Category: Phases/ Stages

What's It REALLY Like to Have An Affair?

Posted by Delaine - April 11, 2015 - Advice, Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Phases/ Stages, Relationships, Surviving
dating separated men problems challenges how to1 300x200  What

It was my deepest, darkest secret – something that nourished me, tortured me, yet ultimately tore my family apart:  After seven years of marriage, the birth of three kids, and weathering the emotional storm of my husband’s infidelity, I made the choice to have an affair. Now I’m not revealing this today as some kind of…

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The Many Degrees of ‘Man Craziness': Is It time to Break the Habit?

Posted by Delaine - November 3, 2014 - Concerns & Fears, Dating & Sex, Longing...and Learning, Phases/ Stages
divorced woman man crazy obsessed delaine moore dating  The Many Degrees of ‘Man Craziness

A lot of divorced women – myself included – go through a ‘man crazy’ phase in the aftermath of divorce. By ‘man-crazy’ I mean some part of them is always thinking about, worried about, or eagerly daydreaming about some guy they plan to meet, want to meet, or hope to meet. There are many different…

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Loving Again After Divorce: I Admit It – I’m Afraid

Posted by Delaine - March 25, 2014 - Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Healing, Longing...and Learning, Loving & Trusting, Phases/ Stages, Relationships
divorce fear of love1  Loving Again After Divorce: I Admit It – I’m Afraid

From year two post-divorce… A close male friend of mine, one whose opinion I value greatly, keeps telling me:  Gypsy (his nickname for me), you are so afraid to fall in love.  You’ve built walls to protect yourself and keep men out, but you must be careful not to become your own prisoner. Immediately I…

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Ask Coach Delaine: “Why is my newly-divorced boyfriend retreating from me?”

Posted by Delaine - September 27, 2013 - Concerns & Fears, Dating & Sex, Fears & Challenges, Healing, Loving & Trusting, Phases/ Stages, Relationships, Single Dads, slideshow divorced man happy or hurting divorce moving on coping
divorcing man help sad angry trying to move on  Ask Coach Delaine: “Why is my newly-divorced boyfriend retreating from me?”

Question: Hello Delaine, I have been happily dating a separated man for the past year as he finished up his divorce.  His divorce was finally finalized last month. They were married for over 20 years and according to him, it wasn’t a good marriage. I’ve noticed, however, that ever since the divorce came through, he’s…

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8 Flashing Warning Signs: Dating The Separated Man

Posted by Delaine - April 30, 2013 - Concerns & Fears, Cougars & Single Moms, Dating & Sex, Phases/ Stages, Understanding Men/Women
mars venus alien2  8 Flashing Warning Signs: Dating The Separated Man

He says his marriage is long over.  He says he’s ready to date again.  But would it be wise for you – a woman who is ultimately seeking a serious relationship – to throw caution to the wind and dive right in? I’d definitely say, “No way.” Getting involved with a separated man usually comes…

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Is Your Dating Mindset SMART or Self-Sabotaging?

Posted by Delaine - February 27, 2012 - Between the Sheets, Concerns & Fears, Cougars & Single Moms, Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating, Longing...and Learning, Phases/ Stages, slideshow, Support & Girlfriends, Understanding Men/Women, Women's Sexuality dating help after divorce women
smart dating logo 8 275x300  Is Your Dating Mindset SMART or Self-Sabotaging?

On the heels of recent  letters I’ve received from divorced women –  many who’d just finished reading my memoir –  it really struck me how we all share many of the same fears and challenges as we attempt to date after divorce:  How do I know I’m ready, how do I handle rejection, how do…

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“I Love You”: To Say or Not to Say

Posted by Delaine - January 24, 2012 - Fears & Challenges, Longing...and Learning, Loving & Trusting, Phases/ Stages, Relationships
man woman i love you after divorce2 300x201  “I Love You”: To Say or Not to Say

Thinking back to my twenties, I remember I said the words “I love you” very soon in my relationships with men.  The “love feelings” would overwhelm me: the closeness, the intimacy, the peace of feeling cared for and apart from the rest of the world.  The warmth and power of these feelings would fill my chest, sometimes to the…

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“I Don’t Need A Man” – I’m Calling BS On This Catch Phrase

Posted by Delaine - September 28, 2011 - Healing, On being alone, Phases/ Stages, Understanding Men/Women
divorced woman rejecting men  “I Don’t Need A Man” – I’m Calling BS On This Catch Phrase

Over the past three years since I got divorced, it is by far THE most popular statement I’ve heard from women: “I don’t need a man”.  And it’s been said with passion.  Power.  Ownership.  As if it’s been EARNED.   And I’ve heard it all over the place: from dinners with girlfriends…to dating sites…. to here…

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A Good Cry On A Saturday Morning

Posted by Delaine - June 13, 2011 - Grief/ Anger, Phases/ Stages, Time Without Kids
delaine moore crying overwhelm divorce calgary alberta  A Good Cry On A Saturday Morning

So I’d planned to spend this morning – this lovely Saturday morning – being super productive and getting work done.  I have two chapters of book edits sitting in my inbox from my developmental editor which I haven’t touched in days.  And I have important errands to run, that can no longer be postponed. It’s…

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Never-Again Heart Break: It’ll NEVER Hurt So Bad Again

Posted by Delaine - May 30, 2011 - Grief/ Anger, Infidelity, Phases/ Stages, Wisdom Gained
never again heart break divorce delaine moore sm 300x263  Never-Again Heart Break: It’ll NEVER Hurt So Bad Again

I was thinking about ‘heart break’ this weekend.  Not because I’m sad or because I’ve recently been hurt by someone. Rather, it’s cause I made the peaceful realization that I will never again hurt in this life because of a man, as deeply as I did when I discovered my ex-husband was having an affair. I’m not saying I’ve built…

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Reclaim Your Space after Divorce

Posted by Delaine - March 6, 2011 - Healing, On being alone, Phases/ Stages
comfy home divorce  Reclaim Your Space after Divorce

Written by Deborah Moskovitch.   It was a dream-like experience. Upon returning from a weekend away with our children, the bedroom closets were empty—my husband, now my ex, had moved out. He took the fabulous living room furniture that we had purchased not that long ago.  My world was changing. The reality was, I wanted to…

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My Admiration and Appreciation of Men

Posted by Delaine - February 16, 2011 - Healing, Phases/ Stages, Understanding Men/Women
divorced woman melting heart open to live  My Admiration and Appreciation of Men

It’s happening; I’ve reached a point where I no longer wish to block it.  The ice around my heart is melting…and I’mfeeling my ‘need’ for a man again. It has taken four years of being single to arrive at this place.  It has required I first learn how to be happy on my own.  But now I want…

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How far should we go to make a relationship work because of great sex?

Posted by Delaine - January 21, 2011 - Deciding to Stay or Go, Healing, Making It Work, Phases/ Stages, Relationships, Surviving
passionate sex ex divorce  How far should we go to make a relationship work because of great sex?

Contributed by Peter Ehrlich. I’m haunted by my Ex Katherine. Not by that went wrong with our relationship, but what went right with our relationship – our love life. After being laid naked, fetal-positioned, paralyzed, and wanting by our breakup, I want to attempt a sequel with my Ex.  I am willing to work harder…

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Blast From the Past: Reconnecting With A Long-Long-Ago Flame

Posted by Delaine - January 13, 2011 - Healing, Phases/ Stages, Wisdom Gained
divorced woman highschool college boyfriend  Blast From the Past: Reconnecting With A Long-Long-Ago Flame

Recently I flew to my former hometown of Ottawa, Ontario to visit my family.  And while  there, I experienced something that I bet happens to a lot of divorced women and men: I met up for drinks with an old flame – a boyfriend I hadn’t seen in some 15 years.   Meeting with him wasn’t something I’d…

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I’m The Primary Shareholder of my Heart

Posted by Delaine - December 21, 2010 - Dating & Sex, Healing, Phases/ Stages, Wisdom Gained, Women's Sexuality
heart shareholder divorced mom 300x225  I’m The Primary Shareholder of my Heart

When it comes to my dating and sex life, my BRAIN now sits in the driver’s seat, NOT my heart. Sound cold? Perhaps. Self-defensive? Could be. But to me, not only does it feel right, it feels empowering. And sometimes I swear I’ve heard my angels say, “Thank GOD she finally got it!” Ever since…

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Another Big Life Passage Is Upon This Full-time Divorced Mom

Posted by Delaine - September 28, 2010 - Career & Money, Career Growth & Change, Healing, Identity, Parenting, Phases/ Stages, Single Moms, Strong Mind & Spirit, Time Without Kids
divorce evolution woman1  Another Big Life Passage Is Upon This Full-time Divorced Mom

Three weeks ago, the youngest of my three children started school full time.  And as she disappeared into the school with a brave look on her face, I stood in the school yard waiting for ‘it’ to hit me: sadness…or at least nostalgia.  I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for ten years after all… But I had tears.  No…

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Divorce & the Transformational Power of Emotional Pain

Posted by Delaine - February 8, 2010 - Grief/ Anger, Healing, Phases/ Stages, Surviving, Wisdom Gained
zzmalouemotion1 150x150  Divorce & the Transformational Power of Emotional Pain

By Guest Writer, Malou I have been living a life short of a fairy tale until that fateful day last year. A job, a wonderful husband, a delightful daughter, a big house complete with a garden, a whole room dedicated just for my clothes and shoes….I was a princess!! The only thing missing was a…

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Pathways Carved By Sorrow: Working Through Divorce Grief

Posted by Delaine - January 31, 2010 - Grief/ Anger, Healing, Phases/ Stages, Surviving, Wisdom Gained
sorrow sadness divorce  Pathways Carved By Sorrow: Working Through Divorce Grief

I say without shame that over the past two years since divorcing, I’ve felt lows unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.  It wasn’t just because of experiencing infidelity, though that full-body shock and heartbreak was excruciating.  There were also many other kinds of ‘lows’: feelings of emptiness….restlessness… loneliness.  And of course the big one: FEAR. Time and time and time again, I asked…

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Redo and Reclaim The Master Bedroom After Divorce – Why & How

Posted by Delaine - January 12, 2010 - Advice, Healing, On being alone, Phases/ Stages
bedroom redo divorce 2 150x150  Redo and Reclaim The Master Bedroom After Divorce – Why & How

Within months of separating from my ex two years ago, I suddenly felt an incredible need to redecorate the master bedroom.   I’m not sure if I did it more as a mental distraction at the time, or if some unconscious part of me knew I needed  to ‘get him out of there” and make a new space…

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Anger Phase: Men’s Neediness Makes My Bloodstream Turn Cold

Posted by Delaine - December 9, 2009 - Dating & Sex, Grief/ Anger, Phases/ Stages, Surviving
6a010536f43000970c01156efb3a4f970c 800wi  Anger Phase:  Men’s Neediness Makes My Bloodstream Turn Cold

I’ve noticed a new tendency emerging in how I deal with men I date. And before I proceed, let me reiterate that I tell every man I date, straight out, that I’m NOT looking for serious; I’m NOT READY. So what happens is that when I’m having a conversation with a man and I perceive ‘neediness’ on…

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