Sadness: My ‘Good Man’ is Gone
I felt it when I first awoke this morning. A feeling I haven’t felt in a long time. One that squeezed at my heart and sent darkness flooding through my bloodstream.
Sadness.
My Good Man is gone.
And this day has not been the same without him.
I sent him away – or rather, I ended our correspondence. I knew it had to be done for I was growing too attached to him. Our geographical distance and life circumstances stood in the face of us ever growing into ‘more.’ And my longing for him had grown to where it matched those blissful moments of our communication, forcing the question: Is this worth it?
I had to decide: Continue investing my time and energy into more of the same – or end it and free my energy and time to channel elsewhere.
My rational, grown-up mind made the final decision…
But not without clamoring protest from my heart and soul.
I’ve thrown myself into my schedule today. And when I found myself laughing – like when my daughter put on a harmonica show and dance – I started filing it away to tell him about tonight.
But I can’t…
He’s gone.
And my body aches…
With sadness.
And now…now, as I sit here with that too-familiar pain in my chest, I wonder: Can one become an expert at letting go? Does it ever get easier? Is it possible for the rational mind to have dominion over affairs of the heart if one experiences enough hurt?
(sigh) It doesn’t feel any easier this time round. The only difference is that I ‘know’ the pain will pass. I know, I know, I know…and yet I ‘feel’ all my knowing away.
I miss you more Mountain Man.
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38 comments
Big hug to you Delaine. This story brought tears to my eyes.
I don’t think it ever does get easier to say goodbye to someone who has touched out heart and soul.
But yes, it will get easer. With time…
XOXO
Big hug to you Delaine. This story brought tears to my eyes.
I don’t think it ever does get easier to say goodbye to someone who has touched out heart and soul.
But yes, it will get easer. With time…
XOXO
Big hug to you Delaine. This story brought tears to my eyes.
I don’t think it ever does get easier to say goodbye to someone who has touched out heart and soul.
But yes, it will get easer. With time…
XOXO
Big hug to you Delaine. This story brought tears to my eyes.
I don’t think it ever does get easier to say goodbye to someone who has touched out heart and soul.
But yes, it will get easer. With time…
XOXO
Big hug to you Delaine. This story brought tears to my eyes.
I don’t think it ever does get easier to say goodbye to someone who has touched out heart and soul.
But yes, it will get easer. With time…
XOXO
I know that pain too. It feels like I’m being eaten from the inside out. He comes into my mind every other moment of the day like a black cloud surrounding my entire body.
Somtimes this ability to feel seems like a horrendous curse. I can actually feel my physical heart hurting.
I know that pain too. It feels like I’m being eaten from the inside out. He comes into my mind every other moment of the day like a black cloud surrounding my entire body.
Somtimes this ability to feel seems like a horrendous curse. I can actually feel my physical heart hurting.
I know that pain too. It feels like I’m being eaten from the inside out. He comes into my mind every other moment of the day like a black cloud surrounding my entire body.
Somtimes this ability to feel seems like a horrendous curse. I can actually feel my physical heart hurting.
I know that pain too. It feels like I’m being eaten from the inside out. He comes into my mind every other moment of the day like a black cloud surrounding my entire body.
Somtimes this ability to feel seems like a horrendous curse. I can actually feel my physical heart hurting.
I know that pain too. It feels like I’m being eaten from the inside out. He comes into my mind every other moment of the day like a black cloud surrounding my entire body.
Somtimes this ability to feel seems like a horrendous curse. I can actually feel my physical heart hurting.
Oh honey, I’m so sorry. It is very painful…
Big hug to you.
Oh honey, I’m so sorry. It is very painful…
Big hug to you.
Oh honey, I’m so sorry. It is very painful…
Big hug to you.
Oh honey, I’m so sorry. It is very painful…
Big hug to you.
Oh honey, I’m so sorry. It is very painful…
Big hug to you.
*hugs*
I know what it’s like to have that head/heart struggle.
*hugs*
I know what it’s like to have that head/heart struggle.
*hugs*
I know what it’s like to have that head/heart struggle.
*hugs*
I know what it’s like to have that head/heart struggle.
*hugs*
I know what it’s like to have that head/heart struggle.
Yes, one can become an expert at letting go. Work very hard to never obtain that level of expertise!
Once the rational mind claims dominion over matters of the heart it becomes more difficult to develop attachments such as the one you have with your “good man.”
I hate you are feeling bad but, I’m damned happy you are able to feel. The sweet relationsnhip you had with him sounds as if it was worth the loss you are feeling.
And, like you said, the pain will pass.
Yes, one can become an expert at letting go. Work very hard to never obtain that level of expertise!
Once the rational mind claims dominion over matters of the heart it becomes more difficult to develop attachments such as the one you have with your “good man.”
I hate you are feeling bad but, I’m damned happy you are able to feel. The sweet relationsnhip you had with him sounds as if it was worth the loss you are feeling.
And, like you said, the pain will pass.
Yes, one can become an expert at letting go. Work very hard to never obtain that level of expertise!
Once the rational mind claims dominion over matters of the heart it becomes more difficult to develop attachments such as the one you have with your “good man.”
I hate you are feeling bad but, I’m damned happy you are able to feel. The sweet relationsnhip you had with him sounds as if it was worth the loss you are feeling.
And, like you said, the pain will pass.
Yes, one can become an expert at letting go. Work very hard to never obtain that level of expertise!
Once the rational mind claims dominion over matters of the heart it becomes more difficult to develop attachments such as the one you have with your “good man.”
I hate you are feeling bad but, I’m damned happy you are able to feel. The sweet relationsnhip you had with him sounds as if it was worth the loss you are feeling.
And, like you said, the pain will pass.
Yes, one can become an expert at letting go. Work very hard to never obtain that level of expertise!
Once the rational mind claims dominion over matters of the heart it becomes more difficult to develop attachments such as the one you have with your “good man.”
I hate you are feeling bad but, I’m damned happy you are able to feel. The sweet relationsnhip you had with him sounds as if it was worth the loss you are feeling.
And, like you said, the pain will pass.
Why do you have to let him go? Don’t let him go. If he is truley a “Good Man” don’t let him go.
Why do you have to let him go? Don’t let him go. If he is truley a “Good Man” don’t let him go.
Why do you have to let him go? Don’t let him go. If he is truley a “Good Man” don’t let him go.
Why do you have to let him go? Don’t let him go. If he is truley a “Good Man” don’t let him go.
Why do you have to let him go? Don’t let him go. If he is truley a “Good Man” don’t let him go.
Wondering how you’re doing Delaine. You’ve been very quiet this week…you OK?
Wondering how you’re doing Delaine. You’ve been very quiet this week…you OK?
Wondering how you’re doing Delaine. You’ve been very quiet this week…you OK?
Wondering how you’re doing Delaine. You’ve been very quiet this week…you OK?
Wondering how you’re doing Delaine. You’ve been very quiet this week…you OK?
I couldn’t do it.
I’m talking to him again.
Just trying to reframe it. I can’t deal with another good-bye right now.
Wow…what I am most comforted by in these responses is that we have common experiences. The inability to even let the thought of him go is oppressive. We parted because as good as it WAS, it became equally as BAD. That thought of, when will I find someone as good with me again. The physical NEEDINESS is painful. And trying to find a replacement for that same beautiful connection seems impossible. Reality is…it hasn’t happened yet, and it’s been years of back and forth emotional pain. I sent him a text last week and asked, implored actually, that he change his phone number so I would no longer feed the thought of the possibility of a future and the have to feel the depression of leaving that message and receiving nothing in return. Accepting it is over is the hardest part.
Hi Delaine ! i just read your article. I too have tried to let go of my “Good Man” but in vain. are you still in touch with your Good Man today too ? What sort of relationship do you have with him now ? did you eventually meet your Good Man ? I was wondering and would love to hear about it….if you are willing to tell me. I might help guide me in my present dilemma of my head versus heart too.