It’s been three and a half years since my ex-husband and I split up. And since then, despite the many dates and mini-relationships I’ve had, I’m still single. But I don’t think of this as being a ‘bad’ thing ; I think I’ve needed this time – to heal, to grow, to like myself more…and to get a much stronger sense of what a healthy relationship looks/feels like.
That being said, I want to bring up a conversation I shared with a divorced girlfriend the other day; it was a bit of an ‘aha‘ for me and I’m filing it away for reference for when I meet a potential Mr. Right:
My friend suggested that one flashing, yet oftentimes overlooked warning of an unhealthy relationship is when a woman constantly talks about her man’s potential instead of how he is – like right now, day-in day-out. This woman talks a lot in the ‘future tense’, ie, he will be happy/more loving/more successful/a better father/ spouse when he gets a new job/believes himself more/is less stressed out/ finds his spiritual center etc. Until he gets ‘there’ – wherever ‘there’ may be, she tolerates his poor treatment of her, buries her unhappiness and hurt (maybe even blames herself for it?), and may even makes excuses for his behavior. (read more here)













At any point since your marriage ended, have you been inspired to see a tarot card reader or psychic? Cause I have. A few times, in fact. I’ve also looked for ‘angel footprints’ and messages from Above – it’s all about needing a bit of faith, isn’t it? In ourselves, our futures AND the universe we live in?
The most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive marriage is
So I spent the wee hours of last Monday night having a ‘private party’ with just me, a bottle of wine, and Alanis Morrisette. Of course, she was just playing on youtube… but I’ll tell you, the music from her album, Jagged Little Pill, sure did hit the spot – especially the song, Ironic. For you see, further to
Warning: I’m a little scattered today…
Venturing into the online dating world can feel as scary as trekking through a dark, unknown wood. Who lurk’eth in the shadows? we can’t help but wonder. Maybe “lions & ligers & bears, on my!”
Recently, I sat with my emotionally devastated friend Maddie who had just discovered her husband was having an affair. Why? When? How? Now what? her brain raced to answer, as she felt her family dream falling to the ground in slow motion.
As my divorced girlfriend Amy told me about a recent first date she went on, she was practically squealing. For not only was her date smart, funny and gentlemanly, she was very sexually attracted to him. “I kept having to tell myself to stop staring at his lips,” she laughed. “My mind kept flashing with scenes of us getting naked!” So at the end of their evening, when he dropped her off at her house, Amy said she literally “jumped out of the car” as soon as he parked. “I just knew that if he so much as kissed me, I’d end up in bed with him that night.”
I’m writing this article with the theme song of the movie Rocky playing in my mind. For at this very moment, I don’t just feel like Delaine The Divorced Mother who raises her three kids 95% of the time on her own with no help. No no - I am a champion; my feet are dancing and my arms are raised in victory. For it took strength I didn’t know I had, sweat, blood, and yes, even tears - but in the end, I won: I defeated the insidious Chicken Pox virus that descended upon my children last week and remain standing!
As I read through his lengthy profile on the dating site, I found myself laughing out loud. It was written with such good humor that I assumed THIS line was too: 