An Uncomfortable Reality: Secrets, Lies & Hidden Desires Are Everywhere

Posted by Delaine - May 11, 2009 - Healing, Infidelity, Social Barriers & Change, Surviving, Wisdom Gained - 7 Comments


It happened while waiting for my son’s school performance to begin. I was sitting in a packed school auditorium amongst row after row of seemingly devoted parents.  


I watched couples sitting side-by-side, some not talking, some holding hands, and the odd mom or dad sitting solo.  Suddenly, the questions began floating through my mind:


Who, here, is truly happily married? 


How many people in this room have a great sex life, a lover on the side, or perhaps no sex at all? 


Who is carrying secrets, restless desires, and who will pretend to be happy in public, only to return home to a glass house?


Since I got divorced my eyeglasses have changed.  Perhaps to a greyer hue.  But I think I’m more realistic. Secrets and lies permeated my home for years prior to my divorce, and I wasn’t some exceptional case.  I’d wanted normal.  I’d wanted simple.  I’d believed and worked hard at the family dream.


We’ve all heard the expression, “You never know what goes on behind closed doors.”  So I sat in the school auditorium looking closely at people’s faces: 


Did he meet a lover earlier in the day? I wondered.  


Is she daydreaming of meeting her lover later on? 


Was his smile genuine, or a well-practiced ‘super husband/ dad’ smile? 


Will she deliberately delay going to bed tonight because the thought of his touch disgusts her? 


For I now know that secrets, lies, and hidden desires…are everywhere.  Even buried amongst row after row of seemingly devoted parents in an elementary school auditorium.