Hello God? It’s Me, Delaine. Can You PLEASE Somehow End This Date?

Posted by Delaine - January 20, 2011 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches - 11 Comments

bad-date-get-me-out-of-hereHis comments caught me totally off guard:

We were out on our second date – me and this handsome, charming, 42-year-old divorced businessman. The Indian food we’d eaten was excellent, as was the conversation we’d shared: satisfying…delicious…with just enough ’spice.’  And as we sat there finishing up the last drops of our red wine, I couldn’t help but think, “DAAhmn – I really like this guy!”

But then the topics of marriage and divorce came up.

First I got the LENGTHY low-down around how he and his ex had battled for years over money only to have her ‘rob him blind.’   Seeing how upset he’d become, I tried to lighten things up with:  “Well, thank goodness you two didn’t have kids, right?”

But ‘my bad’ – he didn’t, but his divorcing friend Bob DID.  And off he went, describing in excruciating detail how royally screwed over Bob was getting. And oh my – sounded like castration would have been easier for poor Bob. 

And then – oh yes, my friend, there was more – THEN there was his divorced friend Allan whose wife got the matrimonial home, their holiday house in Hawaii AND enough spousal to have her “set up for life.”  Spit, scowl, grrr – I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into my chair…

Alas, the time for his ‘Grand Conclusion’ finally arrived.   He said, “Me and my buddies all agree that marriage isn’t worth it.  You work your whole life, you bust your balls to become successful…  Then WHAM!  Half of it is gone and you’re out on your ass going, ‘What the hell happened?’  We all agree, no woman is worth losing it all for, even if it’s the best sex you’ve ever had.  Unless, of course, she’s signs a heavy duty PRENUPT.”

And then he laughed…he laughed and laughed and laughed with his head tossed back and his stomach bouncing.   I smiled along politely, wondering what exactly he was laughing at:  Was it his prenuptual ‘joke’?  Was it he and his friends’ ‘stupidity’ for having married?  Or was he laughing at women, myself included?

Suddenly, I felt so belittled and degraded by him and his pack of  ‘divorcing friends’ that I wanted to high-tail it out of there.  Why was he even out with me if he thought so little of women and relationships?

Finally I was alone in my car driving home, thankful and relieved to escape his company.  I sure won’t see HIM again! I thought.

And as if on cue, my cell bleeped.  “Thanks for the wonderful dinner beautiful,” he wrote.  “Let’s do it again this weekend.”

And I laughed.