saturday Morning

So I’d planned to spend this morning – this lovely Saturday morning – being super productive and getting work done.  I have two chapters of book edits sitting in my inbox from my developmental editor which I haven’t touched in days.  And I have important errands to run, that can no longer be postponed. It’s…

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