Loving…Without Attachment: A Prescription for Hurting Hearts?
No, I’m not fantasizing about falling in love again. I’m imagining what it would be like to experience a weekend of ‘love without attachment.’ And I wonder: Might they be a wonderful prescription for our restless/ hurting hearts after divorce?
Remember when you were in that really bad emotional place? Or maybe you’re there now. The confusion, the aching, the overwhelm… Don’t you yearn to turn it off for awhile? To recharge? Some part of you aches to find solace in the body and heart of another person. You long for a FEELING: Of peace. Of being 100% authentic, 100% you, wherever you are right now. No games. No conditions or future promises. Just you and this other person, with whom you could laugh, pillow talk with, and love…
“But Delaine,” you might protest, “If I shared that kind of connection with someone, I wouldn’t want it to end after a weekend.” But what if you simply ‘knew’ this relationship could never be more? What if you knew you weren’t ready for more? Would you be brave enough to actually ‘love’ another – passionately, openly, purely – knowing it wouldn’t mean forever?
I imagine what it would be like in the aftermath of such a weekend… I think there might there be a twinge of sadness. For human nature is to grasp tightly to another. We are afraid. We are needy. We LONG…
But if we could look beyond our neediness, FEEL beyond that, I think such weekends could lovingly propel our lives forward. For we’d have been heard. We’d have been seen and touched on the heart and soul level. And we would emerge back into the real world freer. Lighter. Stronger. And hopeful of what might lie ahead.