Beware the Loose, Wrinkly, Lopsided Vulva!
So apparently the look and feel of our vulvas/vaginas are one more thing we’re to concern ouserlves with as we reconstruct our lives and selves after divorce.
Haven’t you heard? We’re supposed to be as pretty and symmetrical as a text-book drawing. Are you a little one-sided? Stretched out? Perhaps a little dangly?
Well welcome the labioplasto – a delightful flesh-carving procedure that ‘re-sculpts’ your labia. Now you can lie back and spread your legs for any man with pride.
Vagina too big? Saggy? Wrinkly? Tsk tsk, you childbearing women. Welcome the vaginoplasti, a totally invasive way of removing some of that vaginal tissue. To heck with kegels – don’t bother strengthening your muscles back into shape the natural way. You should be smaller and tighter damn it - small enough for even the teesiest of penises.
Now…about your G-spot orgasm. (If you’re one of the lucky 25% of women who have them.) Apparently you need a bit more umph! How about some collagen injected into your G-spot. What’s that? True…there isn’t such a thing as actual G-‘spot’. But that cluster of glands around the urethra? That target zone is good enough – this shot will make it BIGGER. How long does it last? Three months.
Yes, only three months. But it’ll be oh so worth the major explosion it causes.
Risks, smisks, why be so serious? Don’t you want to have the perfect looking/feeling pussy? Don’t you want to satisfy your man and prevent any nightmares of being swallowed by a gigantic vagina?
Alright. So there’s one major one – the possibility of having pain and numbness for the rest of your life. But so what. Don’t you want to look and feel ‘perfect’ for your man? It’s just your vagina hun, one of the most sacred, beautiful, SENSITIVE parts of your body…
Run away hun. Run away fast. Any man who has issues with your vagina should take a peek at his own tackle and begin ‘enhancing’ and ‘rejuvenating’ there. Be happy with what you’ve got. You’re vagina is perfectly perfect the way it is; they come in every size, shape and texture under the sun, you just don’t know it cause us women don’t whip it out at urinals and compare ours to the person next to us.
7 comments
Good Grief! I had to look at the date this was published, because I suspected it was a belated April Fool’s joke. C’mon ladies. You’re beautiful. Just the way you are. Any man who doesn’t think EVERY vagina is amazing, mysterious and beautiful, needs his head examined. BOTH of his heads!
Your vagina holds the promise of such intense pleasure, it’s the nest of the future of humanity, it’s the ultimate point of connection between two lovers, it’s….. well ladies it’s pretty much everything to us. Wars have been fought over it, fortunes gained and lost because of it,there is nothing on this planet or any other world that equals your sweet tasting, fragrant vagina. So get over it ladies, and leave it alone! (except for a little “hedge trimming”!!)
James, Such lovely and caring thoughts. You must be married because all the good ones are. Beauty is found in our differences. If a woman loves a man, he could be disfigued and impotent, but to her he would still be her everything. Thank you for reminding the women who read this website that there is still hope that there are some kind, masculine souls out there.
King James, thank you for also reminding us that we must continue to keep our guard up because there are still heartless men out there.
James, no danger in any women around here not being perfectly satisfied with their vaginas. We will be leaving them alone!
I have to admit that no wars have ever been fought over mine or fortunes lost but it is still a nifty little thing whose owner has deep appreciation and gratitude for.
It has been a pleasure hearing, first thing this morning just how swell some of you guys think it is also.
Thanks!
Wow girl. Holy crap. Sheesh!
Bring it on Delaine!
The whole thing just astonishes me too, Wendy. What a sad commentary on the state of some women’s self-esteem and the insidious effects of patriarchy.
Just so u all know, James probably hasnt gotten laid in a millenia, desperate to the bone,.. unless their gay, any guy will have their own opinion of what they wanna see on a womans body,..
i personally would pass on a woman that hs more wrinkles in her lower region than on her face,.. but thats just me,..
there may be women out there who research (you guys) on how they think they should look, if u werent researching on how u look howd u end up posting here?
and most the people commenting here, thought well i would try that,.. but they all will disagree with it, go with the flow of the crowd, while secretly hitting the sign up button,.. Everyones vain with themselves to a point,.. why do guys wanna be larger and bigger? same difference, we all do everything we can to impress the most people and get the best result in the process of elimation for that perfect match,..
next time… chapter 2 from the empty care cup [_] awww seems i still dont care,..
Well…yeah. A vagina can come in all different shapes and sizes, but so do people. Just because we are different doesn’t keep us from trying to all look alike. I’m just saying that although you should be proud of what you have, you should also be confident when it comes time to present it, and not have to be self conscious about it. This procedure can help with that.