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So I’m on the other side of Canada, visiting all my ‘un-divorced’ siblings. Right now I’m sitting in my older brother’s new house - a house that is so big, I don’t think I’d know if a bomb went off in the left wing.
The other day I visited my younger brother’s house. And as I stood outside this brand new, 5000-square foot mansion with SUVs parked out front, my jaw was dragging on the driveway.
As for my sister and her family, they aren’t here - they live in Australia. But I know they’re on a three-day sojourn at their holiday property in Western Australia, something they’ve accumulated alongside revenue properties.
I’m not writing any of this to sound materialistic. And please don’t think that I’m jealous. I’m not only happy that my siblings are living so comfortably, I’m proud of them for all their hard work…and for holding their marriages together.
But as the only divorced sibling, I can’t help but feel a bit ummmm…. ‘different’ than the pack right now. It’s not that THEY’re saying or doing anything to cause this. It all comes from me. It’s me realizing how different my life circumstances are than theirs. And it’s a reminder that if MY family dream had held together, the external trimmings of my life would well have ressembled theirs.
But I would never change my decision to divorce; I couldn’t stay married for money and ‘things.’ And it’s not as if these ‘trimmings’ are forever gone in so much as they’ve been delayed. Divorce was just an UNexpected detour on the path to my Family Dream.
And so I remind myself to enrich my life with the laughter and music of my chidlren. To find joy in the simple things…and to have hope and faith. For some day my heart and soul WILL be filled by an amazing new man in my life. And this road I’ve taken to finding him will make all that we build together all the sweeter.
Beautifully said. No one can buy your happiness, and like you said, this isn’t forever but for now. All that ‘STUFF’ can and will be amassed again, but more importantly it will happen with a man who loves and respects you and your kids as you should be!
This post fits me to a T - I just mentioned it in my own blog (and added yours to my blogroll - I love it!!), as a matter of fact!
Thanks Jolene, I just took a peek at your stuff and you and I have a lot of parallels. And yes, you ARE a good writer! LOL
I think we’re only human to look back over our shoulders and also compare ourselves to those around us. Where we’re at is scary, sure. But exciting,too. Like I said, some of our ‘dreams’ were just delayed, not terminated.
So true - I need to remind myself that I am human
Thanks for the compliment…love that you checked my blog out too, I get excited when I find new bloggers to follow 