Dating After Divorce: When You’re A Chameleon, How Do You Know What ‘Type’ You Like?

Posted by Delaine - October 13, 2009 - Dating & Sex, From the Dating Trenches, Internet Dating, Longing...and Learning - 12 Comments

chameleon woman divorcedAs I continue to wade through the vast sea of online dating, I find myself feeling impatient with myself.  Not because I want a man pronto, but because I’m STILL not sure what ‘type’ of man I like.  And I wonder, Did I get a chameleon chromosone at birth?  Or do I simply have no idea what I’m attracted to in a man?

Over the past week, I’ve briefly chatted with three men online, all of whom I found intriguing on some level.  First, there was the older, hot shot executive from New York who wanted to wine and dine me.  He appealed to the ‘glamourous’ businessman woman side of Delaine.  Then there was the masters student a decade younger than me; I could totally picture myself curling up with him on his stained, secondhand couch drinking a slurpee and chatting about life.  Then there was the long-haired photographer dude who drives a Harley to yoga class.  What can I say? I’m drawn to creative, deep types who break conventional social molds, too!

Sometimes I wonder, is it just me? Do most women HAVE a type of man they like?  Or does every woman have so many colors to her soul that trying to find a match in today’s sea seems overwhelming?

A part of me thinks that at this stage of my life, I should KNOW what I want in a man; or at least, I should be much clearer.  After all, it’s been over two years since my marriage ended, and believe me, I’ve explored the sea a fair amount already (wink).

Instead I find myself clicking on men’s profiles who are seemingly opposites; it’s like looking at a broad display of decadent chocolate knowing that no matter wonderful each morsel might be, tomorrow I’ll probably wake up wanting toffee!

Is anyone else in the same position as me?  Anyone been there and moved beyond it?