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My friend Rochelle and I were catching up with our long-time, also-divorced girlfriend, Tara, who was visiting from out of town. Suddenly, Tara turned to Rochelle and said: “So I just started dating this guy – a doctor from Edmonton – and the other day I remembered YOU had dated some a doctor dude from Edmonton last year.”
Right away I thought, No way. What were the chances of them dating the same guy when all three of them live in different cities?
She started describing him: 38, dark, really wealthy, well-endowed, never married. Then: “And he talks REALLY dirty in bed - the first time we were together, I was like, ‘holy s***!’”
Rochelle was intrigued. “Can you pull up his photo on the dating site?”
One minute later: Ding! There he was, their mutual ‘friend.’ And we howled.
It turned out that Tara had only dated him a couple of times thus far and she really wasn’t sure what to think of him. Her questions started flying at Rochelle:
Ø Do you think he’s a player?
Ø Were you surprised he was so sexually aggressive?
Ø Did you find him rather uptight? Pretentious?
Ø What did your intuition say about him?…
They laughed and talked about him in such detail that I suddenly blurted: “Doesn’t this feel WEIRD to you two? Especially you, Tara, cause you’re still dating him!”
But they both agreed it didn’t. Who cares if they’d had sex with the same guy? It’s not like they’d dated him at the same time. If anything, Tara really appreciated Rochelle’s thoughts and insights, and Rochelle, knowing and loving her as much as she does, felt a sisterly responsibility to answer her as honestly as possible.
Still, it’s not every day a woman finds out that she and a close friend had sex with the same person. Espeically when they’re dealing with the vast world of internet dating!
So I gotta ask you: Has this scenario ever presented itself to you? And did it, or would it, weird you out?
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This did happen to me once! I had been dating a man for about four months when a friend of mine told me they’d dated and had sex a couple years earlier.
I can’t say it made me feel uncomfortable or threatened. Though I did imagine them together…lol But we’re grown ups and I figured it was a fluky part of dating life - especially when you’re older and the sea of available men is smaller!
Can’t say I’ve ever shared a man with a ‘close’ girlfriend… but a distant one, yes. At the time I was in my early twenties and was totally jealous.lol But if it were to happen now AND with a close friend, I think I’d want her thoughts on him too.
I’ve twice had buddies sleep with ex-girlfriends of mine, and it bugged the crap out of me! There’s a male code that says you just don’t do that. They are buddies no more.
Have to say yes this happened. A very good friend of mine and I were talking about a man that we both knew. Turned out we’d “shared” him years earlier. Before any of the three of us were married. Before she and I had become such close friends that we would have talked about our men. No it wasn’t weird but then again it was all in the past and over and done with.
I live in a small town; happens all the time. My friend & I are meeting & dating the same men from online dating sites. And if you’ve lived here a long time, you’re sure to have slept with someone your friend has and know your ex’s previous partners. Yeah, it’s a weird, sometimes icky feeling. The desirable prospects here are slim.