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Since separating from my ex-husband two years ago, I haven’t slept with many men; in fact, less than a handful.
Oh - let me clarify: I mean actually sleeping with men.
This has been the case for two reasons. One, I haven’t wanted to sleep beside most of them. And two, I usually have my kids at home and don’t want to expose them to my dating/sex life.
Thus, the few times I have actually slept with men, their presence in my bed was VERY obvious to me. Sure, the cuddling and stuff was really nice. But the quality of my sleep was sorely lacking!
The first man jarred me awake all night with his SNORING. God, that was a ruckus I’d prefer to forget! It quickly brought up memories of my ex-husband snoring, especially after a night of drinking whiskey. The thing is, with my ex, I could get grumpy and shake him hard (or kick him *smile). But with my new lover, I obviously showed restraint…and I just lay there, staring at the ceiling, listening to the ‘man-sounds’ whistling and bellowing beside me.
Then there was Chad, my now-gone Friend With Benefits. He had “I’m a longtime bachelor” written all over his sleeping. He liked to lie on his stomach; not neatly, on his side of the bed, but in a starfish position. And as I lay there restlessly trying to find an inch of free mattress, NOTHING would wake this guy up. I mean nothing. You could tell he’d never gotten up with a crying baby or toddler who wet the bed. And when he woke up in the morning all smiling and refreshed, he couldn’t believe I hadn’t slept well too!
And last, but certainly not least, there was the twitcher’. This man went into a deeeeeeep sleep but would twitch every minute or so. I lay there waiting for it to pass - It will pass, I thought, willing myself to ignore it. But two hours later, then awoken for the 20th time, I resigned myself to a loooooog night.
I know some day I will want to have a special man sleep beside me. And I’ll want him there every night. And whether he snores or hogs the bed or twitches, I know I’ll just get used to it.
But in the meantime, until he comes along, note to self: Always make sure you can take a nap the next day, Delaine. Sleeping with men can be exhausting:).
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Hysterical and soooooo true. The first time I “slept” with a man post divorce was awful. Couldn’t get comfortable, snoring, etc… I ws exhauste the next day and needed a nap. And the fact that you are both used to sleeping a certain way after being alone for a while. Takes some getting used to having another body there in bed with you that isn’t your child. Hope I get better at it soon….hate to think that I”ll never be able to “sleep” with a man again. HAHA.
I think that when the right man comes along, then it’s easier to overlook his “sleeping quirks”. Lucky for me, CBG’s “quirk” is that he doesn’t move all night long. The first night I slept in his bed I checked to make sure he was still breathing. heh. He’s actually easier to sleep beside than my ex-husband.
Sharing a bed for sleep is highly overrated. It’s kind of a shame that it’s become standard for couples to share a bedroom… people really should have their own space and their own bed and only sleep together if both people make the choice to do so that night.
It’s much easier to get a good night sleep when you don’t have to deal with someone else moving around, making noise, hogging your side of the bed, touching you (or rolling over and smacking you in the head in their sleep) when you’re trying to sleep or stealing covers.
Cats make pretty good sleeping companions. Other people are pretty hit or miss.
(Also, mornings suck - morning breath, crusty eyes, dry mouth and crankiness is maybe a little too much familiarity.)