This past weekend I got together with a few of my closest girlfriends for our annual Christmas dinner (no men allowed!). These are women I’ve known for more than a decade – some married, some still single, some divorced.

But as is commonly the case with thirty/forty-something female friends, it was just a matter of time until the topic of sex appeared on our dinner cards. And as is ALWAYS the case, I drove home that night feeling recharged from my friends’ company… and contemplative over two streams of discussion we’d had around sex:

1: How sex should not be about ‘performing’ to win or keep a man. As one of my newly married girlfriends explained, when she was single back in her twenties, sex was more about pleasing the men than considering what she really wanted or needed herself. Even though she was unconscious of it at the time, she used her sexuality as a way to entice men, keep men, make them love her. Sure she enjoyed sex too, but she only realized now just how insecure she once was, and how she’d used her body to represent her soul. (read more here)

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These days you name it and you can find it in gift certificate form – spa treatments, movies, furniture…  But what do you think of the idea of a ‘Divorce Voucher’ as a Christmas gift?’

A few weeks ago, a law firm in England named Lloyd Platt and Company began offering such vouchers as gifts for the holiday season.  For 125 pounds, each voucher is good for one half-hour session of divorce advice with one of their lawyers, quite a savings since they normally charge 325 pounds/hr ($530/hr).  This means that husbands, wives, mistresses, friends, heck – even kids, can nudge the process along by sticking this paid-for service in a loved-one’s Christmas stocking. (read more here)

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This past week, Mother Nature unleashed her winter wrath up here in Calgary, Alberta.  We’re talking large dumps of snow and temperatures than hovered between -25 and -40 C  (that’s -12 to -40 F).  And though I’m accustomed to extreme weather conditions being a born and bred Canuck, something REALLY stood out for me during this cold bout:  awareness of my own mortality…and the effect my death or a serious injury would have on my young children.

I don’t know if it’s because my 40th birthday lies on the horizon that I’ve become increasingly concerned (paranoid?).  It also didn’t help when I heard the story of a woman in her late thirties who hit black ice, flipped her car and today is confined to a wheelchair.  Regardless, I realize that there are matters I need to tie up to protect and care for my kids – just in case.  Here are few points you, too, may need to tend to:  (read more here)

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Last weekend, Carnival’s cruise ship, Elation, hit the mighty seas for what was branded as the first ever, “Cougar Cruise.”  Parting from San Diego, California and porting in Ensenada, Mexico, this three day adventure was marketed as a ‘’sexually charged’  trip of dancing, eating and partying for older women and younger men.  According to the trip’s sponsors, The Singles Travel Company and The Society of Single Professionals, the cruise sold out almost instantly AND they had to hire more staff because the phone was ringing off the hook.

Back in September, when news of this themed cruise hit cyberspace, comments flew all over the place – some expressing disgust and fuming at the double standard (had such a cruise been marketed for older men/younger women).  But there was no denying the playful and excited tone to the majority of other comments from women (and younger men).  (Read more here)

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Adventures On Vacation: Reconnecting With An Old Boyfriend & An Old Part Of Me

HUNG - A Well-Endowed Dad Gets Pimped Out

Do Men Belittle Each Other For Penis Size?

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She said that within seconds of meeting him, she knew she was attracted to him. And over the next two hours as they sat laughing and talking on their first date, their chemistry was so intense, it was palpable….

But somehow…somehow, she sensed there was something different about this man. There was just ’something’ in his energy…the way he looked at her…the way he held himself. And when he unexpectedly reached across the restaurant table and cupped her cheek with his large hand, her response was frightfully strong…

Eyes closed, she nestled her cheek into his palm, lost in the exploration of his fingers.  He didn’t hesitate – he knew to immediately get up and slide down in the booth beside her while she was still semi-dazed.   He turned his body to her; she found herself oh so close and oh so buried by his energy and massive, hard chest.  He lifted her chin and and drew her mouth to his…a soft yet powerful kiss.  And though a thought in her head quickly protested, You’re in a restaurant, get control of yourself!, she couldn’t stop.  She was lost in the command of his taste and touch; he was making her his, as if he knew he could meet her every need. (read more here)

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The Frog & The Scorpion: A Fable For Those Divorcing

Cheating Scum In The Public Swimming Pool

Power: A Scary Reason Why Some Exes Bow Out On Time With Their Kids

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Over the past year, most of my divorcing friends have found new partners and seemingly established lovely new lives. And I’ve wondered: Why is it taking longer for me? I mean, I crawled and slashed my way out of Rock Bottom, diligently performed my internal housekeeping, and grew and stretched spiritually in so many positive ways. So why, in the grand scheme, was the universe clearly stating I wasn’t ’ready’?

But now, as my second year post-divorce wraps up, I almost have to laugh at my impatience. Only now can I see that I wasn’t ready at all. And it’s a wonderful reminder to me that even when we’re convinced that we want something NOW, there really is a master plan at work, unfolding events at a speed that has our best interest in mind. *(read more here)

Other Articles:

Disempowering Marital Sex

Angered by his Flaccid Penis

Friends With Benefits: Myth, Rarity or Matter of Good Luck?

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I’ve seen it happen on too many occasions to count : ex-partners making demands of their former spouses instead of treating them as the ‘favors’ they truly are.  Is their attitude in part caused by ignorance of the law and parenting?  Perhaps.  Could their demands, in part, be a control tactic?  That’s possible too; an attitude of ‘entitlement’ follows many of those who pay child and spousal support… 

Nonetheless, ignorance is not an excuse.  Nor should controlling behavior be enabled.  You teach your ex how to treat you, just as you did during your marriage.  With that in mind, here are two real-life scenarios where exes demanded something of their ex-wives.  But instead of caving out of guilt / fear, both women consulted a mediator…and their exes were given a wrist-slapping. 

Case #1:  Paul suddenly decided his ex-wife should drive the kids to his house for evening visits.  He demanded this of her, saying it was just as much her responsibility as his; and why should he be the only having to deal with rush-hour traffic? (read more here)

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